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ArturoScolamacchia
Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2010

Hello, my name is Arturo Scolamacchia and I'm an Airman in the USAF. In mid november my mother was diagnosed with Colon cancer that had also spread to her liver. I was told this news by her when I took leave the following december around christmas. What a gift right? Anyway, me and my mother had always been close. You could definatly call me a mamma's boy and i'd agree openly. It is now April, I'm 19 years old and I am staioned in Osan AB, South Korea and am thousands of miles away from her. We communicate almost everyday through skype which is difficult because of the time difference (i'm 13 hours ahead). She just told me anout an hour ago that she was going to go back to Italy to be with her family and a more advanced cancer center. She also told me the doctors said that she had maybe a year left. Right now as I'm typing this, I don't really feel sad or angry because I can't afford to. My duty is more important and the mission must be accomplished. So I try to put aside my emotions so they don't affect my performance. It's not easy. Especially when I see reminders everywhere. What I'm trying to do is just let all the other victims of this hellish experience know that you are never alone. And I don't just mean others as in other people with parents who are dying, but I mean the actual victims. I'm going to be here in Osan for a year and hopefully I will be able to take leave to see her one more time. Sometimes I think I'm lucky that I don't have to see her this way all the time. Like I pretend that she's all better when not on the computer. But the truth of the matter is that the next time I see my mother she'll probably be gone. If any of you out there can meet, see, or hold that person dear to you please, for me, just do it. If you're reading this post, Get up and hug your mom or dad or whoever. Get a recording of them and make sure you're in it. They are still there. Evenif they can't hear you or see you. Or even if they're already gone, visit they're place of rest. I just regret possibly never holding her ever again so I want to make sure no one makes my mistake. As for me, I'll be alright. My mother is strong. Her cancer might take her life but her spirit cannot be broken. She constantly tells me that the thing she fears most about her death is me and how I will handle it. She worries more about me that herself. I made a promise to her that no matter what the outcome of this nightmare, I will always keep my future as my top priority. I feel so selfish saying this but she forced me to swear on her on her life and ultimately on her grave. And like her I will not break. She will pass on now or later, either way I will take what she has taught me and surive. She is and always will be in my heart and my mind. But not as my mother who is dying of cancer, but as my mom slapping my behind if I even think about doing anything stupid, crying out of pride as I strive to rise above, and smiling as I live my life in her memory taking her spirtit with me wherever I go. Thank you for taking the time to read this. Now excuse me, I have a UCI (Unit Compliance Inspection) all next week so I need my sleep. Gotta impress the Commander. Good luck and God Bless.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1614
Joined: Aug 2009

Posted twice. See below.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1614
Joined: Aug 2009

What a nice tribute to your mother! First, thank you for your service. Next, I am sorry you are now a part of the cancer family. It must be hard being so far away. My husband passed away from colon cancer in Oct. He lived and fought the cancer for six years. He, too, was stage 4 with mets to the liver when diagnosed. Everything we read or heard at the time was that he might make it for 2 years. What I'm saying is that no one knows how long your mother will be here.Celebrate those times when you can communicate. Take care of yourself. Fay

ArturoScolamacchia
Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2010

Thanks, I'll try.

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

The USAF would give you compassionate leave if you asked for it. I know first-hand. In fact, they would insist on it. I know first-hand.

In fact, I intend to talk to my friends still in the military, to see what they can do to get you sent back to the states (my son-in-law is at the Pentagon, so this should not be a problem).

Hang in there, airman.

Joe

ArturoScolamacchia
Posts: 6
Joined: Apr 2010

Thank you for your advice. I'm going to talk to my First Sergeant on monday about this matter. I just need for my mother to move back to Italy first so I don't get sent on leave while their busy packing and moving. I appreciate you help sir.

bluerose's picture
bluerose
Posts: 1089
Joined: Jul 2009

At only 19 years of age I would say that you have had to mature even faster than normal what with being called into Duty for your country and now dealing with cancer as well. I know for sure that challenges in life definitely do make you stronger as you are no doubt finding in spades. I am so sorry that your Mother is facing cancer and treatments but I just wanted to compliment her on raising such a mature and strong son such as you. You have a great gift in expressing your inner thoughts and feelings and that is a great gift to all of us on this site as is your message to appreciate those near to everyone of us.

I am a 20 year survivor of non hodgkins lymphoma as I said before do know that challenges make you stronger indeed so keep pushing on, as you doubtlessly plan to do, and thank you for your service to your country. You are a brave young man.

Take good care of yourself.

Blessings,
Bluerose

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