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Momma's Gone

MommasGirl527
Posts: 8
Joined: Dec 2009

She fought this disease, but it was too strong for her. My mother, my best friend, and a truly loving person to all living beings died in my arms on Mother's Day.

I don't know how to act, what to say.....I go through my days in a fog, making arrangements, calling friends. But this world will never look the same to me without her in it.

She was very loved....and she is sorely missed.

In Loving Memory of Frannie

~Patti

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1610
Joined: Aug 2009

I am very sorry about the loss of your mom. The first few days after the death of a loved one leaves us in a fog. There are so many things to do and we feel like our world will never be the same. It won't. Your normal has changed and it will take time to heal. We all grieve in our own way and time, but we all need to grieve. Your mother will always be a part of you. Try to remember the good times. Fay

admm
Posts: 4
Joined: May 2010

Im so sorry to hear of you loss. Mothers are already very special and if she was your best friend that means you two were very close and that is a true blessing. I too loss my mother in 2001 and recently my husband March 2010 and I dont know how I made it through the first couple weeks, I really dont remember them, it was Gods grace and mercy that kept me and the support of family, friends and my children that get me through. Its ok to cry, its ok to say "Im not doing well today". Ask for help when you need it and lean on those that love you. Your life will never be the same. I find strength in knowing that there are many people who have experienced great loss, as we have, and are now living happy lives. I will keep you too in prayer

Sincerely

Tina Blondek's picture
Tina Blondek
Posts: 1560
Joined: Nov 2009

Hello Patti
God bless you and keep you at this difficult time. I recently lost my dad to ec with mets to the liver on March 9,2010. Just try your best to keep your faith. Know that she is in a much better place now. No pain, no suffering, no meds, she is finally cured of cancer! Also remember what Jesus promised us....."Those that believe in me shall live forever in eternity." You must believe in this. And you will always have that beautiful memory of her passing in your arms on Mother's Day...that is touching. She was at peace, you made her comfortable, she knew it was ok to go. You right now do not think of this as a wonderful memory, but you will in time. My dad passed in the arms of my mom, brother, and nephew. I was not there. At first I was so angry with myself,but now 2 mos. later, I look back and think I am so glad I wasn't, because we had such a close bond that he probably would have tried to hang on longer knowing I was there. At the end he did not have any quality of life left. Quality outweighs quantity at this point. Would you want her to still be here while she is in pain? Suffering? Living on pain meds? Being bed ridden? No, of course not. It was time for her to move on to the Kingdom of God. Do not worry, we will be with them again, and we will spend eternity together! What a beautiful thought to think of. Until that time we both have to move on with our lifes. We have husbands and children and households that need our attention. My dad said on his last days...."Until we meet again." How true that is! Hugs to you and your family. Keep in touch, and come here to help others as I have helped you. Peace.
Tina

jminc
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2010

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 1/2 years ago, and she passed away may 22nd, i am 25 and it is very hard because i also lost my father 2 years ago in a accident which was a complete shock, i was just looking for someone to talk to who can relate to losing a mother??

mdnikki
Posts: 34
Joined: Apr 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. My mom must passed away last week as well, the day before Mothers Day. It was a somber experience going to pick out a grave site on Mothers Day. Well the family has gone home, and I have gone back to work trying to fill my days but for some reason today is just one of those days I am on the verge of tears.

I know you are feeling this huge void and while I have no words of advice I wanted to say I understand. My mom was my best friend as well. Its hard not dialing her number each day.

My thoughts are with you...

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1610
Joined: Aug 2009

I have found that there is often no reason for those down days, or the reason is something small. We just have to accept them and go with them. You have only been grieving a very short time. Don't expect too much of yourself. Fay

anthonya
Posts: 11
Joined: Jun 2010

but I think it's wonderful and very, very special that your mother passed away in your arms. I'm certain she was aware of all your love for her when she breathed her last breath of life here on earth.

My mother passed away from cancer a little over a week ago. I was extremely close to her.

She was in the hospital 21 days and fought bravely. In the end, she decided to let go and be free.
I am proud to say that I never left her side - day and night, despite doctors telling me to get some rest and leave for a bit, and family members (I have a very small family) saying the same thing to me. But I would have none of that. There wasn't anything in the world that could take me away from my mother's side.

I am sorry however that she didn't pass away in my arms. I had sat down for a brief moment while I thought she was finally getting some sleep from a very difficult night she had had (along with me). I had fallen asleep for about 20 minutes. I was woken up by a nurse that told me "Quick, Anthony, come quickly, your mother is passing away. I ran to her side but she had already past.

I wish I had held her while she was passing. I guess it that was not meant to be. But you and I know that being as close as we could be in the end was worth every effort we made for them in the end. Our mothers know this. :-)

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grandmafay
Posts: 1610
Joined: Aug 2009

Our sons are convinced that my husband waited until I was out of the room to die. Maybe he did. Who knows? I do know that he knew I loved him and wanted him to be at peace and without pain. Your mother knew the same thing about you. Fay

nempark
Posts: 579
Joined: Apr 2010

You will Patty, It seems impossible now, but you will. Hugs and best wishes.

doug2112
Posts: 10
Joined: Nov 2009

Lost my mom Jan 1st this year. There are still good days and bad days. But i know she would not want me to be sad all the time. We will carry on, and never forget the ones we love...

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