new diagnosis

prv
prv Member Posts: 107
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
i have just been diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma. I have had bilateral mastectomies with lymph node removal showing two positive nodes. i am awaiting bone scan / ct scan to rule out mets. i am a single mom to an adopted seven year old who has already lost two parents. I can't sleep and i am very scared and don't know what to do.
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Comments

  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    Welcome
    We understand. And we care. And we can help.
    You have begun your treatment plan and that is step 1.
    You came here (smart move)...step 2.
    Next will come a series of steps, each of which will be accomplished one day at a time, breathing deeply, and gaining confidence with each victory gained.
    You will struggle with some issues more than others, you will cry, laugh (seriously), know fear, find peace, and amaze yourself with the new knowledge of how strong you can be when life throws you a curve.
    You will make new friends here and some will become life-long. You will get information, have questions answered, rant, post and post and post, and you will be a vibrant part of a community of loving supportive people.
    And one day, sooner than you now think possible, you will read a post titled...'new diagnosis'...and you will respond with all the wisdom you have gained here, 'paying it forward' so that another woman can find her way on this path that now seems so dark and scary.
    And you will say 'I am blessed'.
    Grace and mercy.
  • sausageroll
    sausageroll Member Posts: 415
    zahalene said:

    Welcome
    We understand. And we care. And we can help.
    You have begun your treatment plan and that is step 1.
    You came here (smart move)...step 2.
    Next will come a series of steps, each of which will be accomplished one day at a time, breathing deeply, and gaining confidence with each victory gained.
    You will struggle with some issues more than others, you will cry, laugh (seriously), know fear, find peace, and amaze yourself with the new knowledge of how strong you can be when life throws you a curve.
    You will make new friends here and some will become life-long. You will get information, have questions answered, rant, post and post and post, and you will be a vibrant part of a community of loving supportive people.
    And one day, sooner than you now think possible, you will read a post titled...'new diagnosis'...and you will respond with all the wisdom you have gained here, 'paying it forward' so that another woman can find her way on this path that now seems so dark and scary.
    And you will say 'I am blessed'.
    Grace and mercy.

    Wonderful reply Zahalene
    I could not say it better!

    These days will be very scary..but I agree..take it one day at a time. I hope you have some help with your son. What you do have is help from friends here...you can tell us how you are feeling and there will always be somone who understands and can give some comfort. Take good care of yourself and keep in touch.

    Pat
  • outdoorgirl
    outdoorgirl Member Posts: 1,565
    Welcome to the group
    Prv,though I am sorry that you have to be here.I can't imagine what it's like to be in your situation.
    Yes,this is something that you have to take one step at a time. But can I offer hope to you in knowing that we have all heard those words"you've got breast cancer",we have either been down that long road or are just going down it,and you are not alone.Cancer doesn't necessarily mean a death sentence anymore! Doctors know more and are better at treating it.
    I hope that your bone scan/ct scan comes back clean.
    You will make it through. Right now I know it is all very overwhelming and scary though.
    We can help you here with advice,encouragement,and a listening(cyber)ear!
    As I am typing this,I am sending a prayer your way!
    Hang in there.
    Patty
  • chickad52
    chickad52 Member Posts: 497
    Prayers to you
    prv, I agree with all of the comments, They were nicely said. One day at a time. I was newly dx in April. Prayer to you and your son!! Diane
  • taleena
    taleena Member Posts: 1,612 Member
    prv.... I am so sorry to
    prv.... I am so sorry to hear about your dx. But I am glad that you found this site. Of course your scared... all of us have been there at one time or another... You have come to a great place to receive support, get information from others who have walked a path similar to yours, and others on completely different treatment paths.. but all of us having the commonality of the "beast"... bc..

    Please come here often..post whenever you need... the people here are wonderful, you will find friendship, comfort, and laughter....things that we ALL need.

    Take care... and gentle hugs to you.

    ~T
  • prv
    prv Member Posts: 107
    zahalene said:

    Welcome
    We understand. And we care. And we can help.
    You have begun your treatment plan and that is step 1.
    You came here (smart move)...step 2.
    Next will come a series of steps, each of which will be accomplished one day at a time, breathing deeply, and gaining confidence with each victory gained.
    You will struggle with some issues more than others, you will cry, laugh (seriously), know fear, find peace, and amaze yourself with the new knowledge of how strong you can be when life throws you a curve.
    You will make new friends here and some will become life-long. You will get information, have questions answered, rant, post and post and post, and you will be a vibrant part of a community of loving supportive people.
    And one day, sooner than you now think possible, you will read a post titled...'new diagnosis'...and you will respond with all the wisdom you have gained here, 'paying it forward' so that another woman can find her way on this path that now seems so dark and scary.
    And you will say 'I am blessed'.
    Grace and mercy.

    thank you
    thank you, for writing to me, zahalene. I finally had a good cry after reading what you wrote. My little girl has been with my brother about an hour away for two weeks and hopefully she can come home this weekend. I am afraid that she will be scared too. I have a very good oncologist and think I will recieve good care. I know i will be getting chemo (8 weeks) and likely radiation due to the lymph nodes. thank you for your kind words.

    prv
  • CR1954
    CR1954 Member Posts: 1,390 Member
    Hello and welcome prv.......
    I'm very glad that you found us.

    Everything that Zah said! You will find comfort and support here, along with answers.

    Big hugs,

    CR
  • Jadie
    Jadie Member Posts: 723
    prv said:

    thank you
    thank you, for writing to me, zahalene. I finally had a good cry after reading what you wrote. My little girl has been with my brother about an hour away for two weeks and hopefully she can come home this weekend. I am afraid that she will be scared too. I have a very good oncologist and think I will recieve good care. I know i will be getting chemo (8 weeks) and likely radiation due to the lymph nodes. thank you for your kind words.

    prv

    Zah that was beautiful
    Hi prv and welcome. Zah said it all and so beautifully. Your daughter is going to react to you the same way you react to her. It's not easy to act brave when inside you feel like you are falling into a million pieces. We are here for you when you feel like venting, have questions or just want to talk.

    Jadie<3
  • debs615
    debs615 Member Posts: 5
    I think being scared is part
    I think being scared is part of this whole unexpected journey. I am waiting right now to have bilateral with expanders on July 13. I have to have positive nodes removed too. The fear and anxiety are overwhelming. But I am trying to tackle on day atr a time. I have no choice! I have 2 daughters 24 &22. I fear for them too. But I will fight. My shrink told me I was born to be a warrior with all the adversity I have faced. Can your doc prescibe xnanx or something? It has really helped me calm down.

    Debbie
  • zahalene
    zahalene Member Posts: 670
    prv said:

    thank you
    thank you, for writing to me, zahalene. I finally had a good cry after reading what you wrote. My little girl has been with my brother about an hour away for two weeks and hopefully she can come home this weekend. I am afraid that she will be scared too. I have a very good oncologist and think I will recieve good care. I know i will be getting chemo (8 weeks) and likely radiation due to the lymph nodes. thank you for your kind words.

    prv

    Your little girl...
    will take her cue from you on this issue. My daughter was 12 and son was 1 1/2 when I was diagnosed. One was too young to understand much at all and the other understood only too well!
    Be honest (age appropriately) with your daughter but strive to keep her life as normal and on-schedule as possible. Don't dwell on the negative aspects of treatment but explain that the medicine is working hard to remove the 'sick cells' from your body and so it makes you feel tired or 'yukky' sometimes (or whatever symptoms might be noticeable to her). Don't try to answer her questions before she asks them. We can't know where our little ones are in their thinking until they give us some cues. Then answer as positively as possible.
    She is seven years old...be prepared for the 'are you going to die' question. This is a real concern for children her age when a parent so much as gets a cold or cuts their finger. And your little one has a special challenge in view of her past experience with loosing her first parents. You will want to think ahead and decide how to help her understand that this is not connected to the loss of her parents.
    At some point some professional counseling might be helpful to both you and her. You do not need to try to bear all the burden alone. In fact, do not ever hesitate to ask for help in any area during your treatment and recovery. I hope you have a good family/support system available for the daily issues of living as well as the emotional support that is so valuable in crisis times. Not everyone in your life may respond as you expect them to, but look for a 'rock' among your closest connections whom you can call any time, day or night, for whatever need presents itself.
    Once you have your 'survival machine' well oiled and running smoothly, you will be able to move through the process with confidence that you are doing all you can do and that will give you a measure of valuable peace that will empower you to live above circumstances.
    God bless. Keep posting!
  • Akiss4me
    Akiss4me Member Posts: 2,188
    zahalene said:

    Welcome
    We understand. And we care. And we can help.
    You have begun your treatment plan and that is step 1.
    You came here (smart move)...step 2.
    Next will come a series of steps, each of which will be accomplished one day at a time, breathing deeply, and gaining confidence with each victory gained.
    You will struggle with some issues more than others, you will cry, laugh (seriously), know fear, find peace, and amaze yourself with the new knowledge of how strong you can be when life throws you a curve.
    You will make new friends here and some will become life-long. You will get information, have questions answered, rant, post and post and post, and you will be a vibrant part of a community of loving supportive people.
    And one day, sooner than you now think possible, you will read a post titled...'new diagnosis'...and you will respond with all the wisdom you have gained here, 'paying it forward' so that another woman can find her way on this path that now seems so dark and scary.
    And you will say 'I am blessed'.
    Grace and mercy.

    Sniff, sniff....
    Zahalene, you said it so beautifully that it brought tears to my eyes (OK, full blown boohooing here!). But in a good way. I found myself saying "yes, yes, yes!! That is me!!" as I was reading your post.....thank you! :) Pammy
  • Jeanne D
    Jeanne D Member Posts: 1,867
    CR1954 said:

    Hello and welcome prv.......
    I'm very glad that you found us.

    Everything that Zah said! You will find comfort and support here, along with answers.

    Big hugs,

    CR

    Welcome
    Welcome to the site prv, but, sorry you are here because of bc. You will find support and comfort here with all of us bc survivors! I have to agree with what Zah wrote too. Keep us updated! Good luck! Hugs, Jeanne
  • Moopy23
    Moopy23 Member Posts: 1,751 Member
    Prv, I cannot add more to
    Prv, I cannot add more to what these ladies have written, especially Zahalene., but I do want to send my best wishes to you.

    Also, as Patty wrote, we have all been down that road, the one that begins with the breast cancer diagnosis. We know the fear and the inability to sleep. So you have come to the right place for understanding and support in the days and nights ahead. Please let us know when you find out your scan results. In the meantime, as another sister here suggested, you might consider asking your doc. for an anti-anxiety med, such as Zanax. It will help with sleeping as well as the anxiety. And I am speaking from experience, as are we all.

    Sending best wishes and positive thoughts to you.
  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    Moopy23 said:

    Prv, I cannot add more to
    Prv, I cannot add more to what these ladies have written, especially Zahalene., but I do want to send my best wishes to you.

    Also, as Patty wrote, we have all been down that road, the one that begins with the breast cancer diagnosis. We know the fear and the inability to sleep. So you have come to the right place for understanding and support in the days and nights ahead. Please let us know when you find out your scan results. In the meantime, as another sister here suggested, you might consider asking your doc. for an anti-anxiety med, such as Zanax. It will help with sleeping as well as the anxiety. And I am speaking from experience, as are we all.

    Sending best wishes and positive thoughts to you.

    Sending you my best wishes
    Sending you my best wishes and prayers! Please update us! Hugs, Lex
  • tommaseena
    tommaseena Member Posts: 1,769
    Alexis F said:

    Sending you my best wishes
    Sending you my best wishes and prayers! Please update us! Hugs, Lex

    I have a child
    I have a son who is almost 6 and when I was diagnosed in December 2008 I was honest with him. I did not mention anything about death to him. I spoke honest with him about the cancer and the surgery and the treatment that I would be going through.

    You will be amazed at what they understand. Jake knows that my hair fell out because of the chemo medicine they give me and that I am getting better. He rubs my head now that my hair is coming in and it is soft.

    There are great books out there for children and helps explain everything in a gentle way.

    Hugs to you.
    Margo
  • cats_toy
    cats_toy Member Posts: 1,462 Member
    welcome prv
    Glad you found us, sounds like you have already gotten some wonderful advice from a bunch of wonderful people that are on this site. Let us know how it goes and keep as positive thoughts as possible.

    =^..^=
  • Christmas Girl
    Christmas Girl Member Posts: 3,682 Member
    Welcome, prv
    Welcome to the group. We're all here to support and encourage each other.

    As always, zahalene's posts are so eloquently worded and full of such valuable wisdom - there's nothing else I can possibly add.

    Best wishes to you.

    Kind regards, Susan
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member

    Welcome, prv
    Welcome to the group. We're all here to support and encourage each other.

    As always, zahalene's posts are so eloquently worded and full of such valuable wisdom - there's nothing else I can possibly add.

    Best wishes to you.

    Kind regards, Susan

    Welcoming you prv to the
    Welcoming you prv to the site! Zahlene has said it the best, as always! Good luck!
  • aurora2009
    aurora2009 Member Posts: 544 Member
    Noel said:

    Welcoming you prv to the
    Welcoming you prv to the site! Zahlene has said it the best, as always! Good luck!

    There;s no way to say it any better than Zahalene
    Welcome PRV, as you can see you've come to the right place for love, understanding and real support. I just wanted to welcome you, and let you know there is always some one here, at all stages of the fight, When ever you feel like you need us we'll be here for you.

    Aurora
  • maryannrogers
    maryannrogers Member Posts: 115

    There;s no way to say it any better than Zahalene
    Welcome PRV, as you can see you've come to the right place for love, understanding and real support. I just wanted to welcome you, and let you know there is always some one here, at all stages of the fight, When ever you feel like you need us we'll be here for you.

    Aurora

    Absolutely, Zahalene said it
    Absolutely, Zahalene said it all. You have come to the right place. They are sincere, caring, and so much more that I can't even describe. You will be lifted up here and we will all carry you.

    Love,
    Maryann