You girls would be proud of me.

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ppurdin
ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi everyone.Me and my daughter done a little shopping today.While going through the checkout line I forgot that I didn,t have my wig on.its more comftorable wearing a warm hat.Anyway the checkout lady was a older lady.She says what kind of cancer do you have.I told her breast Cancer.She says have you had surgery?I said yes Lord I thought she was going to ask me if I still had my Breast.She says their was a women that worked with her,I caught the word was.And she goes on to say as she is waiting on me.Well the lady that worked their had breast Cancer,surgery,treatments and then she died.I looked right at her and said I don,t want to hear the bad stories only good.It made me so mad.Then the women tells me a quick story about a surviver that she knows.My daughter was trying to make me feel better and said I don,t think she ment it in a bad way.But I am sorry they can not be that stupid to think that wouldn,t bother me or anyone in my position.I told her as I picked my bag up that I would not think negative thoughts about it.That I couldn,t get through it if I did.I think we need to start letting people know that it does upset us.Some days I could have tuned it out but not today.Anyway I wanted to share.Thanks for letting me vent.Love and Prayers.(Pat).

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  • MyTurnNow
    MyTurnNow Member Posts: 2,686 Member
    #2
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    I am proud of you,
    I am proud of you, Pat.....proud that you didn't punch her in the nose!!! Why in the world do people have to relay the most negative story they have about breast cancer??? And, to someone who has just been through treatments and is a new survivor. I don't get it but I probably never will. Like I said, Pat, I am proud of you. Take care.
  • Marcia527
    Marcia527 Member Posts: 2,729
    #3
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    I think some people just
    I think some people just don't think first. They want to say something and their mouth goes off before the brain. I've done it myself but once it's done can't take it back. Sorry it happened to you. Try not to let it bother you. Hugs.
  • shortscake
    shortscake Member Posts: 228
    #4
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    proud of you
    I am so proud of you pat for just walking away i don't understand when people started talking about someone with bc that died do they think they are telling you something good, what are they thinking? if they are thinking at all. you did the right thing and just walked away. girl power
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
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    I AM proud of you, dearheart!!!!
    I was faced with this stuff...and I said "Yes, there are as many stories about cancer as there are about pregnant women who have a tough time. I didn't when I was pregnant, and I WILL NOT while fighting cancer!"

    Hugs, Kathi
  • terri805
    terri805 Member Posts: 122
    #6
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    KathiM said:

    I AM proud of you, dearheart!!!!
    I was faced with this stuff...and I said "Yes, there are as many stories about cancer as there are about pregnant women who have a tough time. I didn't when I was pregnant, and I WILL NOT while fighting cancer!"

    Hugs, Kathi

    yesterday
    Yesterday when I went to a quilt shop to see about taking a class the owner/ instructor told me when it began and I told her that I was having surgery that day and she asked me what kind and I told her and her response was"ooooohhhh I am so sorry I lost a good friend to that" as she was touching my arm. She was probably in her 60's I'd guess to say. This was my first experience with someone making this kind of comment since I was dx on dec 11th 2009. I started to cry as I always do when I tell someone about it and I apologized for being emotional. She just said "it's ok I understand". i know she didn't mean to upset me but....it goes back to people should stop and think before they speak about something so sensitive. I get really mad at myself for crying when i tell someone for the first time. I don't know why I do it. Drat!
  • scout5000
    scout5000 Member Posts: 94 Member
    #7
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    yep
    I can't count the times, since being diagnosed a year ago, that people have told me who they know that died of breast cancer. The thing that bugs me the most is that they say it as if it is a bit of gossip which will somehow connect us. I continue to be speechless when it happens. I'm glad you spoke up.
  • ppurdin
    ppurdin Member Posts: 1,181
    #8
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    Thanks everyone.
    I know I am not alone with this issue.I have been pretty quite and personal to other people about me having Breast Cancer.But in the last few weeks i have taken a little bit different outlook about things.If I don,t feel like wearing my wig ,I throw a hat on and I can talk about it to others now.I guess I am tired of acting like I am the same person.Cancer changes us forever.And I also get tired of hearing the negative about it.I just think their is ways to let people know this without being mean about it.Thanks everyone.Love and Prayers.(Pat).
  • jnl
    jnl Member Posts: 3,869 Member
    #9
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    MyTurnNow said:

    I am proud of you,
    I am proud of you, Pat.....proud that you didn't punch her in the nose!!! Why in the world do people have to relay the most negative story they have about breast cancer??? And, to someone who has just been through treatments and is a new survivor. I don't get it but I probably never will. Like I said, Pat, I am proud of you. Take care.

    WTG
    I would have punched them in the nose too! Stupid people just make me so mad! You just hold your head high Pat and don't let dumb people hurt you!

    Hugs, Leeza
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #10
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    I know what you mean. Right
    I know what you mean. Right before my surgery, my boss told me about her uncle who had liver cancer. She went on to say that the cancer was resistant to the chemo and no matter what they did for him the cancer kept growing and he died. That story freaked me out and stayed with me. How could someone think that was a helpful thing to tell someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer???
  • Mama G
    Mama G Member Posts: 762
    #11
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    Eil4186 said:

    I know what you mean. Right
    I know what you mean. Right before my surgery, my boss told me about her uncle who had liver cancer. She went on to say that the cancer was resistant to the chemo and no matter what they did for him the cancer kept growing and he died. That story freaked me out and stayed with me. How could someone think that was a helpful thing to tell someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer???

    I've been hearing the same stories...
    and usually react the same way. I get an "attitude" in my voice and say, "I don't need to hear that!!!" But I have to say I've heard many good stories, too! and I react with a very happy attitude and thank them profusely for telling me those.
    So many women are lIVING out a full life after b/c. I want to be one of them as I know we all do. Let's DO IT!!!
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #12
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    ppurdin said:

    Thanks everyone.
    I know I am not alone with this issue.I have been pretty quite and personal to other people about me having Breast Cancer.But in the last few weeks i have taken a little bit different outlook about things.If I don,t feel like wearing my wig ,I throw a hat on and I can talk about it to others now.I guess I am tired of acting like I am the same person.Cancer changes us forever.And I also get tired of hearing the negative about it.I just think their is ways to let people know this without being mean about it.Thanks everyone.Love and Prayers.(Pat).

    That's the right attitude!!! You GO, Girl!!!!!
    I walked around with my (bald) head held high. I agree with everyone, these people are uncomfortable, so they think of something that will make you feel better (they think...but they are NOT thinking).

    On softer days, I put on my best smile and said "I am so sorry to hear that. Of course, this is a nasty disease that can kill...but I'm working my hardest to keep that from happening to me!"

    Hugs, Kathi
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #13
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    Mama G said:

    I've been hearing the same stories...
    and usually react the same way. I get an "attitude" in my voice and say, "I don't need to hear that!!!" But I have to say I've heard many good stories, too! and I react with a very happy attitude and thank them profusely for telling me those.
    So many women are lIVING out a full life after b/c. I want to be one of them as I know we all do. Let's DO IT!!!

    I had some WONDERFUL stories...
    Many women, seeing my shining pate, would come up and share their experiences...some of them were 20-30 year survivors...I LOVE to 'compare notes'...the standard treatment used to be mustard gas (you know, the stuff used to kill people in wars...), and hair loss was PERMANENT!!!

    I always say 'Thank you' to these women...for being such brave pioneers...

    Hugs, Kathi
  • Chrispea
    Chrispea Member Posts: 123 Member
    #14
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    KathiM said:

    I had some WONDERFUL stories...
    Many women, seeing my shining pate, would come up and share their experiences...some of them were 20-30 year survivors...I LOVE to 'compare notes'...the standard treatment used to be mustard gas (you know, the stuff used to kill people in wars...), and hair loss was PERMANENT!!!

    I always say 'Thank you' to these women...for being such brave pioneers...

    Hugs, Kathi

    You handled that well.
    You handled that well. People just don't think. My mother in law is one of those people. She kept telling me how a few of her friends had breast cancer and how terrible the chemo was. You know, I really didn't need to hear that.

    Well, instead of thinking about that and how terrible it would be... me being the "I'll show you" type of person, I convinced myself that it would be OK, and it was.

    Point here is don't listen to other people. Everyone is different. And bravo to you!
  • susie09
    susie09 Member Posts: 2,930
    #15
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    Eil4186 said:

    I know what you mean. Right
    I know what you mean. Right before my surgery, my boss told me about her uncle who had liver cancer. She went on to say that the cancer was resistant to the chemo and no matter what they did for him the cancer kept growing and he died. That story freaked me out and stayed with me. How could someone think that was a helpful thing to tell someone who has just been diagnosed with cancer???

    I am proud of you too!
    I am proud of you too! People are generally well meaning. I don't think they realize what some of what they say REALLY says to us though.

    ♠♣ Susie ♠♣

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