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stage 4 melanoma

sadspouse
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2010

my wife is just 40 yrs old and has stage 4 melanoma it is in every lymth node in all limbs and small spot in left lung, and in thyroid glands. Her right breast is 3 times bigger than the left. The doctor is looking to see if any trial studies are out there but it doesnt look good. Anyone out thier know of anything

Barbara53's picture
Barbara53
Posts: 659
Joined: Aug 2009

I am so sorry to hear of your wife's diagnosis. I know nothing about her form of cancer, but stage 4 of anything is not good.

If the doctors have nothing to offer her, don't forget that she is not through living. A special kind of living can take place when one's days are limited and precious. Reassure her that you'll be there for her no matter what. Love is the greatest comforter of all.

sadspouse
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2010

thank you, we go see the doctor tomorrow to find out if he found any trial studies. i have a feeling that he is going to try a mix of chemo drugs. but we will see. again thanks again.

sadspouse
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2010

trial study docs say that she is not able to do trials because she is not physicaly able. She started carboplatin and taxol last thursday and is having it real rough now she just got 2 pints of blood yesterday and seems to be more sick and weak then she was before. Deb as said that if the side affects get any worse that she wants to quit the chemo and call hospis. I told her that I would suport her. This is real rough for me it tears me up to see her suffer so much. The cancer has spread so fast since 5/2009 and IL2, DTIC, and now not to able to do trial studies(3) and these current chemos are making it rough for her. I have been off work now for the past 5 weeks and the famliy says it hurts them to see her so bad off (but I dont need to complain about that). Please keep us in your prayers and

Trapbear's picture
Trapbear
Posts: 87
Joined: Sep 2009

Sorry to hear about your wife's Dx. Make sure you ask your onc about Plexikon's bRAF inhibitor, it is doing wonders in advanced melanoma, nice articles in the New York Times this week. Take care and let us know if you can get your wife in a trial or maybe compassionate use protocol.

Trapbear's picture
Trapbear
Posts: 87
Joined: Sep 2009

Here is a link to the series of articles
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/24/health/research/24trial.html?em

sadspouse
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2010

trial study docs say that she is not able to do trials because she is not physicaly able. She started carboplatin and taxol last thursday and is having it real rough now she just got 2 pints of blood yesterday and seems to be more sick and weak then she was before. Deb as said that if the side affects get any worse that she wants to quit the chemo and call hospis. I told her that I would suport her. This is real rough for me it tears me up to see her suffer so much. The cancer has spread so fast since 5/2009 and IL2, DTIC, and now not to able to do trial studies(3) and these current chemos are making it rough for her. I have been off work now for the past 5 weeks and the famliy says it hurts them to see her so bad off (but I dont need to complain about that). Please keep us in your prayers and again thanks for the web sites.

grandmafay's picture
grandmafay
Posts: 1611
Joined: Aug 2009

This is a very tough time for both of you. It is so hard to watch our loved ones suffer. My husband used to tell me that it was harder on me than him. We want to fix them, to make it better, but there is only so much we can do. You are doing the best you can, but sometimes it just doesn't seem like enough. I will keep you both in my prayers as you go through the decision making process. Whatever decision your wife makes, it will continue to be very difficult. Letting her make the decision and supporting it, is the loving thing to do. Fay

sadspouse
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2010

Thank you this realy helps

Barbara53's picture
Barbara53
Posts: 659
Joined: Aug 2009

My neighbor's wife was in Deb's situation, and she decided to stop treatment. She died peacefully at home three months later. It was a very special time for all, and her name is still spoken with reverence. My neighbor has remarried, and his current wife doesn't mind the gold amulet he wears around his neck in memory of the woman he loved and lost.

Your wife will decide for herself, but accepting the special help that hospice can offer will make a huge difference in the quality of the days ahead.

A first name might help focus prayers, give them a little extra lift. Deb and ???

sadspouse
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2010

my name is Randy and thank you so much.

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