Young Caregivers?
- Courtney
Comments
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Dont feel lonely...
Hi Courtney, i turned 19 last month and my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in january!
Everything happened so quickly it took me a while to stop and think what was really going on and i had to get ready for the consequences cause they were coming if i was ready or not!
I get very depressed too at times, theres days im happy theres days im sad and i cry and cry i talk to my close friends but at times i feel like nobody understands what one is going through and how much it hurts us to see out mothers go through what they are going through and the worst part for me is accepting the fact that i CANT do anything to take the pain away from my mom! i started missing school now, i get too depressed to go i usually go to my best friends house and cry to her and her mom who ive known for 7 years now, i feel a bit better after letting my feelings out to them, i dont cry infront of my mom, i dont want her to cry if she sees me u know...i can realate to what your going through, its hard its tough its hurtful its painful its cruel but dont give up because you and your mom are in this together!!! i dont know if your mom had had chemos?? how did u deal with that? my mom just had her first one 3 weeks ago and i think now that she is loosing her hair, its hitting me the worst. i been crying all night since thursday, til lastnight when i got online here!! everyone here cheers u up! they give u good advice and words of encouragement!
dont give up courtney be the inspiration to your mom, be strong! i know its easier said than done but TRY have FAITH and Hope! Things will turn out OKAY!
im here if u need to talk to trust me i understand just how u feel...depression sucks! always try to get distracted i dyed my hair yesterday!i went to a friends house to get distracted n stuff it was good i got pink! lol dont really like it now though! hhaha
ttyl!
take care!0 -
Support Group?
Hi Courtney.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. You might check with social workers at the hospital where your mom is getting treated to find out if there are any support groups available in in your area for people your age. There are support groups available for children of cancer patients at the hospital where my husband is getting treated, and also from a non-profit organization that is closer to our home.
My son is only 3, but I decided to start taking him recently and began to attend the spousal caregiver support group at the same time. I wish I had started attending a support group for myself earlier, because it was the first time in over 3 years that I felt like people really understood what I was going through. It also felt good to provide an understanding ear for the other members of the group.
I would encourage you to look into getting local support from your peers sooner rather than later if it is available. If not (or in addition to), you might look for a counselor who specializes in grief counseling to help you sort through things. This is not an easy road to go alone.
Best of luck to you.
Nory0 -
IsabelSierraIsabelSierra said:Dont feel lonely...
Hi Courtney, i turned 19 last month and my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer in january!
Everything happened so quickly it took me a while to stop and think what was really going on and i had to get ready for the consequences cause they were coming if i was ready or not!
I get very depressed too at times, theres days im happy theres days im sad and i cry and cry i talk to my close friends but at times i feel like nobody understands what one is going through and how much it hurts us to see out mothers go through what they are going through and the worst part for me is accepting the fact that i CANT do anything to take the pain away from my mom! i started missing school now, i get too depressed to go i usually go to my best friends house and cry to her and her mom who ive known for 7 years now, i feel a bit better after letting my feelings out to them, i dont cry infront of my mom, i dont want her to cry if she sees me u know...i can realate to what your going through, its hard its tough its hurtful its painful its cruel but dont give up because you and your mom are in this together!!! i dont know if your mom had had chemos?? how did u deal with that? my mom just had her first one 3 weeks ago and i think now that she is loosing her hair, its hitting me the worst. i been crying all night since thursday, til lastnight when i got online here!! everyone here cheers u up! they give u good advice and words of encouragement!
dont give up courtney be the inspiration to your mom, be strong! i know its easier said than done but TRY have FAITH and Hope! Things will turn out OKAY!
im here if u need to talk to trust me i understand just how u feel...depression sucks! always try to get distracted i dyed my hair yesterday!i went to a friends house to get distracted n stuff it was good i got pink! lol dont really like it now though! hhaha
ttyl!
take care!
It is nice to know that there is someone who actually does understand what I am going through.
Since my mom has brain cancer there was no use for a regualer Chemo treatment, but she did go through Radiation and has been taking a Chemo pill. She really didn't lose any of her hair, just the front half from where they shaved it when she had surgery. During the time she was going through the Chemo and Radiation was kind of hard on me because her apperance has totally changed, and you can tell that she is weaker then she was. I just look at her sometimes and just start to cry.
Thanks!0 -
cariboucaribou said:Support Group?
Hi Courtney.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's diagnosis. You might check with social workers at the hospital where your mom is getting treated to find out if there are any support groups available in in your area for people your age. There are support groups available for children of cancer patients at the hospital where my husband is getting treated, and also from a non-profit organization that is closer to our home.
My son is only 3, but I decided to start taking him recently and began to attend the spousal caregiver support group at the same time. I wish I had started attending a support group for myself earlier, because it was the first time in over 3 years that I felt like people really understood what I was going through. It also felt good to provide an understanding ear for the other members of the group.
I would encourage you to look into getting local support from your peers sooner rather than later if it is available. If not (or in addition to), you might look for a counselor who specializes in grief counseling to help you sort through things. This is not an easy road to go alone.
Best of luck to you.
Nory
I have looked into support groups, and I have therapist. She has been looking into support groups too. There aren't really any in my area. We are looking into me helping a children's support group. There was one I could go to, but it was during an activity I already commited to. Unfortunately, the group only went on for 3 weeks. We are still trying to find some.
Thank you!0 -
crovn said:
IsabelSierra
It is nice to know that there is someone who actually does understand what I am going through.
Since my mom has brain cancer there was no use for a regualer Chemo treatment, but she did go through Radiation and has been taking a Chemo pill. She really didn't lose any of her hair, just the front half from where they shaved it when she had surgery. During the time she was going through the Chemo and Radiation was kind of hard on me because her apperance has totally changed, and you can tell that she is weaker then she was. I just look at her sometimes and just start to cry.
Thanks!
how does radiation work?? is it similar to chemo??
the doctor said she wasnt going to need radiation but im still curious to know...
my mom is loosing her hair right now and yes, its very very hard especially on me and my mom well like lastnigth my dad and one of my sisters were suggesting for them to just shave her bald already so that she wont have to keep seeing her hair fall little by little i was so mad! i dont want them to cut my moms hair off it hurts me so much knowing my mom will be sad about not having her hair i wish i could like share mine with her!!! i look at my mom and just cry at times too, i cry myself to sleep aswell, i feel so like useless or something i cant help her by taking the pain away at all at times but in times like right now that i feel okay (not depressed) i always say to myself its okay the nausea and vomittin only last 2-3 days its okay. my mom is getting her 2nd chemo next monday im dreading for that day to come! but they changed her chemo dose so i hope the side effects of this one arent as bad as the first one!!
hang in there courtney, theres no harm that last 100 years, so think positive, when you start getting sad do something to distract yourself bake a cake!! find something u like to do a lot that can help keep your mind off depression dont let it beat u!
your mom will be okay and things will get better have FAITH!
im here to talk whenever u want to
ttyl
isabel...0 -
chemoIsabelSierra said:
how does radiation work?? is it similar to chemo??
the doctor said she wasnt going to need radiation but im still curious to know...
my mom is loosing her hair right now and yes, its very very hard especially on me and my mom well like lastnigth my dad and one of my sisters were suggesting for them to just shave her bald already so that she wont have to keep seeing her hair fall little by little i was so mad! i dont want them to cut my moms hair off it hurts me so much knowing my mom will be sad about not having her hair i wish i could like share mine with her!!! i look at my mom and just cry at times too, i cry myself to sleep aswell, i feel so like useless or something i cant help her by taking the pain away at all at times but in times like right now that i feel okay (not depressed) i always say to myself its okay the nausea and vomittin only last 2-3 days its okay. my mom is getting her 2nd chemo next monday im dreading for that day to come! but they changed her chemo dose so i hope the side effects of this one arent as bad as the first one!!
hang in there courtney, theres no harm that last 100 years, so think positive, when you start getting sad do something to distract yourself bake a cake!! find something u like to do a lot that can help keep your mind off depression dont let it beat u!
your mom will be okay and things will get better have FAITH!
im here to talk whenever u want to
ttyl
isabel...
Radiation therapy works by damaging the DNA of cells. The damage is caused by a photon, electron, proton, neutron, or ion beam directly or indirectly ionizing the atoms which make up the DNA chain. (I got that off the interent because I didn't know how to put it in my own words. They usually do some kind of chemo with radiation because it is a more affective way of getting rid of the tumors.
Wow, I bet that was hard on you. If I saw my mom without hair completely, it would freak me out. Luckily, the chemo pill my mom takes doesn't make her lose hair or vomit. I know you can make it through her other chemo treatment!
Thanks for helping me, I am here for you too!
-Courtney0 -
Yes...crovn said:chemo
Radiation therapy works by damaging the DNA of cells. The damage is caused by a photon, electron, proton, neutron, or ion beam directly or indirectly ionizing the atoms which make up the DNA chain. (I got that off the interent because I didn't know how to put it in my own words. They usually do some kind of chemo with radiation because it is a more affective way of getting rid of the tumors.
Wow, I bet that was hard on you. If I saw my mom without hair completely, it would freak me out. Luckily, the chemo pill my mom takes doesn't make her lose hair or vomit. I know you can make it through her other chemo treatment!
Thanks for helping me, I am here for you too!
-Courtney
my moms loosing her hair now, since thursday...when i first started seeing her hair fall off it was very painful but im coping with it better now...and how's your mom doing?
Do u have sisters or brothers?? U should talk to family a lot.!
Ttyl! 0 -
familyIsabelSierra said:Yes...
my moms loosing her hair now, since thursday...when i first started seeing her hair fall off it was very painful but im coping with it better now...and how's your mom doing?
Do u have sisters or brothers?? U should talk to family a lot.!
Ttyl!
That is good that you are coping with it! One thing I have struggled with a lot is coping. I developed some not so good coping mechanisms. That is part of what I am working through now.
To tell you the truth, I really have no idea how she is doing. I know that must sound crazy, but for me she is different then before so it is hard for me to see if she is making progress. To me she looks weak, but my dad said she is getting strength. I have noticed she is walking better, she went through a phase where she would just fall. It was scary.
I have a sister, but we have never really talked about stuff like this. She has a new boyfriend, and really has no time to talk about things. I have tried a couple times, but it doesn't last long.
- Courtney:)0 -
Dont loose Hopecrovn said:family
That is good that you are coping with it! One thing I have struggled with a lot is coping. I developed some not so good coping mechanisms. That is part of what I am working through now.
To tell you the truth, I really have no idea how she is doing. I know that must sound crazy, but for me she is different then before so it is hard for me to see if she is making progress. To me she looks weak, but my dad said she is getting strength. I have noticed she is walking better, she went through a phase where she would just fall. It was scary.
I have a sister, but we have never really talked about stuff like this. She has a new boyfriend, and really has no time to talk about things. I have tried a couple times, but it doesn't last long.
- Courtney:)
That things will get better....well thats good that shes walking my mom too was having trouble walking, she was given a wheelchair!
But shes walking better now too.
i have 2 sisters, they are both older than me one is 27 and the other is 24...i dont really talk to either one of them about how i feel and stuff...its hard for me to talk to others about it idk i feel like they just wont understand...but it has made my family more united thats one thing...i was starting to get distracted with a boyy but i dont have time for a boyfriend right now and even if i did i dont want one hahaha...my mom is my prioroty i mean dont get me wrong i still have time to myself or time with friends but i know my priorities and im sure your mom appreciated every single thing you do for her!
Dont give up on your mom Courtney! She wont give up for u! 0 -
FaithIsabelSierra said:Dont loose Hope
That things will get better....well thats good that shes walking my mom too was having trouble walking, she was given a wheelchair!
But shes walking better now too.
i have 2 sisters, they are both older than me one is 27 and the other is 24...i dont really talk to either one of them about how i feel and stuff...its hard for me to talk to others about it idk i feel like they just wont understand...but it has made my family more united thats one thing...i was starting to get distracted with a boyy but i dont have time for a boyfriend right now and even if i did i dont want one hahaha...my mom is my prioroty i mean dont get me wrong i still have time to myself or time with friends but i know my priorities and im sure your mom appreciated every single thing you do for her!
Dont give up on your mom Courtney! She wont give up for u!
Believe me I have never given up on my mom. She means the world to me, and I think that is why I have been having a hard time. I get what you are saying about feeling like people won't understand. My friend asked why I don't have a boyfriend right now a couple days ago, but for me I don't think a guy could possibly handle my situation. There is a lot more to this whole thing, and it would take a pretty special guy to understand that. I have found one really good friend though during this whole thing. I know things have to get better eventually.
ttyl
-Courtney0 -
Thats Good...crovn said:Faith
Believe me I have never given up on my mom. She means the world to me, and I think that is why I have been having a hard time. I get what you are saying about feeling like people won't understand. My friend asked why I don't have a boyfriend right now a couple days ago, but for me I don't think a guy could possibly handle my situation. There is a lot more to this whole thing, and it would take a pretty special guy to understand that. I have found one really good friend though during this whole thing. I know things have to get better eventually.
ttyl
-Courtney
i know same here...i mean guys come and go and like i tell my mom i dont need a guy to be gettin mad because i cant hang out with him, i spend all my time with my mom and when im not with her im at my best friends house doing things to get me distracted...and im glad you do have someone u can talk to i think in times like this is when u realize who your true friends are and who really is there for u...i saw u said theres no nearby support groups by where u live...what state do u live in??
I live in L.A!!0 -
true friendsIsabelSierra said:Thats Good...
i know same here...i mean guys come and go and like i tell my mom i dont need a guy to be gettin mad because i cant hang out with him, i spend all my time with my mom and when im not with her im at my best friends house doing things to get me distracted...and im glad you do have someone u can talk to i think in times like this is when u realize who your true friends are and who really is there for u...i saw u said theres no nearby support groups by where u live...what state do u live in??
I live in L.A!!
I live in Georgia. You definitely do find out who your true friends are during this. I had a bestfriend who was not a good friend at all. I tried to talk to her about things going on with my mom, and she turned the whole situation around about her. I eventually told her I didn't want to be friends with her, I realized who she really was. So, this I guess could be good for me in a way. It opens my eyes to see who people really are.
ttyl:)
- Courtney0 -
I am a little bit older than
I am a little bit older than you -- 28 years old --but there still aren't very many caregivers in my age range. It's a tough road because it's so hard to watch my Mom going through what she's going and sometimes I feel like I don't even matter anymore in my own life. Hang in there and I hope you're able to find the support you need. It seems like this place and a therapist are good places to start.0 -
Even though there is an agecncrddaughter said:I am a little bit older than
I am a little bit older than you -- 28 years old --but there still aren't very many caregivers in my age range. It's a tough road because it's so hard to watch my Mom going through what she's going and sometimes I feel like I don't even matter anymore in my own life. Hang in there and I hope you're able to find the support you need. It seems like this place and a therapist are good places to start.
Even though there is an age gap, we probably do feel a lot of the same things. I completly understand what if feels like to not feel like you matter anymore. To tell you the truth, I feel like my whole life right now is centered around cancer. I don't want my life to be just about cancer. You hang in there too! If you need to talk, I am here.0 -
Hey Courtney!crovn said:true friends
I live in Georgia. You definitely do find out who your true friends are during this. I had a bestfriend who was not a good friend at all. I tried to talk to her about things going on with my mom, and she turned the whole situation around about her. I eventually told her I didn't want to be friends with her, I realized who she really was. So, this I guess could be good for me in a way. It opens my eyes to see who people really are.
ttyl:)
- Courtney
How are u doing??
Hope things are well!
Isabel0
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