new and just need some friends

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whichwitch
whichwitch Member Posts: 42
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Hi everyone, I have been coming by for a long time and reading all your wonderful notes and all your ups and downs and feel as if i already know each and everyone. My sister has been fighting breast cancer for years now. Now it is in the bone marrow and bones and i hate to see her battle this. It just breaks my heart. I just want to be there for her. can you tell me little things that she might like? I go with her to all her appts and treament so she won't feel so alone in this. But I want to do more. Can you all help me?

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  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #2
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    Of course,
    your unconditional love and support are what your sister needs more than anything right now. Try to be her 'soft place' to fall. She needs someone who will be accepting and understanding when she is mad, sad, scared, and all those other things that are part and parcel of this disease that sometimes keep us from being at our best.
    More specifically, try to find out what bothers her the most about her day-to-day situation and help ease her worries on that score. If she has kids that is likely to be a huge concern for her. Or finances? Or the care of pets? Or keeping her home in good order. Anything you can do to ease her mind will be a blessing.
    One idea I love is making up a basket of wrapped g i f t s (you can go as simple or as elaborate as your budget allows), each one to be opened at some milestone along the way. Look for reasons to celebrate.
    God bless you and your sister.
  • rjjj
    rjjj Member Posts: 1,822 Member
    #3
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    zahalene said:

    Of course,
    your unconditional love and support are what your sister needs more than anything right now. Try to be her 'soft place' to fall. She needs someone who will be accepting and understanding when she is mad, sad, scared, and all those other things that are part and parcel of this disease that sometimes keep us from being at our best.
    More specifically, try to find out what bothers her the most about her day-to-day situation and help ease her worries on that score. If she has kids that is likely to be a huge concern for her. Or finances? Or the care of pets? Or keeping her home in good order. Anything you can do to ease her mind will be a blessing.
    One idea I love is making up a basket of wrapped g i f t s (you can go as simple or as elaborate as your budget allows), each one to be opened at some milestone along the way. Look for reasons to celebrate.
    God bless you and your sister.

    just be there
    I agree with all that Zahalene, your love and support and just being there for her are the most important things you could do. Maybe she could come here also for support when she is ready. Please tell her we would love to meet her.
    God Bless, Jackie
  • whichwitch
    whichwitch Member Posts: 42
    #4
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    thank you so much for the
    thank you so much for the ideas. She has been all over the web and has a group she is with now. I need support in order to best help her. this place looks so friendly and so full of support for each other. Thank for answering back and i will be her soft place to fall.
  • padee6339
    padee6339 Member Posts: 763
    #5
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    whichwitch said:

    thank you so much for the
    thank you so much for the ideas. She has been all over the web and has a group she is with now. I need support in order to best help her. this place looks so friendly and so full of support for each other. Thank for answering back and i will be her soft place to fall.

    Support
    I tried to convey to my Mom (who stayed with me thru all my treatments) that I just needed a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to me, and give me lots of hugs. I'm sure she's happy because you are there for her. She is very fortunate to have you. I will keep you both in my prayers.
    Pat
  • Kat11
    Kat11 Member Posts: 1,931 Member
    #6
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    whichwitch said:

    thank you so much for the
    thank you so much for the ideas. She has been all over the web and has a group she is with now. I need support in order to best help her. this place looks so friendly and so full of support for each other. Thank for answering back and i will be her soft place to fall.

    Hi whichwitch, Sometimes is
    Hi whichwitch, Sometimes is is just as hard for the person who is the supporter as it is for the one is sick. I am sure your sister knows that she can count on you and I think its just great that you are looking for more ways in order to help her. Welcome
  • tasha_111
    tasha_111 Member Posts: 2,072
    #7
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    Kat11 said:

    Hi whichwitch, Sometimes is
    Hi whichwitch, Sometimes is is just as hard for the person who is the supporter as it is for the one is sick. I am sure your sister knows that she can count on you and I think its just great that you are looking for more ways in order to help her. Welcome

    Hi W W
    You are doing great.. Support and just someone being there with her must be a nice feeling. Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx
  • lolad
    lolad Member Posts: 670
    #8
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    tasha_111 said:

    Hi W W
    You are doing great.. Support and just someone being there with her must be a nice feeling. Hugs Jxxxxxxxxxx

    I wanted to tell you that
    I wanted to tell you that you are a wonderful sister. Support from someone on the outside is so important to us when we are battling this evil. Just continue to love and support her. Sounds like you are doing a great job at that. I liked the gift basket idea someone suggested, that would be a great idea. Make sure you take care of yourself too. I understand its hard to watch someone go through such a tough time. I watched my grandma struggle with breast cancer and sometimes i just didnt know what to say to her. Stay strong and make sure you have some kind of support for yourself too. God bless you both. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

    laura
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    #9
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    rjjj said:

    just be there
    I agree with all that Zahalene, your love and support and just being there for her are the most important things you could do. Maybe she could come here also for support when she is ready. Please tell her we would love to meet her.
    God Bless, Jackie

    I agree with Jackie and Zah.
    I agree with Jackie and Zah. Just give her your support and love.

    That is the greatest g i f t she could get from you!

    Good luck to her!

    Jeanne
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #10
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    Try giving a bit of normal....
    Think about something she used to do 'bc' (before cancer). Maybe something a simple as a walk in the park, or a massage (there ARE massage therapists that specialize on cancer patients), or even rent a chick flick, pop some corn, and have a 'girl' day....

    You are a kind and loving sister! I know she feels that, too!

    When my sister was diagnosed with anal cancer, 2 years after my rectal cancer, she and I would talk about treatments, etc, but also about going to the spa, or the gym, or whatever. She lives far away from me, so we couldn't be like you and your sister...but one of the things my sister shared was how great it was to talk about 'normal' things (like our funny mom....ROFL!).

    BIG hugs, Kathi
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    #11
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    Yes,Which,
    normalcy for us is always a good thing! Right after I was diagnosed,a friend who knows how much I love Starbucks called me to ask what I would like from there and brought over a couple of coffees and we had some great girl talk-a little cancer talk,but mainly getting caught up on our lives. It was wonderful!
    And don't ever be afraid to talk about your life too when you guys get together-it will take her mind off of what's going on with her...
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    #12
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    What a wonderful supportive
    What a wonderful supportive sister you are... Just your being there is a wonderful gift. I can't offer any suggestions, but I know others can..

    Hugs

    ~T
  • SamuraiMom
    SamuraiMom Member Posts: 295
    #13
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    taleena said:

    What a wonderful supportive
    What a wonderful supportive sister you are... Just your being there is a wonderful gift. I can't offer any suggestions, but I know others can..

    Hugs

    ~T

    Sisters Rule
    I was just diagnosed with breast cancer and the best support I've gotten from friends were the ones who were honest about how much it sucked and that they would be there for me. No pity, only friendship,honesty and laughter. You're totally on track. The pity calls I've rec'd since being diagnosed on 7/28 were depressing. She's so lucky to have a sister like you! XXOO- JoJo
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #14
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    What a wonderful sister you
    What a wonderful sister you are! I would say going with her to apts. and treatments is priceless. These can be very anxiety ridden, and depressing and to have someone who loves you there with you makes all the difference in the world.

    I would also say that helping your sister with any chores/responsibilities that can cause pressure or stress would be great like; writing out and mailing bills, keeping up with cleaning and chores, car maintainance etc.

    You are a blessing to care so much for your sister. Facing and dealing with cancer is so incredibly frightening, stressful and relentless. I can't tell you how comforting it is to have someone that you know is there for you no matter what. God bless.
  • aztec45
    aztec45 Member Posts: 757
    #15
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    You're a Great Sister
    Sounds like to me that you are doing a great job just being by her side. The fact that you are there for her through the good and bad and love her no matter how she looks or feels is just the greatest gift you can give her. We all could use someone like you in our corner.

    Like someone else said, make sure you take care of yourself. You can't take care of her if you are not well.

    I also agree that if your sister feels up to it, do something fun to take your minds off of cancer if just for a few moments.

    Take care.

    P
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    #16
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    You are........
    You are a wonderful and caring sister. When all is said and done, it will be your love that means the most...

    Hugs,

    CR
  • tjhay
    tjhay Member Posts: 655
    #17
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    CR1954 said:

    You are........
    You are a wonderful and caring sister. When all is said and done, it will be your love that means the most...

    Hugs,

    CR

    I agree with normal
    I agree with normal, when i as in treatment i hated being treated like an invalid, was bad enough I felt like on, last thing i wanted though was to be reminded all the time. Come up with some normal stuff you 2 can do why you are togeather, it dont have to be huge just normal everyday sister stuff.
    You also have my respect for standing by your sister like you have, so many of us have experinced the fire drill syndrom, in case your wondering cancer is the fire alarm and everyone files out in a orderly fasion why you stand there going uh hello.
    tjhay
  • Kylez
    Kylez Member Posts: 3,761 Member
    #18
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    CR1954 said:

    You are........
    You are a wonderful and caring sister. When all is said and done, it will be your love that means the most...

    Hugs,

    CR

    Hi! I think what CR says is
    Hi! I think what CR says is perfect!

    Kylez

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