Jan 24, 2010 - 2:11 am
After reading many of the posts on these discussion boards, I now realize the kaleidoscope of emotions and events happening around my husband's cancer diagnosis are not so weird and unusual. Well, I could only wish that our family would take the time to investigate and understand this phenomenon because they seem to have all suddenly gone invisible. Some due to the denial and inability to cope with their own feelings and emotions and some due to the inability (or refusal) to understand that I have changed during this process. My priorities have undergone a major overhaul because I am caring for my beloved partner full time and watching him battle the pain and side effects of chemotherapy every day.
My priorities no longer include being a hostess to anybody who visits our home, they no longer include discussions about family drama and gossip and they certainly do not include time for anyone who is without kindness and compassion for our situation. Yes, there are members of the family who have said I "look stressed out" and it is probably very scary for them to see me that way. Therefore they have suddenly become invisible. For some, I am sure there is a fear of doing and saying the wrong thing. What once was a close-knit family has scattered like dust in the face of hardship. Do you call that a "fair-weather family"?
While I grasp the comprehension that they cannot and never will completely understand our plight there also seems to be a reluctance to try. There seems to be a lot of safety in denial. Then you don't have to deal with your feelings nor do you have to inconvenience yourself with lending a helping hand. We get more kindness and compassion from strangers and oncology nurses than our own family.
May God Bless them along their journey of life and may they be able to maintain their own important path of goals/achievements and may cancer never touch their lives wherein they might also have to mine the treasures and depths of their souls.
Cancer takes away some of the parts of life we once labeled important but cancer also gives us a perspective of love and caring that can only be obtained if you are willing to look.
Treasuring our time together,