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Oh is that all

NM
Posts: 214
Joined: Jul 2009

Hi again everyone on day 4 now and am doing ok, a little soreness around the catheter but 1 other thing has me kinda ticked off to put it mildly, I told some friends and family members I had prostate cancer and the reply was Oh is that all. My dad died from this and I kinda take my Davinci and recovery as a serious thing. I pray for no psa and no positive margins next week. My question to others here have you had this kind of experience? Prostate cancer well your lucky it could have been worse? To me cancer is all bad and I pray for all of you who have any kind. Cancer is still spelled cancer. Sorry about this post but it made me mad as hell.... Praying for you all......Nick

Olee's picture
Olee
Posts: 97
Joined: Nov 2008

Yes I have dealt with the attitude of "Oh is that all?" I find it amazing that anyone would even say those words about a condition that has the potential at the very least to change a man's life forever, much less kill them. The other cancers are given far more significance when it comes to danger, but when cancer has metastasized, I don't think it matters where in the body it originated, it's still deadly. That being said any cancer has the potential to be a ticking time bomb, yes even prostate cancer! I've thought about it many times since being diagnosed and the only conclusion I have come to is the fact that it's a male cancer. I think people may perceive a cancer that affects only men as something they can deal with, they are men after all. When they are diagnosed themselves or someone they love dearly has Prostate Cancer, the weight hits them and all of a sudden it's not so unimportant. Then there's the attitude in the male community that it's something we deal with and sweep it under the rug. It's just not a condition that needs to be discussed, we were diagnosed,treated and now we move on, we're men! It's Prostate Cancer Awareness month and you will be hard pressed to find any commercial, like you do with other cancers, that speak out about the dangers and encourage people to get their loved ones tested. It's just not that dangerous or it's too embarrassing, these are attitudes that help to contribute to a public's perception that Prostate Cancer is no more dangerous than acid reflux. Ask, "Oh is that all?" to the families of the over 27,000 men that will die this year alone. It makes me mad as hell also. You're right saying what I have said for so long, it's still spelled C-A-N-C-E-R.

NM
Posts: 214
Joined: Jul 2009

I have prostate cancer , just had Davinci and didnt know it was prostate cancer awareness month. So much for getting it out there.

RRMCJIM's picture
RRMCJIM
Posts: 149
Joined: Mar 2009

As usual Olee....you hit it on the head....well said for us all...
Jim

lewvino's picture
lewvino
Posts: 1004
Joined: May 2009

You have a right to be mad. All of have a right to be mad about this cancer. Men die from this cancer as you know and it is nothing to take lightly. I've not had anyone make that comment to me yet but if they do....I will inform them of the 27,000 plus men that die each year.

Larry

WHW's picture
WHW
Posts: 189
Joined: Jul 2009

Wait until after the catheter is removed and the next person that says that, here's what you do.

Just whizzzzz all over them and then say "I'm sorry, I have PC and one of the side effects of the treatment is uncontrollable incontinence.

No one could blame you and no judge or jury would ever hassle you about assault.

Keep up the good reports though, my surgery is the 17th.

Sonny

RRMCJIM's picture
RRMCJIM
Posts: 149
Joined: Mar 2009

Sonny, I needed that....I didn't stop laughing all night....the incontinence issue has been worse since I started back to work, about 5 weeks ago....but I lift heavy at work...so it should be understandable.....but hard non the less..
thanks again Sonny...
Jim

lewvino's picture
lewvino
Posts: 1004
Joined: May 2009

I love your idea Sonny.

Larry

WHW's picture
WHW
Posts: 189
Joined: Jul 2009

Other than skin cancer, prostate cancer is the most common cancer in American men. The latest American Cancer Society estimates for prostate cancer in the United States are for 2009:

* about 192, 280 new cases of prostate cancer will be diagnosed
* 27,360 men will die of prostate cancer

About 1 man in 6 will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifetime. More than 2 million men in the United States who have been diagnosed with prostate cancer at some point are still alive today.

Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in American men, behind only lung cancer. About 1 man in 35 will die of prostate cancer. Prostate cancer accounts for about 10% of cancer-related deaths in men.

Bill_4's picture
Bill_4
Posts: 29
Joined: Jun 2009

When I was first diagnosed, a friend and PC surviver cautioned me to only tell a few friends initially. Both he and I experienced a variety of different reactions to our PC. One just said, "oh they can cure that" and another said simply, "PC is just a part of being male and this age". Some of us may not hear from people we tell because they can't deal with it or they don't want to bother you. Then there are friends and family who form a support group, send cards and check in every so often. I was fortunate to have a friend who had just gone through treatment months earlier. He both supported and guided me with his experiences and with questions I could ask. Mostly though, he just listened to all of the crap going on in my head.

lewvino's picture
lewvino
Posts: 1004
Joined: May 2009

Sounds very familiar...all the crap going on in my head! Now that I'm post surgery things have settled down more. Though I still get some wild thoughts since I have a positive margin. I have one chapter left to read in Dr. Walsh's book and it has helped put my mind at ease.

When I told some friends in the department I work at it was amazing the reactions I got. Most said nothing and didn't talk to me for a couple days. I finally sent an IM to one lady that I thought would understand and stated..you know I'm not dead you can still talk to me!
She quickly apologized and said her husband who has cancer also has noticed people not talking to him. I guess it is easier to be quite then to say words of comfort.

Larry

steckley
Posts: 100
Joined: Aug 2009

Larry,

I've concluded that with some folks (i.e. co-workers) there is a stigma when it comes to cancer. They have not been exposed to it; therfore, they do not know what is appropriate to say/do. With some I have been able to educate; with some I have not. Currently, I don't address the issue, unless asked.

When I need advice, I tend to go to two friends who have had PC and we compare notes, and to my wife, who has helped me every step of the way.

steckley
Posts: 100
Joined: Aug 2009

Larry,

I've concluded that with some folks (i.e. co-workers) there is a stigma when it comes to cancer. They have not been exposed to it; therfore, they do not know what is appropriate to say/do. With some I have been able to educate; with some I have not. Currently, I don't address the issue, unless asked.

When I need advice, I tend to go to two friends who have had PC and we compare notes, and to my wife, who has helped me every step of the way.

novaguy
Posts: 76
Joined: Jul 2009

I had pretty much the same reactions from people. Except for my close family, and with them it was me that had to comfort them and tell them that this type of cancer has a good prognosis, etc.

dopplerjockey's picture
dopplerjockey
Posts: 39
Joined: Jul 2009

You have all hit the nail on the head. We live in rural Idaho, and an elderly neighbor lady of ours was mistakenly told that I had pancreatic cancer. When she actually visited with me and we were face to face, she expressed complete relief when she was informed by me that what I had surgery for was Prostate Cancer. I was shocked at her attitude, in light of the fact that her husband died just 5 years ago from prostate cancer and is buried at the local cemetary on the hill above our ranch.

So, that is what happens fellows, prostate cancer is looked upon by the general public as an easy out, and the monies assigned for research in America for prostate cancer is reflected is this very attitude. Don't let the public take it that lightly, it isn't like catching the flu or veneral disease.
Wishing you all good health, bladder continence and functional erections to you all.
Dallas

lewvino's picture
lewvino
Posts: 1004
Joined: May 2009

A lady at the church I attend lost her husband to advanced Prostate cancer about five years ago. She had been VERY SUPPORTIVE to my wife and myself. I am one of the church organists and I actually played the organ for her husbands funeral. When she found out about me having this cancer she told us that she was afraid that we wouldn't want to talk to her since her husband died from it. Every week when I see her at Church I make sure and go up and give her hug to help calm her fears. She is in her late 70's and her husband refused any type of treatment for his cancer.

Larry

tpelle
Posts: 146
Joined: Aug 2003

A few years ago when family members became aware of my prostate cancer, one nephew, too, gave the impression it was no "big deal". I was a little surprised by his attitude but understood because of his ignorance of the subject. Now he is in treatment for prostate cancer, choosing over 40+ daily radiation treatments (instead of following my path of radical open surgery). He is almost at the end of his radiation treatment schedule and is suffering the usual side effects -- hot flashes, waking at night soaked with sweat (probably from hormone shot), fatigue, bowel irritation, weight loss, etc. And, he still faces the apprehension of waiting for the first and subsequent PSA readings. I think he now understands that prostate cancer is a "big deal". I have compassion for him and for all others facing prostate cancer.

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