Depression!

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woodsygal
woodsygal Member Posts: 64
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
I am so sorry ....but I feel so depressed tonight. I just realized that I am truly alone with my fight!I get no support from work at all. I feel very isolated! Tho, I am upbeat about my prognosis and all, I have no partner or anything. I feel as if I was punished for something in my past. My failure at marriages or something. I am crying alone tonight, I want to move, but can't. I feel fat, my hair is a mess and just plain icky.
I just do not want to go to work at a job that I love so much. I just do not know how I am going to manage!! Again I am sorry....I am usually so happy!! Thanks to allthat have written me about suggestions for work, I appreciate it! Carlie

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  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
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    Carlie
    I'm, with ya! This week I am leaving my partner of 6 years and it's going to be hard, but I carried him for 3 years, no more, sometimes you are better off alone.

    It's normal to go between happy and depressed, don't ever be sorry, that's what this forum is for, vent all you like, you should hear some of my past ones.............Ohhhhhhhhh Man!

    Huge Hugs to you Jxxxxxxxxx
  • djteach
    djteach Member Posts: 273
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    Hey Carlie,
    I know how you

    Hey Carlie,
    I know how you feel, Carlie. I have battled depression since I was a teenager. They just called it mood swings back then. I will say that it is often normal to feel sad when you are battling the beast. If you are talking about depression, please let your onc. or reg. doctor know. There are so many good medications that can help you through this. You just have to find the right one.

    Tasha is so right!!Don't be sorry for coming to the board about this, That's what we are here for. You are a warrior or you wouldn't be having feelings at all. You are strong enough to look at your feelings and try to figure them out.

    Please don't say that you or anyone else has breast cancer as a punishment from earlier mistakes in life. You don't have this disease because of your behavior!!!! Maybe alone is the best right now so you can focus on what you need to help yourself heal. Just know that you are not alone. We are all here for you.

    Love and gentle hugs,
    Donna
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
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    Breast Cancer is not a "punishment"...
    Nothing, nothing at all, that we do nor have done in the past causes breast cancer. Please, there is nothing to feel "guilty" about. And, truly, no need to be "sorry" - not to us, not here.
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
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    awwwww.....
    I feel bad for you. It is aweful to feel alone. Here is the number for the ACS hotline that you may want to keep handy. Sometimes just picking up the phone and talking to someone can help to ease your sad feelings. Here it is: 1-888-227-6333 They also have what is called a "Reach to Recovery" program where they will match you with someone going through your similar situation that will walk with you through your recovery. It helps I think to have a live friend to talk with too. We will help you all we can through cyberspace. I hope you give them a call as you don't have to be alone in your fight. Hope you feel better soon, Carlie. (:(-) Pammy
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
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    Akiss4me said:

    awwwww.....
    I feel bad for you. It is aweful to feel alone. Here is the number for the ACS hotline that you may want to keep handy. Sometimes just picking up the phone and talking to someone can help to ease your sad feelings. Here it is: 1-888-227-6333 They also have what is called a "Reach to Recovery" program where they will match you with someone going through your similar situation that will walk with you through your recovery. It helps I think to have a live friend to talk with too. We will help you all we can through cyberspace. I hope you give them a call as you don't have to be alone in your fight. Hope you feel better soon, Carlie. (:(-) Pammy

    Pammy
    I hate to be the one to tell you this.........only a best friend can.......Maybe this facial hair issue needs tackling now......Don't get me wrong, you still look gorgeous in a kind of primative way........

    Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
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    This, too, is normal....
    I always felt that my fight was like my pregnancy...everyone had advice and good intentions, but when it came down to it I was the one with the morning sickness, and the swollen feet, and the back ache.

    You are wise to realized that this IS your fight, and, even with all the support in the world, it is still a terrifing experience. I once said 'If one MORE person tells me how strong I am, I am going to deck them!!!!!!'

    The best news is that, if all goes well, this part of your life will be over before you know it, and you can walk on, surely changed by the experience, but not destroyed by it. I know I have mentioned this before, but what REALLY helped me was to plan a special getaway for ME ONLY after the treatments were over. I decided on a spa that I loved, that had a hotel attached, in Palm Springs. I planned it all out, and then, when I was feeling better after the treatments were done, I called and booked the room, and 2 day package for the spa. IT WAS GRAND!!!!

    HUgs, Kathi
  • lynn1950
    lynn1950 Member Posts: 2,570
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    I remember
    feeling depressed. It's a companion to many of us on this ride. I remember everyone telling me that it just takes time; that it takes a year to "recover." "Takes time" was small solace for the "big bad" I was feeling! I needed help and I finally found it with the right therapist and the right meds. ( I had a "wrong" therapist and a very scary psychiatrist before I hit on the right combination!) I'm not saying that counseling and meds is the solution for you; just that there is nothing to be sorry about and there is nothing that you "did" to get cancer! You are a fighting you, coming to the boards and seeking answers and confirmation. That is a powerful you seeking help on your journey. I am so sorry that you are feeling isolated - you are not alone! You have an army surrounding you with hope and love. xoxoxo Lynn
  • tgf
    tgf Member Posts: 950 Member
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    lynn1950 said:

    I remember
    feeling depressed. It's a companion to many of us on this ride. I remember everyone telling me that it just takes time; that it takes a year to "recover." "Takes time" was small solace for the "big bad" I was feeling! I needed help and I finally found it with the right therapist and the right meds. ( I had a "wrong" therapist and a very scary psychiatrist before I hit on the right combination!) I'm not saying that counseling and meds is the solution for you; just that there is nothing to be sorry about and there is nothing that you "did" to get cancer! You are a fighting you, coming to the boards and seeking answers and confirmation. That is a powerful you seeking help on your journey. I am so sorry that you are feeling isolated - you are not alone! You have an army surrounding you with hope and love. xoxoxo Lynn

    Carlie,
    I'm with you ...I'm alone ... no husband or family around. I love my job. And think I also have a very positive attitude regarding my diagnosis. I've had the lumpectomy, chemo and now I'm finishing up with radiation ... and through all of this I have been "fine" and people keep telling me how "amazed" they are at how well I'm doing. Well ... I thought I was doing well too ... until this past week ... and I've been in the dumps ever since. But I will come out of it. I always do. Thanks to the miracle of modern chemistry (anti-depressants ... and anti-anxiety). If you haven't discussed your emotional feelings with your oncologist ... you need to ... soon. He/she will be able to prescribe something that will help you through the rough spots.

    hugs.
    teena
  • whichwitch
    whichwitch Member Posts: 42
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    oh please never think that
    oh please never think that you are alone. Even if we all just appear on the comptuer screen we are all real and love you and support you. We are here and know the feeling. Put you arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug from all of us. and the best advice i can give is just keep venting to us and we will always listen. love, hugs and more hugs coming your way.