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roganjfr
roganjfr Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Caregivers #1
wife Deb is a 15 year breast-cancer survivor we need support help and guidance of another caregiver to help us a shoulder to cry on do the right thing and make the right decisions even if it means helping fill out certain forms a week to search out where we can pick up insurance my wife is being treated at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute they will continue to treat her without insurance that's a good thing I lost my job I was collecting unemployment when I was laid off I for them for Worker's Compensation because I hurt my back at work now I'm collecting Worker's Compensation claim very depressed in a very deep depression I've always been able to handle things now I feel like I'm losing it trying to sum this up in a few words I've tried different things talking to different people we just need help physically mentally and financially spiritually you name it we have a 15-year-old son feel most of his time I am so depressed it is very difficult for me to do anything so I'm wondering what kind of help is out there again helpless with things that we need my wife has 2 to 4 years to live she takes lots of medication I take lots of medication I am not so concerned about my own medication that I am hers life really sucks right now I feel like my life is ending as well I find it very difficult to even do anything I will write again probably most of what I'm saying I like to say more I have a eighth grade education I can't spell I use NaturallySpeaking software and even that's difficult just talk thanks for reading this jim.

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  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    #2
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    Jim, I know it all seems impossible now.
    But this is not a pill you and your family can swallow in one gulp.
    First of all, get help. Start by telling your wife's doctors about your problems with finances and emotions and day-to-day living problems. A great place like Dana-Farber will have social workers and counselors available for you. They will be able to steer you to other avenues of support.
    Also reach out to your and your wife's extended family and your friends and church family if that applies. This is not the time to be hesitant or embarrassed about asking for help. The people you encounter in your everyday life are there for a reason and you will be surprised how ready they are to help if they know specifically what you need them to do.
    And then look for ways to simplify your life. Cut down on those things you may have been spending time and energy on that are not helping the situation but only making the stress worse. Only you know what these things are.
    When you break this down into all it's various parts and assign each one a time and place in your life it makes it easier to plan and arrange your days into manageable portions.
    God bless and let us hear from you again.
  • sue Siwek
    sue Siwek Member Posts: 279
    #3
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    i agree with zhalene, but
    i agree with zhalene, but will also add that a 15 yr old needs attention and reassuring that no matter what you and your wife are there for him. he is more afraid than either of you. i can only imagine what a 15 yr old may be thinking about . the possible loss of his mother and fearful that his father is losing it. get help, see your family care doctor, get family counseling. our children were in their mid twenties and early thirties when their father was diagnosed with a brain tumor and they needed each other and all the help they could get to deal with it.
  • rwagner
    rwagner Member Posts: 11
    #4
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    today
    Jim,
    My wish for you is that you find one moment today to breathe deep and feel peace. I too experience overwhelming fear and panic at the thought of the future and the heartbreak ahead. I give myself a little time to cry, and then I pull myself back to this moment.
    I hope today you have one moment to look around yourself at your beautiful wife and your beautiful son and feel the joy of having them in your life today.
    Keep your heart open.
    Peace to you,
    R

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