Rollercoaster

esined
esined Member Posts: 22
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
On April 6th, my husband of 17 years, was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer in his left lung and in 4 lymph nodes next to his treacea. His treatment is chemo every other week. His doctor stated he would be on chemo as long as he was responding and as long as he could take it. And it is for life extention, they do not expect a cure. After 6 rounds he is unable to perform most tasks, is exhausted most of the time and a good day is getting dressed and coming down stairs. We, meaning he, this weekend had to discuss the possibility of discontinuing treatment because if he felt like this for the rest of his life he could not take it and of course I had to participate in this conversation whether I was ready or not.
I have, from the start, told him I would support his decisions on his treatment or not treatment, but that discussion was harder than finding out about the cancer and his life expectancy. I think this is because it is a choice where the cancer was not.
Well.... today his first CT scan report, since starting chemo, was given to him by the infusion nurse. We did not expect getting the information until Aug 31 at his next oncology appointment. The nurse could not read it to him or make any comments, but the reports stated his tumors are now half the size from when this started.
This is great, and it has energized my husband to continue fighting by continuing with the treatments. I feel like I am not as excited or happy as I should be. I think I am afraid of having too much hope only to later be let down.

Comments

  • Cindy54
    Cindy54 Member Posts: 452
    #2
    For You
    This is wonderful news!!! I am so glad it has given your husband some renewed fighting spirit. And I know what you mean about not feeling excited over this. So much of the mechanics of this disease take the life right out of us...our energy gets taken away as well as our emotions.We get a piece of good news and we are so overwhelmed by everything we take the wait and see approach...like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    Do your best to encourage your husband, sometimes just by encouraging another person some of that excitement rubs off on us.Probably because you know this is not for curing the cancer your husband has, you are more reluctant to get happy over this news of the tumors shrinking. I'm sure you feel that they will shrink now, but never be completely gone. Please don't give up hope. There are many people on these boards with many types of cancer that have lived many years beyond what the doctors expected. There are many new things happening each day in the medical field. As long as there is life, there is always hope. As hard as it is , there is still hope. Hugs, Cindy
  • whichwitch
    whichwitch Member Posts: 42
    #3
    It is the same with me and
    It is the same with me and my sister. She is on the last chemo treatment that they can do. She has ups and downs. I we grab on to the ups when ever we can. Some days she can not have the chemo due to the low platletts count. Next time they are up so she can have chemo and we do a chemo dance. Silly, I know, but whatever it takes to make a smile we do. She also talks about stopping the chemo, but has kept it up, What a girl she is. The Dr. said, when she has had enough let him know, It is now all about quality of life and how she wants to live it. Boy, is it a tuff road to hoe. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. May today be a happy and blessed day for both of you.
  • esined
    esined Member Posts: 22
    #4
    Cindy54 said:

    For You
    This is wonderful news!!! I am so glad it has given your husband some renewed fighting spirit. And I know what you mean about not feeling excited over this. So much of the mechanics of this disease take the life right out of us...our energy gets taken away as well as our emotions.We get a piece of good news and we are so overwhelmed by everything we take the wait and see approach...like waiting for the other shoe to drop.

    Do your best to encourage your husband, sometimes just by encouraging another person some of that excitement rubs off on us.Probably because you know this is not for curing the cancer your husband has, you are more reluctant to get happy over this news of the tumors shrinking. I'm sure you feel that they will shrink now, but never be completely gone. Please don't give up hope. There are many people on these boards with many types of cancer that have lived many years beyond what the doctors expected. There are many new things happening each day in the medical field. As long as there is life, there is always hope. As hard as it is , there is still hope. Hugs, Cindy

    Cindy,
    I know you are right
    Cindy,
    I know you are right and I appreciate your encouragement. Telling more people has helped to increase my happiness over this. And watching my husband have a better day is great. Thanks so much. There is so much wisdom on this site, even when I don't write I get so much.
    Denise
  • esined
    esined Member Posts: 22
    #5
    whichwitch said:

    It is the same with me and
    It is the same with me and my sister. She is on the last chemo treatment that they can do. She has ups and downs. I we grab on to the ups when ever we can. Some days she can not have the chemo due to the low platletts count. Next time they are up so she can have chemo and we do a chemo dance. Silly, I know, but whatever it takes to make a smile we do. She also talks about stopping the chemo, but has kept it up, What a girl she is. The Dr. said, when she has had enough let him know, It is now all about quality of life and how she wants to live it. Boy, is it a tuff road to hoe. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. May today be a happy and blessed day for both of you.

    Whichwitch,
    I love your id.
    Whichwitch,
    I love your id. Thank you for showing me/sharing your strength. Thanks for reminding me to find the happy. I am blessed that he is with me. You are also in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks
    Denise
  • marc24
    marc24 Member Posts: 92
    #6
    esined said:

    Whichwitch,
    I love your id.
    Whichwitch,
    I love your id. Thank you for showing me/sharing your strength. Thanks for reminding me to find the happy. I am blessed that he is with me. You are also in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks
    Denise

    spend as much time with him
    good luck with your husband's treatments, it seems the treatments are working so i really hope and pray u guys get through this...and also make sure to take care of urself...but again hope for the best and ur husband seems to be a strong willed person..losing hope is normal as cancer bares everyone down, but u know what, ur husband is sure not gonna give up and u arent either so lets go!!!

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