Feb 27, 2010 - 1:54 am
This is starting sooner than I expected, but of course not a total surprise. 8th treatment today and the sides of my tongue feel a bit numb and food is losing its flavor. I also notice I'm getting a bit cranky - short tempered, irritable, not very nice - especially when I am getting asked a barrage of questions like "how do you feel?" and "what can I do?" from very well meaning people (friends, family). This is quite the lonely road. I have no idea what to say to people when I'm asked these questions and I'm tried of giving the same report over and over.
This, I've realized, is a marathon, my first. And I see that my preparation for it has been when I have sucked it up in the past - school, work, life - just to get through a bad day. I am drawing on those experiences now and making good use of them. Tonight was a case in point.
I'm strapped to the table under the mask (not yet use to the claustrophobic feeling) focusing on my breath, counting the passes, counting with the music of my CD (Traveling Wilbury's tonight - "I'm so tired of being lonely . . ") when I get this intense itch on my right shin.
Now, if I move, I risk having to skip the treatment because I will get out of alignment. So I go right into the itch, feel every microscopic nerve cell screaming for attention, knowing there was no way I was going to jeopardize tonight's treatment for a little itch. There was a lot of power in that and in a practical kind of way very meditative. Maybe a little strange too.
Oh, another thing - chills and hot flashes. Anyone get those during rads? I start shivering (about 30 minutes after rads) and now boiling (about 3 hours later).