Cancer Survivors Network

I liked crossword puzzel books and word game books.

Hi there "Being There"

You have written, "I'm looking for gift ideas for a male friend who is about to undergo an aggressive radiation and chemo regime simultaneously. Thanks, Being There"
Allow me to say "Welcome to a "world of hurt" and "words of wisdom and comfort" from Esophageal Cancer patients and caregivers who are into "Survival on this Discussion Link.

I am one of the EC patients who underwent an "aggressive chemo and radiation" regimen simultaneously. In the Spring of 2003, I had two 96-hour continual infusions of 5-FU and Carboplatin by intravenously by way of a Bard port implanted in my chest. I had one chemo regimen at the beginning, then another at the end, concurrent with 5 weeks of radiation. I was blessed to have minimum side effects that I need not go into here. So the answers you might be given would depend on whether he is going to a local oncologist daily and sitting there having a "drip" for hours, or whether he is home all the time, as was I, or whether he is going to be hospitalized and monitored during the treatments. All 3 are possibilities. Naturally, one would have to be personally acquainted with this patient to know what expression of love would bring this male the most long-lasting satisfaction.

Without being facetious, I suggest that, if you are not already familiar with the often disabling side effects that chemo and radiation can bring, that you "bone up" quickly on some of the stories on this Survivor's site. For the purposes of answering you, I am assuming that you may not be aware of the many possibilities of outcomes a chemo patient may have. In that regard, I am addressing my words to one just being introduced to this world we know as "Cancer of the Esophagus" and the treatments that accompany same.

We are "survivors", but most often not without a long hard struggle to the mountain top. The gifts of "compassion, love, patience, faith and understanding" cannot be purchased and are valued most by these suffering souls hoping to have a successful conclusion to these "treatments". So be certain that you equip yourself in the best way possible to be that "giving person". A touch, a smile, words of encouragement and understanding last long after a book or puzzle are finished (not to diminish those material gifts.) They would be appropriate if one is enjoying good health during the treatments. Some are so sick they can't concentrate and haven't the energy to put a puzzle together. This is the world we live in!

So once again, please don't think I'm berating "Viking796" suggestion. He has written a response to one of the caregivers on this site who feels hopeless because her husband has had a successful operation and now refuses to eat. Obviously Larry knows a thing or two about cancer because he has entered "new - I go to GNC and buy cans of WEIGHT GAINER 2200 GOLD. and MEGA MEN MAXIMUM NUTRITION VITAMIN AND MINERAL SUPPLEMENTS. Both are in powder form. I make a shake with them and add a banana and frozen fruit. That is all that is keeping me nourished and it has stopped rapid wieght loss. I am down from 212 to 135 but I don't feel weak. Go to GNC WEBSITE AND READ ABOUT IT.- GOOD LUCK, LARRY (viking)"

However, I am approaching your question from the standpoint as one who is not thoroughly familiar with this "awful but necessary regimen known as chemotherapy and radiation". Few sail through unscathed! Perhaps a good "current" book that an Esophageal Cancer Survivor has written would be a suggestion. I was operated on May 17,2003. New drugs and new methods have come on the market since I was first diagnosed. Fortunately, I was the recipient of something fairly new at that time, a new procedure known as "Minimally Invasive Esophagectomy". My story is one I would pray be duplicated thousands of times over. I am cancer-free (in remission). My oncologist says I will more than likely die from old age than from a recurrence of Esophageal Cancer since I have been blessed to live this long after my surgery without any complications. And I always say, if I die tomorrow, my story is miraculous. I hope that your friend will be a "survivor". I'm assuming that they are just beginning their journey and are receiving "pre-op" treatments rather than "post op" treatments.

Also perhaps agreeing to accompany them to a "Cancer Support Group", would be a grand gift. The gift of "self" is most appreciated. Cancer patients need to know there is someone in their corner, particularly people who know how to pray, console and listen and grieve along with them.

You will get an education quickly if you read postings by "Donna" and "Wildgoose", two of the most recent chemo and radiation Esophageal Cancer patients who were "open" enough to share their "hurts and joys". They have just completed their "treatments" and hope to undergo successful Esophagectomies.

The "chemo/radiation" maze is more than a "hop, skip and a jump" away from surgery. Some make it and some do not. "Hope and Fear" are two rival companions that want to both occupy the front seat and do the driving at the same time! It is extremely important that although one has looked this cancer square in the eye and learned of the devastating possibilities, that they DO NOT LET FEAR RULE THE DAY. There is life after the chemo/radiation "treatments" and I do mean "treatments" often in the worst sense of the word. There is "life after the operation for Esophageal Cancer". There is hope.

I speak from experience. I was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer, Stage III, (T3N1M0) in the Fall of 2002. I was operated on by Dr. James D. Luketich at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center in Pittsburgh. Dr. Luketich has successfully treated many Esophageal Cancer Patients. He is the pioneer of the "Minimally Invasive Esophagectomy" (MIE). If your friend hasn't had a second opinion as to options available, I suggest you help him with research into Esophageal Cancer. Of course, each patient is different. Some will only want to read a good book and hope for the best. Others will become very forceful in their quest to find answers about this cancer.

The best gift you can give your male friend is the "gift of yourself" to be by their side day and night encouraging them that this battle can be won by the grace of God! If their ability to swallow hasn't already been compromised, you can start by taking them to their favorite restaurant and treating them to their favorite food. Most likely the chemo will alter their taste buds for a time and "enjoying what they eat" will be on the "back burner" till after the treatments are complete. Just wanted to warn you that if you're a true friend, be prepared for being one for a "long haul".

Best of everything good to you and your friend,

William W. Marshall
AKA "William66"
Virginia Beach, VA 23464

Being there,

First---thanks for “being there” for someone!!!! They are lucky to have you!....

I had to think of ideas for my (young -70 year old) dad, whose birthday occurred right after he finished a 6 week harsh clinical trial with radiation every day and with 3 chemo agents. He sailed (literally) through 4 weeks of it. I thought he was going to drive my mom nutty because he wanted to be up doing something every minute. By the fifth week he hit the wall. He was weak, sick & blood work off. He is gradually recovering from the treatment---luckily it did it's job (& will be getting surgery), but of course it affects the whole body---not just the cancer cells.

Anyway---I don't know how well you know this fella---but every gift I initially thought of seemed so trivial---in light of a life threatening illness...so I had to search deeper---into his interests, sense of humor, his optimistic personality/outlook, etc. I ended up giving him a number of “little” gifts.

--I found a website that had t-shirts, hats, bummer stickers and such that had funny sayings on them. Some said "my oncologist is better than yours" or "Kicking cancer's Butt" (actually it was more colorful than that --and my mom likes it, but my dad’s a little embarrassed because he doesn't curse!-- smile --). But he has been a life long fan of FORDs and I happened to stumble on a baseball cap that said: “FORD Tough”. That was very meaningful to him (---even though he hates to actually WEAR hats---he’ll probably just hang it in his room or barn) because he felt so crappy after chemo-rad. treatment---it was a reminder of how TOUGH he can and wanted to be---

Obviously, this is very specific to him, but if you look inward and say a quick prayer---you’ll be able to give something to boost their spirits, makes them LAUGH,let them know you care AND that you are there with them through the long haul.

I also think gifts of SELF or HEART really are meaningful to the person with cancer ---they appreciate them more than you can know. Examples of this are---your time—sitting with them through the hard times of waiting or appointments or worry, sitting with the caregiver, helping with household chores they can’t do, communicating with others abut their status (ONLY of they want this) or just talking if they need someone to talk to...

If you know them well (and are so inclined), maybe you can organize a Spaghetti supper (or chili, bake sale, etc) to raise $$$ for their cancer treatment, lodging, etc costs.

Hugs are good too!!!....

Most of all stay positive while able to feel their fear & concerns---no easy task.....
GOOD LUCK---sorry so long—it has been a long process for me-so I can’t comment any other way!
Kim

I am going through the same right now. A good book is a nice gift but the most important to me is having someone with me on those long days.

Dear,
i think this link may useful for you

http://www.rollingidea.com/boyfriend-gift-ideas.html

Someone to sit and keep him company. Someone who could sit with me and just be there. That was the best thing people did for me while I was going through it all.

Jim

An Ipod and all the podcasts that might interest him. Go to I-tunes and listen to the "how stuff works" podcasts. It's a great distraction. "Selected Shorts" is also good.

Best of luck,
Steve