May 19, 2010 - 3:31 pm
Well today was the post VAT procedure visits. The visit with the thorasic surgeon went well. Incision healing, post chest scan looked so much like the before, he had to double check that he had the correct one. No fluid in the lung, breath sounds are great, I am completely asymptomatic, he was pleased. Yes, it is sqamous cell anal cancer in your pleura; the thickening we saw on the PET and 2 other tiny spots. He said "you will get some chemo for this and I suspect you will be around for a long time".
Now onto the MED/onc. She walked in with a gloom and doom attitude. All apologetic for what the VATS showed, sorry about how things are going, yada,yada,yada! Her exact words were...well I think we need to get started on some chemo and buy you some time". She said at this point, we cannot cure you, just treat you. I came unglued! I don't know what I was expecting, but it sure wasn't her acting as if she was writing me off! I inquired about what chemo she would suggest and she had three of four ideas, but could offer me nothing in respect to effectiveness of any of them. Would just be trial and error. Do some for a couple of months, do a scan, check effects, continue or try something else, based on results. I had inquired previously about her contacting Dr. Cathy Eng at MDAnderson in Houston. They see a LOT of anal cancer there. She had not done that as of today. She said she could certainly try, but when I said I would just gather my records and fly out there for a second opinion, she said...that might not be a bad idea. I do not consider myself highstrung, but I am opinionated and have no problem speaking up. I want someone in my corner that is willing to step outside the box, be innovative and aggresive. Especially when we are talking about my life here! My husband remarked the first time that we met with her that she seemed, young, meek and timid to him. I blew it off. I was so glad to get away from the original onc's. condensending attitude that I wanted to feel good about this one. Am I expecting too much? My head is just spinning; this is probably not making any sense, but I feel like I am going to explode! Perhaps I am out of touch with reality, DENIAL, there's a good word. Whew, ok...got that all out. BREATHE.
I told her "I'll get back with you on this and she said fine. I made an appointment with her for a month from now, with the agreement that she would work me in if I decided to see her sooner.
Thanks for letting me vent. Hoping tomorrow will be sunnier!!!