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Dont know where to start!

Posts: 6
Joined: Jul 2009

MALT Non-Hodgkins stage IV Survivor. Diagnosed in early 2005, had 7 months of "CHOP" chemo treatments, that growth went into remission at end of the chemo, cancer came back 3 months later in back, had 12 radiation treatments, treatment was successful. Then went through over 2 yrs of rituxan treatments. Just had my "1st" 6 month check up, all still well. My problems are multi-fold. 1) side affects from vincristine drug caused poly nueropathy and have been since diagnosed diabetic, so now have double form of nueropathy problems. I can just sum this up by saying I feel worse now than I did before I had my treatments. Other then the pain in the stomach from the cancer and the throwing up, I otherwise felt fine. Compared to now, side affects from the drugs, bone spurs that have developed since diagnosis, arthritis and disk disease in back, carpal tunnel in both arms, planters fachitis (sp), to list just a few. and then 2) a husband that has been in denial since the onset of this medical condition. Trying to justify my feelings/conditions by blaming the drugs I currently take, which are maintenance drugs at this point. For diabetes, infusia port, and pain. Blames me for our debts, blames me for not being well after going through everything I've been through, blames me not being able to do things that I would have normally been able to do. I'm at my wits end !!!! The man did not and has not shown any compassion or concern from the beginning. And now all of sudden he's researching my drugs to try to explain what he thinks is the problem. But yet, when he has gone to the drs with me, he has sat in his chair with his legs stretched out in front of him, slumped in the seat with his hands folded in his lap, cap over his face as if he's going to take a nap. Did not pay attention to anything the drs. had to say and now 4 yrs later he's wanting to know why I'm not well and I am not able to do this or that!! Have been declared totally and permanent disabled due to cancer as it is incurable. Husband obviously doesn't know what "incurable" means as he recently told me "you act like you still have cancer".!!!! Well Duh!!!!! Anyone else out here having this same issue with their spouses? If so, how in the world do you cope with it and have you been successful in receiving help and where? Thanking you in advance for listening and any support someone can give. At my wits end here!

Posts: 19
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi I am sorry about your side effects I have some too. The worst is avascular nucrosis SP? in my femer.
I know they are awful I can't speak to the husband thing as mine died in 2004. I do wish he was here but I know that would not be perfect either. Just remember unless you have had cancer you can not understand. My children act as if everything is fine. I just want to say "you know this may not work out to well , I may relasp I am scare" but they do not want to hear that.

Take it easy Write again if you need to vent.


Posts: 5
Joined: Aug 2009


Some men cannot handle their wives being ill. You are right; he is in denial.
I am newly diagnosed and have joined a local support group. Do you have one in your
area? Perhaps they can give you the emotional support that you need right now.


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