went to the onc today

I saw my oncologist today to discuss my PET scan results (which I had posted on Friday that I got the results for already- new spots on my lungs and one area in my liver).
Anyhow, the visit was good & we discussed all aspects of my situation, treatments, options, etc. Due to the number of widespread nodules of small size in the lungs, surgery or radiation/cyberknife are not options for me right now. As I had anticipated, I'll be starting up the irinotecan again. Rather than continuing the Xeloda along with it, I'm instead going to have the 5FU pump again. As much as I really, really hate the idea of that pump again, I feel it probably is the more sure option to go with of the two. I had been wondering about absorption issues possibly interfering with taking the Xeloda. Since I have had some hand/foot syndrome (all foot, actually- no hand), we know it has been getting in my system. Most people apparently, however, have more problems w/ the hand/foot with the Xeloda than with the 5FU. Since it's been the reverse for me- my hand/foot syndrome and other side effects were far more profound with the 5FU pump than with the Xeloda, he was saying it's a possibility (although there's no for sure way to tell) that maybe I'm not getting the benefit of the drug as well with the Xeloda. He left the decision up to me as to which one to go on. Before deciding, I asked my onc, "Putting my opinions aside, which one would YOU feel better about me being on?" His answer was, "I'd feel more sure that you're getting the full dose if you went on the pump. If we're going to treat this aggressively, I think that would be best." So that decided it for me. My onc did say that if after a while, I really couldn't stand the pump anymore, then we could maybe switch back to Xeloda.

We also discussed options of taking other drugs and we both agreed that as long as irinotecan still works for me, we should continue that avenue rather than try something new with unknown results. I won't be able to have Erbitux or oxalyplatin again, so irinotecan is my last treatment option out of the approved treatments. I know there are clinical trials out there with other things, but I'll keep on w/ the irinotecan until/unless it stops working. One more thing my onc told me about irinotecan is that its toxicity level is lower than some and most patients can stay on it for a long time, with some breaks possible from time to time. I know that I'm at a point where I'll need to keep on taking something forever (unless I receive a miracle & I do believe in miracles!

I can do this and I felt very calm and level headed at my appt. today- thank you to so many of you for your prayers. It definitely also helped having gotten my PET results a few days ago, in that I had time to process it all and make my questions list.

Thanks for everyone's support and blessings to all of you-
Lisa