My heart and prayers are with you today. Please stay in touch with us when you feel up to it.
Though I am new here, I have ready many of your posts and love your attitude towards life and your life with cancer. I admire a great deal your "it is what it is" mantra and applaud you for it. You may not think so of yourself...but you ARE an amazing woman.
So, I add my thoughts to those thinking of you and am sending my best healing vibes your way.
Been thinking of you all day... Hugs!
Just wanted you to know you have been on my mind all day. Hoping that today went as well as a day at chemo can.
Love and Hugs!!
Thanks, everyone, for your support. This chemo, with only 5 steroid pills instead of the 15 I got last time, sent me home soooo sleepy instead of the jazzed up 'hamster days' like I used to get. Although my actual infusion was only 1 hour, plus the 2 'rinse cycles' of saline (instead of the 3 1/2 hr. carbo/taxol) and I didn't have a sit-down with my oncologist since I just saw him, the process took FOREVER this time. I was there for 5 hours, and I think a part of the delay was waiting for the okay to proceed because of the pain I've been having in my armpit.
And they had to do the hot towels trick and stick me 3 times to get a good vein, so it's good I'm having the port installed Friday. My eyes filled up with tears when the 2nd stick didn't work, just for a minute, because I so DON'T want to be doing this all again. But it all felt so normal, like falling back into an old familiar routine. I'm okay.
There was a present for me in my mailbox before I left for the clinic. My best friend from jr. high and high school, who I haven't seen in a decade and who is a breast cancer survivor, sent me a 'Diva' warming blanket: thick leopard-;looking plush on 1 side and thick mink-looking on the other. Everyone has been so sweet. I think I'll go crawl in under my Diva Blanket and drink some hot tea and have a little nappy-poo. ((((Love you)))))!
thinking of you frequently; comforting to "hear" from you
I had a CA-125 drawn today, pre-chemo, and it was 144, down 10 points from the startling 154 CA-125 I had a couple of weeks ago. I was prepared for my CA-125 to have gone WAAAAAY up because I have had all of that wierd pain under my armpit that feels like it's spreading out about 3" outside the armpit now. But I am reassured from that small drop in my CA-125 that the node must just be surrounded by inflammation. That's what the oncology nurse said and what the 'on call oncologist' said when I phoned her over the weekend, & what my chemo oncologist said when I caught him as he walked by my chemo lounger. The fact that CA-125 didn't go up reassures me that the cancer is still confined within those 3 nodes. I hope when I get re-tested before NEXT week's chemo that my CA-125 will drop more dramatically. That would show that the taxol is working.
And my armpit doesn't hurt now, so I think I NEEDED those steroids! ... and maybe I even need the taxol, although now I hold out a tiny hope that this is not actually recurrance. (a hope not shared by my oncologists, but a tiny one I still have.)
Good to hear your day is over. It would have to be 3 sticks today of all days. Like you said you do not want to be there and then have to endure the sickning needles. Deanna too had a bad needle day. I hope the port does the trick for you. Any amount of 'comfort' at this point would be welcome. If you get a moment would you please send me your address by email? CA 125 drop was a great surprise. I suppose those Drs know what they are doing, but I am holding out for that ray of hope too. If anyone should prove them all wrong let it be you!!!! If you get your port Friday maybe your next chemo we be over in a much shorter time span? I pray you feel well and have a joyful and peaceful Christmas season. (I keep looking at this post and wishing that all of us women on this site could just WISH strong enough and a magic miracle of healing could come through for you... and no recurrance. It would just feel so right!!)
I can't stand it anymore. When I Googled infection ca 125--I came up with about ten articles saying that an infection will raise the CA-125. Would you please, ask them if there is any reason that you shouldn't have an antibiotic to see if it alone would lower your numbers. I'm begging you. Infection, swollen glands, elevated CA-125 all go together too. Ooops. Sorry ; ~ ?
Love and kisses,
I made that same argument to EVERY oncology person on my team, and they all say "Dr, White is really confident that this is a malignancy we're dealing with." My wonderful chemo-oncologist that has been my biggest optimist and cheerleader all along is the one digging in the hardest here, and seems almost cross with me for beating that drum over and over with anyone who will listen. I am not running a fever, so the infection idea doesn't impress them. (Sometimes I think my chemo-onc is cross with me now that I have recurred when I was to be his shining success story! Or maybe he has other pressures that are making him crabby and I am not the center of his universe. HA!)
Claudia, I'm taking such a mild dose of taxol that all I really have to lose here is my hair. The taxol and steroids will clear up the inflammation if that is all it is and shrink the nodes back to size. And if it's really cancer, I have done the prudent thing to keep the cancer hopefully contained within the nodes.
My chemo-onc knows me. If he wanted to 'watch and wait', I would be fighting to get the chemo going immediately. That's how I am. I'm ready for him to carve a hole in my armpit and get that node out of there, but he thinks that's TOO extreme, and a waste if the other malignant lymph nodes are left in: the one behind my stomach (which was 2 mm and so I deem the PET non-diagnostic!) and in my pelvis (which my gyn-onc originally thought was enlarged due to all my bowel issues and radiation damage in that part of my body until he read the PET summary saying I lit up elsewhere in distant areas).
So, I hear you, Claudia. I do. That's why when this taxol yanks me back into remission, I'm going to STAY in remission next time FOREVER and fool them all! The will be amazed and think I am a miracle.
I am still holding out hope as well, that it is just infection or inflammation! Next week your CA-125 is going to plummet and you are going to stay in remission forever!!!
For now, you rest and think all positive thoughts. Snuggle under that neat new blanket and drink your green tea!
Snuggling under a warm blanket is the best thing in the world. Sorry to hear about all the needle sticks, that sucks and I'm inspired by your strength. Praying it's all about inflammation and possible infection.
You'll beat this my friend and we will dance with NED together...
Many, many hugs!