My Mom Is Now Terminal

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dragonflymom
dragonflymom Member Posts: 46
edited March 2014 in Esophageal Cancer #1
I'm not sure what to say other than my mom got word tonight that her cancer is now terminal. The surgery they did last week (the parallel stent) is causing complications and it's very bad. They are going to attempt to help it tomorrow with a procedure but this is basically the end. She isn't even getting her PET scan done tomorrow because they said it is the least of her worries right now. I'm not really sure what to do. I have no idea what to tell my 7-year-old, he is going to be so upset. I talked to my mom tonight after my dad told me the news and I told her I didn't know what to say to him and she said that she doesn't want to leave her babies. That was so very hard for me to hear. So I'm not sure what the next few days or weeks will have in store for us but the end result will be us saying goodbye to my mom. It kills me to say that. She is like my best friend. I'm just so sad.

Amy

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  • unclaw2002
    unclaw2002 Member Posts: 599
    #2
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    I'm not sure what to say ---
    I'm not sure what to say --- did you ever get a second opinion? I am not sure where she is being treated . . . if she says she isn't ready to go perhaps and wants to fight what can be done to extend her life ---- remember she isn't a statistic but your loved one. I feel your pain in hearing this type of news but I do know other people who were told that a cancer was terminal and are still here loving and enjoying each other. And don't underestimate the power of prayer and miracles.

    Lots of prayers and hugs,

    Cindy
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    #3
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    This comment has been removed by the Moderator
  • K_ann1015
    K_ann1015 Member Posts: 500
    #4
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    Amy,
    I am so sorry. We all
    Amy,

    I am so sorry. We all fear those words like terminal. And since I have not been through it yet with a close family member, I can not tell you that "I know how you feel", I can only imagine... Some here on this site DO know how you feel though.

    I do know that your son is going to take cues from you. If there is any way for you guys to try to enjoy the time left with your mom---each and every day as much as possible---that will probably better for your family than falling into despair. But I know it is easier said than done at times. He will probably have questions and be scared. Your mom also will be scared. I have heard people say this is the hardest thing they have ever had to do (loosing a parent). But your mom is so lucky to have you guys close by...

    stay in touch
    kim
  • Tina Blondek
    Tina Blondek Member Posts: 1,500 Member
    #5
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    K_ann1015 said:

    Amy,
    I am so sorry. We all
    Amy,

    I am so sorry. We all fear those words like terminal. And since I have not been through it yet with a close family member, I can not tell you that "I know how you feel", I can only imagine... Some here on this site DO know how you feel though.

    I do know that your son is going to take cues from you. If there is any way for you guys to try to enjoy the time left with your mom---each and every day as much as possible---that will probably better for your family than falling into despair. But I know it is easier said than done at times. He will probably have questions and be scared. Your mom also will be scared. I have heard people say this is the hardest thing they have ever had to do (loosing a parent). But your mom is so lucky to have you guys close by...

    stay in touch
    kim

    Your Mom
    Hello dear Amy and Mom,
    You know that I have recently been through what you are going through with my dad. His drs. never did say he was terminal, but dad knew in his heart that he was. I have a 10 yr old daughter. It was hard to tell her, but she was there with us through this whole journey. One of the hardest times was when she had to see her "pop" in the hospital. The cancer floor really scared her. She cried the night he passed away, but after that she was the strongest one in our family. She was our "rock". She would tell us "come on, stop crying, we knew how sick pop was, we knew this was going to happen".

    You will be surprised how much our kids know. Just know that you as a caregiver have done a wonderful job. You have been there, she knows that. You have all done all that you can.
    The only other thing possibly would be to get a second opinion. That is up to you. I would let your mom make that decision. Your are in one of the best hospitals.

    I will be praying for you your mom and your family. Please keep in touch.
    Tina

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