Too stupid to make up

Sharon_D
Sharon_D Member Posts: 55
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Ran into a neighbor this weekend. Conversation went something like this...

Neighbor.. Did you hear about Tom?
Me... No, what about Tom?
Neighbor .. his cancer is back. Only been six months since he was declared cancer free and now it's back. (didn't mention that it was lung cancer and he still lights one cigarette off the other and smokes CONSTANTLY) Really bad. Probably won't live long. I hate to think about losing good on Tom. Shame ain't it? You know how cancer is ..... explaining in depth HIS version of the details of living with cancer ....

Finally he shut up and looked at me and said .. YOU had cancer didn't you?

At this point, I want to wrap my fingers around his throat and squeeze real tight while shaking violently and saying YES, YOU BLOOMING IDIOT ! I HAVE CANCER. WHAT DID YOU THINK, MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO SHAVE MY HEAD BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS CUTE ????????????

I told my husband about the conversation and he said .. Well, you know, he was born ignorant and he just never outgrew it!

I finally had to laugh.

Why do people feel compelled to tell us the most grizzly, horrible details that they can imagine OR make up? Like we haven't already thought about it???

Comments

  • TraciInLA
    TraciInLA Member Posts: 1,994 Member
    #2
    Oh, Sharon
    You do just have to laugh, don't you?

    I would have gone with "F***ING MORON" instead of "BLOOMING IDIOT," but to each her own. :-)

    I, for one, wouldn't have believed some of the Stupid Things People Say stories we all tell before I experienced them for myself. And yes, the Grizzly, Horrible Details one is one of the worst.

    The first and only response I got from one of my co-workers when I told him I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer was:

    "Oh, my aunt had that. Everyone loved her so much -- there were so many people at her funeral."

    Traci
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #3
    TraciInLA said:

    Oh, Sharon
    You do just have to laugh, don't you?

    I would have gone with "F***ING MORON" instead of "BLOOMING IDIOT," but to each her own. :-)

    I, for one, wouldn't have believed some of the Stupid Things People Say stories we all tell before I experienced them for myself. And yes, the Grizzly, Horrible Details one is one of the worst.

    The first and only response I got from one of my co-workers when I told him I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer was:

    "Oh, my aunt had that. Everyone loved her so much -- there were so many people at her funeral."

    Traci

    A lady sat next to be in
    A lady sat next to be in church the other day, asking me what kind of cancer I had. Then told me of the people she knew who died from it, told me was the nuclear power plant that did it, said she prayed for all people with cancer which was nice. I just laughed, I dont know what they are thinking. I have posted this before, but the worst one was the insurance company nurse who had my info wrong (surgical date and dc) then told me she used to be a hospice nurse but left because a good friend got diagnosed and died. And I needed to know this? Why? I guess because I am a nurse she thought it wouldnt bother me. people are stupid. But the other day I said something stupid to someone about something else, so I guess we can all be stupid sometimes.
    Sorry you had that experience though.
  • Youcandothis
    Youcandothis Member Posts: 79
    #4
    carkris said:

    A lady sat next to be in
    A lady sat next to be in church the other day, asking me what kind of cancer I had. Then told me of the people she knew who died from it, told me was the nuclear power plant that did it, said she prayed for all people with cancer which was nice. I just laughed, I dont know what they are thinking. I have posted this before, but the worst one was the insurance company nurse who had my info wrong (surgical date and dc) then told me she used to be a hospice nurse but left because a good friend got diagnosed and died. And I needed to know this? Why? I guess because I am a nurse she thought it wouldnt bother me. people are stupid. But the other day I said something stupid to someone about something else, so I guess we can all be stupid sometimes.
    Sorry you had that experience though.

    On the bright side
    I had two uplifting experiences re chemo and hair loss. I wore a kerchief for the warmth as it was a year ago last dec when I had my last treatment. I was at a sporting event and a lady I know casually came up to me full of concern: "I know what those scarves mean how are you can I do anything"? She was so sweet and supportive it just made my day! Then, a full year later, I was in a concession line at the same event (we have season tickets) and a total stranger told me,"I'm so happy to see you looking so well. I watched you all last year and prayed for you.". Needless to say I was struck dumb, could hardly get my thanks out through my tears. So for every insensitive clod who thinks he's establishing a connection with us by showing how much he knows about what we go through, I think there are two or three kind souls who are quietly sending us spiritual support and active well-wishes. We may never see or hear them, but they sustain us as truly as we sustain one another! Anyone struggling today, this post is particularly for you!
  • Sher43009
    Sher43009 Member Posts: 602 Member
    #5
    Youcandothis said:

    On the bright side
    I had two uplifting experiences re chemo and hair loss. I wore a kerchief for the warmth as it was a year ago last dec when I had my last treatment. I was at a sporting event and a lady I know casually came up to me full of concern: "I know what those scarves mean how are you can I do anything"? She was so sweet and supportive it just made my day! Then, a full year later, I was in a concession line at the same event (we have season tickets) and a total stranger told me,"I'm so happy to see you looking so well. I watched you all last year and prayed for you.". Needless to say I was struck dumb, could hardly get my thanks out through my tears. So for every insensitive clod who thinks he's establishing a connection with us by showing how much he knows about what we go through, I think there are two or three kind souls who are quietly sending us spiritual support and active well-wishes. We may never see or hear them, but they sustain us as truly as we sustain one another! Anyone struggling today, this post is particularly for you!

    Thank you for sharing this.
    Thank you for sharing this. Goes to prove there are angels amoung us.
  • ms_independent
    ms_independent Member Posts: 214
    #6
    Youcandothis said:

    On the bright side
    I had two uplifting experiences re chemo and hair loss. I wore a kerchief for the warmth as it was a year ago last dec when I had my last treatment. I was at a sporting event and a lady I know casually came up to me full of concern: "I know what those scarves mean how are you can I do anything"? She was so sweet and supportive it just made my day! Then, a full year later, I was in a concession line at the same event (we have season tickets) and a total stranger told me,"I'm so happy to see you looking so well. I watched you all last year and prayed for you.". Needless to say I was struck dumb, could hardly get my thanks out through my tears. So for every insensitive clod who thinks he's establishing a connection with us by showing how much he knows about what we go through, I think there are two or three kind souls who are quietly sending us spiritual support and active well-wishes. We may never see or hear them, but they sustain us as truly as we sustain one another! Anyone struggling today, this post is particularly for you!

    how wonderful
    You never know where your support will come from. People you expect it from are unable to give it and people you never expect it from will give it.

    El
  • e_hope
    e_hope Member Posts: 370
    #7
    sad
    sadly... we have all have had these experiences...

    people are just idiots...

    I am sure, everyone on here could ramble for hours on the stupid things people have said to us...

    best thing ... **** to us.. we all get a laugh about the ignorance of the human race sometimes

    heck I was just asked if I was going to let my hair grow back.. yea, I want to be a 37 year old bald woman... and was asked... why did you ask for the chemo that didn't cause hair loss,... and finally... god your hair is taking a long time to grow in...

    not worth my energy... or yours
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #8
    e_hope said:

    sad
    sadly... we have all have had these experiences...

    people are just idiots...

    I am sure, everyone on here could ramble for hours on the stupid things people have said to us...

    best thing ... **** to us.. we all get a laugh about the ignorance of the human race sometimes

    heck I was just asked if I was going to let my hair grow back.. yea, I want to be a 37 year old bald woman... and was asked... why did you ask for the chemo that didn't cause hair loss,... and finally... god your hair is taking a long time to grow in...

    not worth my energy... or yours

    you Can Do this
    What a wonderful story.
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #9
    I know what you mean. Right
    I know what you mean. Right after my diagnosis as I was so terrified that I literally could not eat or sleep, I was talking with my boss on the phone, she starts telling me about her husband's uncle who had cancer that kept outgrowing his chemo and he eventually died. Thanks a lot!! Some people just don't think.
  • ms.sunshine
    ms.sunshine Member Posts: 707 Member
    #10
    ms_independent said:

    how wonderful
    You never know where your support will come from. People you expect it from are unable to give it and people you never expect it from will give it.

    El

    ms independent you are so
    ms independent you are so right

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