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Bit of advice

sammysam
Posts: 1
Joined: Sep 2009

I have one of my best friends who is now dealing with her father's cancer. I am just wondering what is the best way to offer her some support.

zahalene's picture
zahalene
Posts: 624
Joined: Nov 2005

on the specific situation.
If your friend is actively caring for her father, there are any number of practical things you can do to help ease her burden, assuming that you live close by. The daily grind can become overwhelming and an extra pair of hands are invaluable. Or being the avenue for getting her out for a much needed break from the day-to-day care duties may be key in the process.
If she is not caring for him she is still, I am sure, in need of lots of emotional support. The best therapy may be for her to have someone to talk to whom she feels she can 'dump' on without adding to their burden too much (as opposed to one of her own siblings or such, assuming there are some). So try to be a good listener. You don't have to (and will not be able to in any case) offer answers to all her 'why' questions, but you can certainly let her know that they are being heard.
Just simply ask her what she needs from you and follow her lead. Her needs may change over time so be ready to be flexible in your relationship with her. And be a bit thick skinned if she is not her usual 'sunny side up' self all the time.
God bless.

Buzzard's picture
Buzzard
Posts: 3073
Joined: Aug 2008

along with Zahs reply you can invite her to join us here as a gift from you give her the website address. This has been a Godsend to me as I think it will be to her also. I think she would really appreciate the things she can take away from here as far as healing emotionally with the sickness of a loved one

terato's picture
terato
Posts: 384
Joined: Apr 2002

Sammy,

As someone once told me long ago, the difference between an "acquaintance" and a "friend", is that when an "acquaintance" calls you for an invitation to dinner and you inform him/her that you are in the middle of painting your living room, he/she says, "Maybe next week then?" On the other hand, given the same situation, a "friend" would respond, "Do you have an extra roller?" A "friend" attempts to ease your burdens, if only in small, but appreciated ways.

"A friend in need is a friend indeed."

Love and Courage!

Rick

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