Venting

Options
tally
tally Member Posts: 48
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I had my first treatment - TAC - on March 25 and this past Thursday my hair started coming out. Friday I had it cut to 1/8 inch. Saturday it kept coming out and its very patchy in places. I remembered a previous post from a pink sister and she used a lint roller. Let me tell you, tape really works. And once my hair was cut, it really wasn't a big deal. Friday was a very emotional day as my employer of 10 years informed me he was hiring someone to do my job "so I can concentrate on getting better". The only time I have missed work is the week after my treatment and I still worked as hard as I always have when I returned. I even took calls to help anyway I could while I was out. So, there goes my paycheck. He wouldn't lay me off so I could at least draw unemployment. He said I could come in and work a few hours to train whoever he hires "temporarily" to do my job. And where I live you can forget short term disability. It takes many months and you either get well or die. I am so angry as I have been so very loyal to my job. I work in the medical field and I always go the extra mile with our patients. My job was in no way putting my health at risk. I am just so angry right now. I feel like I have been stabbed in the back.

Comments

  • Sharon40
    Sharon40 Member Posts: 93
    #2
    Options
    so sorry
    This just stinks! One more thing to bring you down. I wish I could say don't let it, but I am angry for you! I hope your boss was just trying in his way to help YOU any way he could. I think talking with him would be a good idea. Life is hard enough during this time, you don't need stress!

    On the other hand, maybe you should enjoy the fact that someone else can do some work while you rest, relax and heal. Your body really could use the time to "concentrate on getting better"! I continued to work all through my treatments, but took off the time I needed. I think if I had slowed down some more, my body would have healed a little faster.

    I hope things work out for you. Keep us posted!
    Feel free to vent anytime!
  • prv
    prv Member Posts: 107
    #3
    Options
    Sharon40 said:

    so sorry
    This just stinks! One more thing to bring you down. I wish I could say don't let it, but I am angry for you! I hope your boss was just trying in his way to help YOU any way he could. I think talking with him would be a good idea. Life is hard enough during this time, you don't need stress!

    On the other hand, maybe you should enjoy the fact that someone else can do some work while you rest, relax and heal. Your body really could use the time to "concentrate on getting better"! I continued to work all through my treatments, but took off the time I needed. I think if I had slowed down some more, my body would have healed a little faster.

    I hope things work out for you. Keep us posted!
    Feel free to vent anytime!

    me too!
    I know how you feel! I worked for nine months right after surgery (double mastectomies) during chemo and rads and was laid off one month after I finished. Needless to say I dragged myself to work during this time even when I was not 100% and did my work because i needed the money and was pretty dedicated to my job. I only took time off to have the actual chemo (used sick and vacation days). I am a single mom too! Now I have three months to find a job before my paycheck stops in a tough field where people are getting 75 applications for one position and there are only about four advertised openings in the entire New England area(where I live)!I too am in the medical field (a pathologist). I Do reccommend networking, though. I called an old friend and colleague and of course they had just filled a spot at her place, but she said she would ask her boss for ideas. Come to find out her boss has a top position in the field (I really had no idea!) and asked for my cv/references and she has helped notify several professionals in the area about me. I have not yet secured employment (only two days since I was laid off) but I do not feel the dispair I did when I first found out.I don't know if I will get a job from this or if I will once again feel that dispair, but I now have a little more hope and ask God to bless these kind ladies who took so much of their valuable time and expertise to help me. There really are wonderful people out there. Someone will help you if you ask -call people up and network when you are ready to work if your current boss will not cooperate. Look on the internet and journals related to your field. I also have a wonderful cancer support group that has helped me (besides the gals here!)
    And always remember - your health is the most important thing. You can always find another job. And God bless you,too!
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #4
    Options
    prv said:

    me too!
    I know how you feel! I worked for nine months right after surgery (double mastectomies) during chemo and rads and was laid off one month after I finished. Needless to say I dragged myself to work during this time even when I was not 100% and did my work because i needed the money and was pretty dedicated to my job. I only took time off to have the actual chemo (used sick and vacation days). I am a single mom too! Now I have three months to find a job before my paycheck stops in a tough field where people are getting 75 applications for one position and there are only about four advertised openings in the entire New England area(where I live)!I too am in the medical field (a pathologist). I Do reccommend networking, though. I called an old friend and colleague and of course they had just filled a spot at her place, but she said she would ask her boss for ideas. Come to find out her boss has a top position in the field (I really had no idea!) and asked for my cv/references and she has helped notify several professionals in the area about me. I have not yet secured employment (only two days since I was laid off) but I do not feel the dispair I did when I first found out.I don't know if I will get a job from this or if I will once again feel that dispair, but I now have a little more hope and ask God to bless these kind ladies who took so much of their valuable time and expertise to help me. There really are wonderful people out there. Someone will help you if you ask -call people up and network when you are ready to work if your current boss will not cooperate. Look on the internet and journals related to your field. I also have a wonderful cancer support group that has helped me (besides the gals here!)
    And always remember - your health is the most important thing. You can always find another job. And God bless you,too!

    about the hair
    Sorry for your pain, loosing one's hair isn't one of the greatest things to have live through. It was bad enough before loosing hair that people thought I was a guy but then walking around bald escalated that. I shaved my head and didn't wear wigs or hats because they were just plain uncomfortable and in the heat of the summer I still have a hard time not shaving my hair off because it spells relief.
    Now I see more women walking around bald and it is great that there have been beautiful women before me shave their heads for their own styles. It isn't easy watching our bodies change and I now know what it is like to have to WORK, and I found working hard was my true blessing.
    Hang in there I am here to say it gets better and if you are lucky enough youu will feel better than you have ever known. I finally did.
    My hair came back nothing like it use to be. Now I have my fathers hair thicker and mouse brown instead of the blonde I loved so much. My son shaved his head same time I did mine. Don't get excited it was not in solidarity with my bald head he just spent the money for his hair then got the same kid who shaved my head to do his. My son still mourns the loss of his blonde hair he too is dark now. The kid that shaved my head was my son's friend and I was the second friend's mother he had shaved due to cancer. He was good at it since he shaved his own.

    Getting it out and off our chests is the very best thing we can do...
    Being good to ourselves is it
    Tara
  • Skeezie
    Skeezie Member Posts: 586 Member
    #5
    Options
    prv said:

    me too!
    I know how you feel! I worked for nine months right after surgery (double mastectomies) during chemo and rads and was laid off one month after I finished. Needless to say I dragged myself to work during this time even when I was not 100% and did my work because i needed the money and was pretty dedicated to my job. I only took time off to have the actual chemo (used sick and vacation days). I am a single mom too! Now I have three months to find a job before my paycheck stops in a tough field where people are getting 75 applications for one position and there are only about four advertised openings in the entire New England area(where I live)!I too am in the medical field (a pathologist). I Do reccommend networking, though. I called an old friend and colleague and of course they had just filled a spot at her place, but she said she would ask her boss for ideas. Come to find out her boss has a top position in the field (I really had no idea!) and asked for my cv/references and she has helped notify several professionals in the area about me. I have not yet secured employment (only two days since I was laid off) but I do not feel the dispair I did when I first found out.I don't know if I will get a job from this or if I will once again feel that dispair, but I now have a little more hope and ask God to bless these kind ladies who took so much of their valuable time and expertise to help me. There really are wonderful people out there. Someone will help you if you ask -call people up and network when you are ready to work if your current boss will not cooperate. Look on the internet and journals related to your field. I also have a wonderful cancer support group that has helped me (besides the gals here!)
    And always remember - your health is the most important thing. You can always find another job. And God bless you,too!

    Hi Tally,
    You must be furious and heart sick over your employer giving you the boot. But the unemployment office, NOT your boss decides who gets unemployment. I was a claims examiner at the Michigan Unemployment for 11 years, I decided who got unemployment or not if it wasn't a layoff. Has your doc said you can't work? Is your employer putting you on a sick leave of his own making? If you have enough work hours you would qualify for the Family Leave Act (but no pay unless your employer's policies have a paid or partial paid sick leave) This sounds like a forced "layoff" to me. Do you have any short term or long term disability benefits at work? Did he say you could still come into work (after you have trained this "temp") whenever you felt like it? Or not until you are finished with treatment? In order to be eligible for unemployment you must be "able, available and seeking full-time work". If you are too sick for work you don't qualify. I am aware you will not be hired by anyone while under treatment, but you still have to meet those requirements regardless. I'm assuming there is no union contract protecting you.

    I am retired and was thankful I did not have to worry about a job while under treatment as so many on this board do because after my "honeymoon" treatment (the first one) I was too sick to have worked maybe only one or two days a month. But we are all different and some are able to work all the way thru missing only a day or two here and there right after treatment. What I'm saying is you may be grateful as time goes by not to have to worry about dragging yourself into work and trying to keep up.

    When all of this is over (and it does end and life gets great again) you may find yourself in a new job that is ten times better than the one you currently have. But you file for benefits (after you are no longer working) anyway, as I said the Unemployment Office, not your employer makes that decision...and your employer will have to defend his position as to why he gave you a forced layoff and you will have to bring proof that you are able to work full time.

    I hope you continue to feel good after the first week of your treatments and can come to terms with this work situation...I would be furious too.

    Good luck, I hope you get your unemployment...that would really be true justice! Keep us posted.

    Hugs, Judy :-)
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    #6
    Options
    Skeezie said:

    Hi Tally,
    You must be furious and heart sick over your employer giving you the boot. But the unemployment office, NOT your boss decides who gets unemployment. I was a claims examiner at the Michigan Unemployment for 11 years, I decided who got unemployment or not if it wasn't a layoff. Has your doc said you can't work? Is your employer putting you on a sick leave of his own making? If you have enough work hours you would qualify for the Family Leave Act (but no pay unless your employer's policies have a paid or partial paid sick leave) This sounds like a forced "layoff" to me. Do you have any short term or long term disability benefits at work? Did he say you could still come into work (after you have trained this "temp") whenever you felt like it? Or not until you are finished with treatment? In order to be eligible for unemployment you must be "able, available and seeking full-time work". If you are too sick for work you don't qualify. I am aware you will not be hired by anyone while under treatment, but you still have to meet those requirements regardless. I'm assuming there is no union contract protecting you.

    I am retired and was thankful I did not have to worry about a job while under treatment as so many on this board do because after my "honeymoon" treatment (the first one) I was too sick to have worked maybe only one or two days a month. But we are all different and some are able to work all the way thru missing only a day or two here and there right after treatment. What I'm saying is you may be grateful as time goes by not to have to worry about dragging yourself into work and trying to keep up.

    When all of this is over (and it does end and life gets great again) you may find yourself in a new job that is ten times better than the one you currently have. But you file for benefits (after you are no longer working) anyway, as I said the Unemployment Office, not your employer makes that decision...and your employer will have to defend his position as to why he gave you a forced layoff and you will have to bring proof that you are able to work full time.

    I hope you continue to feel good after the first week of your treatments and can come to terms with this work situation...I would be furious too.

    Good luck, I hope you get your unemployment...that would really be true justice! Keep us posted.

    Hugs, Judy :-)

    Hi Tally
    As a cancer patient
    Hi Tally

    As a cancer patient you fall under the American with Disability Act. Check with them to see if you can get your job back or financial help. Go to unemployment as well.

    Let us know what happens
    Sher
  • ms_independent
    ms_independent Member Posts: 214
    #7
    Options
    ? not legal?
    I don't think it's legal for him to do that. I'm not positive who you go to about it. It sounds like he is trying to avoid paying disability and wants to keep future insurance costs down. I would check with The Department of Labor (in yellow pages under US (federal) Government). If your cancer center has a social worker, she/he should be able to find out for you or direct you to who could help. Your oncologist (or office staff) may also know---I bet you are not his first patient to have a problem like this. Social Security Administration may be able to help you or direct you to who can.
    I hate this has happened to you. It's not fair! Fighting cancer is enough by itself. wishing you the best and a favorable resolution (quickly).
    Hugs, El
  • cindycflynn
    cindycflynn Member Posts: 1,132 Member
    #8
    Options
    Tally
    I'm so sorry this happened to you.

    It does sound to me like your employer is trying to do something that may not be legal. If they employ at least 15 employees, you would be covered by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), and if they have at least 50 employees, you would also be covered by the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), both of which should protect your job status.

    If you think you might be able to work with your boss, try talking to him first to see if he will change his mind. If that won't work and you are covered by either or both of these laws, I would suggest calling the Labor Board for assistance.

    Take care,
    Cindy

Discussion Boards