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Hesterectomy

Cyndi04
Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2010

Hello everyone. Im new to this site and just wanted to know if anyone would share their experiance about their hesterectomy.
Im 33 yeras old and have just accepted that I have cancer. I was told June of 09'. Ive never had children so I know thats out the door. Its just hard for me because when i found out about my cancer my husband and I fell into depression. We were both scared, confused and disappointed.
We lose everything due to doctor visits, treatment, travel, etc. So we had to move in with my in-laws. Its been HELL there and I know that its my fault that I now need to have the hesterectomy. My oncologist told me to lower my stress. How was I suppost to do that with everything going on in my life??!!!!
I stress every day thinking about how we going to pay for my medical bills, and the other million bills we have. So, now that Im stage 2 of uterine cancer and found out yesterday that I need the hesterectomy done within the month. Scares me to DEATH. Im young, and why do bad things happen to my family? Cant understand why me???
Dont I have other options?

Ro10's picture
Ro10
Posts: 1395
Joined: Jan 2009

We have all been there when we got the cancer diagnosis - fear, confused and disappointed. It is not your fault that you have cancer though. There is not anything that you could do to prevent getting cancer. As you read some of these posts, many of us thought we were in good health, doing what we should, and still got cancer.

I had a robotic hysterectomy, but many others have had the abdominal hysterectomy and can tell you of their experiences. What scares you about the hysterectomy? Being in the hospital, not being able to have children, or fear of pain from the surgery? I hope you can express your fears to your family or a friend. If not then you can express them here. This is a good place to get rid of your fears or anger you are feeling. Mnay here have had the same experience, so know you are not alone.

I think you should talk to a social worker at the hospital about your concerns regarding finances. They can help you find ways to pay your medical bills. Good luck with your surgery. You and your family will remain in my prayers. In peace and caring.

Cyndi04
Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank u 4 replying. I am scared. What scares me? Well, just about everything! I dont know where 2 start. Scared that I will be bitter towards everyone and everything after my surgery. Afraid that my feelings will hurt the ones I love. Its been a long and stressful road 4 me and I now know why I need the surgery, but I dont how I will take it after the fact. What comes next? Thats what scares me!

Ro10's picture
Ro10
Posts: 1395
Joined: Jan 2009

Being scared is a normal feeling for what you are about to go through, and already been through. The fear of the unknown is very scary. When you do not know what lies ahead for you. I am glad you have a supportive husband. You need to take one day at a time. Sorry for all the stress you have been through. I hope your surgery is soon and you can get that step behind you, and wishing you good results afterwards. Feel free to come back and express any other concerns you have. We are here for you. In peace and caring.

TiggersDoBounce's picture
TiggersDoBounce
Posts: 413
Joined: Oct 2009

Sending hugs...first of all, getting this cancer is NOT your fault.

I am sure living with the inlaws can be stressful, but let them take care of you :0
That is what families do for one another...

Please keep us posted on your progress. We have been where you are going....

Laurie

Cyndi04
Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you, I now know its not my fault. Its just hard because I dont have the support from the in-laws. They have neever liked me from the begining, so moving in with them has been hell. Its just made me stronger, I dont need there support, I have my husband and right now thats all I need. I dont have the surgery date yet, but I will keep evryone posted.

nempark
Posts: 592
Joined: Apr 2010

Dear Cyndi: Don't be so hard on yourself. We were all very disappointed and devastated when we were diagnosed. Unfortunately, at this time, you had to move in with your inlaws which can be very stressful. But at the same time, its a blessing because at least you have somewhere to go. I have a friend right now that has no one, absolutely no one. So please count your blessings. I know both you and your husband must be scared especially since you are so young. My dear God is great and you are going to see if you just keep a positive attitude and stop blaming yourself for something that you have no control of you will surprise yourself how much you will be able to endure. May be later you will be able to adopt a baby. Get your self and your thoughts together and pray to God to give you the wisdom to be able to cope with this devastating situation. Remember you have a husband that needs you and if you continue to blame your self and not think positive and prepare yourself to deal with this monster, you will pressure him and will not get the support you need at this time. Believe me my darling, I know what you are going through. You can endure this and you can come out a winner. Fight and be strong do not give up you can do it, be like the rest of us, we fought and we are still going strong, some of us were exactly in the same position as you are but we did not give up or blame ourselves. Hysterctomny is just part of the journey. I send you love and comfort. I wish I was there to hold you and give you a hug, but as you read this I will be hugging and giving you comfort. Keep us informed. June

aprillorey's picture
aprillorey
Posts: 104
Joined: Apr 2010

Hello i have to respond to this because i know how you feel i'm only 29 years old my husband and i had tried for 5 oh most 6 years to have children having some problams not geting preggy we thought of trying the IFV ( maybe we thought there be some hope with this ) how ever in march i found out i had urtaus cancer and i to would need the Hysterctomy our dream to ever have children was over with

I felt angery, i felt mad i felt alone i felt very much a scard not just because i could not have kids now due to cancer but i had a deep fear of cancer its self

i asked WHY ME ? why now at this point of my life ? my fear was am i going to die how long will i have to live ?

WHY do i have to get cancer and now why is my chance at having children over with ? why me i asked

on April 16th i had a full complet Hysterctomy.

mine was stage 1 but grade 2 and mine was caused by to much hormons im told im in remison of my cancer of course but i have to do readition ill start radition on june 23 to lower my risk of the cancers return

and my journy isnt over with i will go for check ups every three months and ct scans once a year if u get past 5 year mark u will be cancer free im now 8 weeks post my surgery

i want you to know your not alone

its funny they say only 15% will get this cancer below the age of 55 or somthing like that im 29 and your in early 30s it doesnt seem fair or right now mater ones age

i will be praying for God to touch you to bring you comfort and peace alot of us has been where you set and let me tell you the fear the worry the stress the asking why me the mad the angery feelings is all Normal

this cancer is by no means anything you did wrong turst me i use to say maybe it was my fault maybe i caused the cancer but turth is we did nothing wrong

please keep us informed on how are u hun

HUGS april

Cyndi04
Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2010

In the beginging I did have a positive out look in life. I had accepted my illness and was ready 2 move on, but the negative comments that the in-laws make have been hard. I dont know why I let them get to me, but its like they know in vulnerable. Im ok, these past few days my best friend has been keeping me busy. The distraction is very helpful. I am strong, and I know I can endure this and much more. Im trying to move on and being positive, and I know that all that matters now is me, and my husband. Thanks.

Cyndi04
Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2010

Thank you June, your words mean alot to me. Im stil hanging in there. Taking it one-day at a time. Still dont know when or what kind of a hyst I will get, but I will keep u all posted. Thanks again.

jazzy1's picture
jazzy1
Posts: 1387
Joined: Mar 2010

I do know it can't be easy just hearing the word cancer, then knowing you have to move in with inlaws who for some reason don't think highly of you. Thankfully you have a very supportive husband.

You have no choice but to get thru it, might I offer a suggestion. When I was growing up I lived too long with my parents and didn't move out until I was 29 yrs, due to having gone back to college. They were so overbearing and controlling that I had issues with continuing to live under their roof. I just learned to keep to myself and not bother with them, but be friendly. I chose to read many positive and motivating books, which helped pull me thru the tough times. In the end I made it and graduated, found a great job and married a wonderful man (husband today 23 yrs later).

Without my mind altering books, yoga , meditation and higher power, I don't know how I would have made it. They had such power over me for years. Today when I get in a tough situation I know to look inside myself for the strength I started to build 28 years ago.

If we look outside for support no matter what we use as a higher power, we can be successful as a human being, and know our present situation isn't the end for us.

Keep smiling and putting one foot in front of the other....it could be a lot worse!!!

((((( hugs )))))
Jan

Cyndi04
Posts: 7
Joined: Jun 2010

Still here. Waiting 4 the day that my oncologist calls 2 let me know when I'm scheduled 4 my hysterectomy. Its been a very very long 2 weeks. I'm hanging in there , but this waiting game is hard 2 do.

jazzy1's picture
jazzy1
Posts: 1387
Joined: Mar 2010

I've been right where you are now.....waiting. In fact, I had D&C and waited 1-1/2 weeks and then had hysterectomy to see if they got all cancer with pathology. Waited another 2 weeks and it should have been shorter timeframe, except doc's RN put my report on desk of another doc and I was in termoil longer...gee!!

It will all work out and we're here for you....keep coming back and updating!!
Jan

daisy366's picture
daisy366
Posts: 1493
Joined: Mar 2009

Cindi,

We have all been in your shoes. I know I've tried to figure out how/why I got this horrible cancer when I did everything RIGHT!!! It isn't fair. I asked my doc and he said it was "bad luck...like getting struck by lightning!". Not much consolation but S--- happens to good people and maybe life can get better because of or despite the bad things.

I think your distraction is definitely a good thing. I'm reading Eakhart Tolle's New Earth and he talks of "This Too Shall Pass". If we can stay in the moment and enjoy it the best we can this helps because EVERYTHING will pass - the good and the bad!!! I'm working on this myself - Wondering if/when my recurrence will "take off". We will make ourselves sicker if we dwell on it. I try to get rid of the negative thoughts as the pop up.

So my best advice is the enjoy your hubbie and enjoy everything that life has to offer you TODAY!!

All the best to you now!! Mary Ann

kathybd
Posts: 126
Joined: Jul 2009

I had my CT last Mon and they found an increase in number and size of mesenteric lymph nodes. "None of which are pathologic in size." My Doc says he has never seen this with metastasis, but anything is possible. With your recurrence, I have started to panic and talked to him again. He is ordering a PET scan to get more info on this, and to calm me. So your advice for Cindi, is well taken by me. Thank you and hope you are doing well!
Hugs,
Kathy

sillylilmizzy's picture
sillylilmizzy
Posts: 10
Joined: Jun 2010

Hi Cyndi,

I can understand too.. I am 38 and for the last 5 years have been struggling with fibroid tumors. They did not have cancer in them. It was just recently that I was told after having my uterus removed that I had cancer in the lining of my uterus. There are all kinds of questions I still need to ask. It's frustrating, scary and I am depressed so is my husband. We take each moment we can and smile laugh and sometimes we do argue.. And mange to chat about it. Having a child was our wish too, and it was either we try again for a c hild and maybe I die, or I stay around for the love of my life. I have my husband and our little dog Joey.. And I believe and hope someday to adopt a child. But I do mourn for the loss of a child I'll never have, and it's hard to feel all those emotions.

I also think why me isn't this enough.. In a wheelchair I have a husband with brain damage, a family who isn't there to help. And now I need to be strong enough to get well walk longer distance and hold this all together with not alot of support.. Sometimes when it rains it pours sweetie... But I gotta say, that there is so much more I need to do.. And that thought of helping serving helps me get out of what I am feeling..

I have learned and my husband has helped me thru this that it's okay to grieve to be upset. To be frustrated and to especially Mourn.. Now I am in the next chapter of my life I too am scared looking for the right answers to ask my doctor, so I can get a definate answer do I have cancer anymore??

Good luck.. Breath and take small moments of Joy... They'll come longer in time..

September2009
Posts: 2
Joined: Apr 2010

Cyndi,
You are not alone in your pain. I am 43, single and never had children. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer, stage 1b3, 10 months ago. I went through surgery, chemo and radiation. My hair is just starting to grow back. That is about the only positive thing in my life right now. The dream of having a child of my own is over. Yes I am sad, angry, regretful and bitter. I have every right to feel this way and so do you. The important thing is not to let those feelings continue for very long. The situation cannot be changed for us. There is no turning back on what has happened. We have no choice but to go on living. I know this is easier said than done but there are still bills to pay, jobs to return to, relatives and other loved ones to care for, pets to look after etc... Life goes on despite what has happend to us. It is upsetting and unfair, I know! But it is a fact. Life is unfair. I also feel "why me?". The last five years have been sad and awful for me and my family: death of a sibling, my parents split up, my cancer diagnosis, one of my parents was hospitalized and needed emergency surgery recently...it never seems to end. Somehow we have managed to "survive" the continuous dark cloud that hangs over us. A few months ago during one of my doctor appointments, some wonderful patient advocates and volunteers at my hospital saw the stress I was under and steered me to the psychological and palliative dept of the hospital. I have been in therapy for a few months now and it has helped tremendously. I still have feelings of anger, regret, etc...but it is so comforting to know that you can talk to someone and not be judged. Please see if your hospital's social worker can put you in contact with a staff psychologist. They are specially trained in working with cancer patients/survivors. I don't know how long i will continue to see my therapist but I know that I won't stop any time soon. It is helping me cope with my feelings.
Good luck and try to stay strong,

September2009

mmurcia2000
Posts: 27
Joined: Jun 2010

I am 30 years old and had a radical hysterectomy 4 weeks ago today. My husband and I tried to get pregnant for 3 years and then when we were waiting for me to have a period to begin IVF, I was diagnosed with cancer.

I too was angry, terrified, and overwhelmed. To make matters worse, you have to make decisions like keeping your ovaries or not (if thats an option for you), etc.

Everything for me happened really fast- one and a half week from diagnosis to hysterectomy! I completely understand your asking why this happened to you and I can tell you that things get better. While I am starting to feel back to normal, I have scheduled an appointment to see a counselor to mourn the loss of my ability to bear children and deal with the past 3 years. However, I can tell you that there is nothing better than hearing that you are cancer free. Mine was caught early and I didnt need any additional treatment, but I was ready to go through chemo if it meant I get to be by my loved ones longer.

I dont feel like an old lady either. I do have hot flashes, but I can live with them and they seem to get better from what I hear. I feel full of life and am getting information about adoption so that we can pursue that when the time comes. I can tell you that everyone has always told me that once you have a baby in your arms that is yours- you dont care that you didnt give birth to it. You love it just the same. There are some ladies on this blog that can speak to that.

Find the help of a counselor to help you through this. I think we all asked why, but no one deserves cancer.Find out about indigent care at your treatment center. Stay strong. This too shall pass.

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