I was diagnosed with neuroblastoma at about 9 months and went into remission about two years later. I don't remember anything from my stay in the hospital. I don't remember anything at all because i was so young.
When people first see my scars (one of which closely resembles a c-section scar and since this whole "16 & pregnant" phenomenom well yeah you can guess) they always ask wht its from.
When i tell them there is always an "awwww" and then a "but you don't have it now do you?"
I usually laugh and say "no" because that is the funniest question ever
But then the annoying questions come in.
"What was it like?"
"Did it hurt?"
"Where was it?"
"What happened to you?"
"What's this scar from...and that one...and that one...etc?"
The truth is. I have no clue!
I don't remember!
My parents don't like to talk about it because it was a difficult time and I wouldn't want to bring it up now because they almost recently relived this situation with my older sister. (it was lupus. and this is the only situation in which i would say THANK GOD FOR THAT)
So finally my question is:
Does anyone of you ever feel like you're not a cancer survivor?
I know that sounds weird but adults are always saying "oh you must have been so strong" and "so brave". Well, I didn't do anything! I don't remember it and when people say they "fought cancer" I just feel like my family did, not me.
I don't know i always feel so weird saying i'm a cancer survivor when I think of that term as such an honor to be called. I didn't do anything to call myself a survivor. I sat there and cried. And did what the doctors and nurses and parents made me do.
They should have all the recognition, not me.
Anyone else ever felt like that?