sad and anxious abour cancer

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cmstyer
cmstyer Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
I am full of sadness, anxiety and lots of crying. I have finished my chemo and am back at work part time, but i feel so crappy. i am afraid of the future and so sad that I have cancer. Family is far away and I am looking for support wherever i can

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  • jane65
    jane65 Member Posts: 277
    #2
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    Glad you came here
    Hi,
    I'm so glad you came to this message board for support and we're here to assist you in any way we can.

    I'm so sorry that you have cancer, I completely understand your sadness and fear of the future, It's completely normal to feel that way.

    I assume that you had debulking surgery and you were staged after the pathology report came back,you have also completed your chemo and that's great too. Have you had a scan since you finished your chemo, I hope it was clear, if you'd like to share more information with us, we can discuss things knowing more about your situation.

    I was diagnosed with OVCA and staged 4B in 2007 and for the past month, I've been off chemo. I really needed a break, my last scan was clear and My CA125 was in the normal range.

    Feeling crappy is normal too, you've been through a very rough time and chemo takes a toll on the body. It will take time for your body to build up strength and return to working normally.

    The ladies on this board are a kind and compassionate group and I know you'll find the support your seeking.

    If you find a couple of minutes, please fill out your profile, it will give us an introduction to you.

    Feel better, and take care of yourself.
    Jane
  • blueroses
    blueroses Member Posts: 524
    #3
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    We are here for you Cmstyer
    I hear loud and clear where you are coming from with your posting. I am a 20 year survivor of non hodgkins lymphoma and because of a negative test recently I could be facing ovarian cancer in the not too distant future - its still unsure and I am holding out hope but the idea of going through all I did again is very frightening indeed. However I have to tell you that I did survive 18 years after my initial diagnosis with only one recurrance. Cancer can be beaten so please know that many survive the disease and go on to lead their lives without it.

    I don't know how long it was before you went back to work after treatment but it doesn't sound like you waited very long. I don't know what kind of treatment you had but with many forms of treatment with chemo and possibly radiation you can be very tired for a long time. Treatments are harsh and your body needs time to rally.

    I too have no family close to me and handling cancer on my own, if it turns out to be cancer again, is a daunting thought but with God's help I know I will make it. Do you have spirituality in your life? I know that without it I wouldn't have gotten through the first go at all well.

    You will find many people on this site to be very helpful and supportive, you have definitely come to the right place for support. You may get support from those around you which is great but there is nothing more validating and comforting than support from those of us who have been there and know where you are coming from. Be honest about your feelings and write as often as you like and someone will definitely answer you and share.

    At one point I was down and worried about myself a long time ago when I was going through it all and I sought out a psychiatrist who worked with cancer survivors/patients and she helped me a great deal. Don't be afraid to ask for professional help if you need it, sometimes it's the best thing to do. Some people seek counselling from their Ministers as well so whatever might work for you best is great. If not then as I said before do come to this site and we all would be happy to be there for you. Blessings, Blueroses.
  • carol2dogs
    carol2dogs Member Posts: 132
    #4
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    Thanks for your honesty
    Hi, Cmstyer.
    I too am glad you came here and I would like to echo the comments from Jane and Blueroses. It may seem counter-intuitive, but it actually is normal to have more depression following the completion of chemo than during treatment. You had all of that attention from medical personnel and friends/co-workers during treatment, and now, bam, you're just supposed to return to normal instantly. I am Stage 3c, on my second recurrence. After my first round of chemo, I experienced lots of depression. I was so surprised - it "should not" happen like this! Please talk to your doctor about getting some anti-depressants or other medications as needed. Counseling can be very beneficial - look for someone with experience working with cancer patients. Please continue coming here, we will listen and support you.
    Love and hugs, Carol
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #5
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    I'm with Carol2dogs
    I think most of us have depression at some time during the treatment. How are you sleeping? Talk to your oncologist about it and many of us are using anti depressives/anti anxiety pills to help us through this battle. I am Stage IV so it will be a long fight for me. Saundra
  • mopar
    mopar Member Posts: 1,972 Member
    #6
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    YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE!
    You will definitely find hugs, support and advice here. Don't expect too much from yourself right now. Our bodies go through so much with surgery, treatments, etc. And then we don't understand when our emotions haven't 'recovered'. We try to get back to a normal life (work, etc.) and we must realize it takes time. The best you can do for yourself right now is to take care of yourself nutritionally and physically. Try to eat well - 4 or 5 small meals a day is great. It maintains your blood sugar which sometimes can cause depression if it's low. My thyroid became really low after chemo. That caused me to be very fatigued, have low blood pressure, weight gain, and just an overall feeling of 'blah'! You might want to think about some vitamins to help support your recovery.

    Did you exercise before? If so, try to slowly get back into it. Otherwise, just a nice evening stroll before bed. It can help to relax you. Maybe a morning or mid-day walk will help. It can increase endorphins, the 'feel good' brain chemical. Do you have any hobbies? Reading, crafting, etc.? Finding something creative can take your mind off things and give you a sense of accomplishment.

    As for having cancer, unfortunately it will always be in the back of our minds, hopefully not always in the forefront. So worrying about the future, only robs you of the joys of the present. And it creates tons of anxiety. Try to live in the moment. Don't look too far ahead, and try not to look back, only in the sense of appreciating what you have come through and that you are a SURVIVOR!

    There's more I could say, but I'm sure you get the point. And I sure hope it helps. I also want to say that my Faith was the most important element that got me through this. I spent many nights (and days) praying for strength and thanking the Lord for bringing me through some very rough moments. That brought me a lot of comfort, along with my family.

    Visit here again and let us know how you're doing. You are now a member of an elite group of Survivors! WELCOME!

    Hugs & Prayers,
    Monika
  • jane65
    jane65 Member Posts: 277
    #7
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    carol2dogs said:

    Thanks for your honesty
    Hi, Cmstyer.
    I too am glad you came here and I would like to echo the comments from Jane and Blueroses. It may seem counter-intuitive, but it actually is normal to have more depression following the completion of chemo than during treatment. You had all of that attention from medical personnel and friends/co-workers during treatment, and now, bam, you're just supposed to return to normal instantly. I am Stage 3c, on my second recurrence. After my first round of chemo, I experienced lots of depression. I was so surprised - it "should not" happen like this! Please talk to your doctor about getting some anti-depressants or other medications as needed. Counseling can be very beneficial - look for someone with experience working with cancer patients. Please continue coming here, we will listen and support you.
    Love and hugs, Carol

    Carol
    Hi Carol,
    I'm so glad you expressed what I've secretly been feeling. You're so right that when we're diagnosed, have surgery and chemo, we're the center of attention with family and the medical community, all fussing over us. When chemo is over, we're just a person again and it's definitely a let down. I'm also on an anti depressant, and it helps to even me out.
    Thanks for saying what I've been quietly feeling.
    Jane
  • kayandok
    kayandok Member Posts: 1,202 Member
    #8
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    Support
    Dear cmstyer, I understand how you feel. I have felt very isolated off and on. I live in Japan and am also far away from family and friends there. I did find a very supportive network here, but it did take a bit of time. The ladies have all had such great suggestions, so I can't add much, but just to say get some help and take care of yourself. There is hope and there is love and support right there, here on this board and places you are not looking for right now. Open yourself up to receiving it.
    I'm praying for peace of mind and clear thinking today so you an reach out for help.
    Hang in there.
    Warm hugs,
    kathleen:)

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