The GIFT of Helping One Another

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Sundanceh
Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
I just had a beautiful experience just happen to me that I wanted to share with everybody.

I just got in from work and my doorbell rang. One of my neighbors offered to help MOW my lawn for me this Friday, a day he was taking off. I've got a big corner lot with a big yard, so this is no small task. I've never been one to ask for help and am reluctant to accept it, because I do not wish to burden people with my problems - we each have so many of our own.

But, here's the beautiful thing about this man's kindness...he offered to do it to help us on his Day Off and did not ask..."If you need anything just call me." He just showed up and said I'm here to help. That's beautiful and the way it should be done....of course, we need help when we're sick...just show up or call and be there if you really want to help someone. To me when people say "If you need anything, just let me know" it just throws the burden right back on you. That's just my take on it, I know others would disagree, but it's only my opinion.

I just do things or send things, or help people proactively and that's what makes it a
G I F T. You just Do It and do it for the right reasons. When you ask if there is anything that can be done, to me, that is like a debt that I now would have to call and butt into your time to see if you can help me. Which means I never do that, because sometimes people mean it and sometimes they do not....it just makes a nice Exit line.

But this guy, he's really something. That really warmed my heart this evening and I'm going to send him a letter and do something for his family for his compassion and kindness....you don't find that around here too much anymore.

A year ago, he cooked or I should say BBQ'd brisket and chicken and just came over and gave it to me, no strings attached....that's people helping each other in the right way.

I was just so moved that I had to come back to the PC and post this.

People can be so many things, but every now and then, you stumble on some really good people that are in it just to be in it, to help just to help and expecting nothing. To me, that's the greatest!

Ok, just thought I'd share that.

Have a wonderful evening!

-Craig

Comments

  • VickiCO
    VickiCO Member Posts: 917
    #2
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    Beautiful Craig
    I have often said of my journey, I now know who are acquaintances, who are friends and who are now members of my "family." We have several friends who do just that...show up and do, not ask, just do. My best friend flew out from Illinois after my surgery. She did not arrange it with me, she just showed up and took charge, knowing my husband had to work and was overwhelmed. I will be forever grateful.

    Glad you have such a caring, kind neighbor.

    Many hugs, Vicki
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #3
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    Precious
    That's such a precious gift. Thanks for sharing the story!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #4
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    tootsie1 said:

    Precious
    That's such a precious gift. Thanks for sharing the story!

    *hugs*
    Gail

    Kindness
    Isn't is surprising how some people just come to your aid and need. That is so awesome that he is doing that.

    Kim
  • kmygil
    kmygil Member Posts: 876 Member
    #5
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    Lovely People
    You're so right, Craig! I remember both times I was in the hospital for surgery. I knew I would be feeling like roadkill, so I urged everyone to stay away, convinced I meant it. Well, two friends kept showing up anyway, and even though I was feeling so bad I couldn't really communicate, I was comforted so much by their presence and their fussing over me. These same friends came and cleaned my house while I was recuperating and brought food etc. I didn't ask. They just did it. All others gave the "exit line", as you put it, and I never called because I didn't want to be under obligation. But the friends who just showed up and did stuff were and are a total blessing to me!

    Kirsten
  • Shayenne
    Shayenne Member Posts: 2,342
    #6
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    kmygil said:

    Lovely People
    You're so right, Craig! I remember both times I was in the hospital for surgery. I knew I would be feeling like roadkill, so I urged everyone to stay away, convinced I meant it. Well, two friends kept showing up anyway, and even though I was feeling so bad I couldn't really communicate, I was comforted so much by their presence and their fussing over me. These same friends came and cleaned my house while I was recuperating and brought food etc. I didn't ask. They just did it. All others gave the "exit line", as you put it, and I never called because I didn't want to be under obligation. But the friends who just showed up and did stuff were and are a total blessing to me!

    Kirsten

    I agree...
    I always hated when friends said "Let me know what I can do to help", and then you don't hear from them again, I just don't like calling people and asking for their help, I'd rather they just call me still as a friend even, they don't even do that anymore except for a couple who are out of state.

    I know some people are shy, and may not know what to do for you, or what you can eat, and maybe feel like they can't just show up because it may be a sick day for you, and don't want to upset you, I know there's two sides to that story, but that's where, if they stick around as friends, and you mention how you are, what you like, what you eat, what your favorite this and that is, maybe then they would just show up with it.

    That was wonderful of your neighbor to do that, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when they do that, and I bet it makes them happy to know they are helping as well, doing their good deeds! You have a sweet neighbor, maybe you make him a batch of brownies or something :)

    Hugsss!
    ~Donna
  • luv3jay
    luv3jay Member Posts: 533 Member
    #7
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    I love those random acts of
    I love those random acts of kindness! The same thing happened to me, only I came home and noticed my grass had been cut. I looked across the street and one of my neighbors was cutting his grass, so I asked him who my "secret santa" was. He told me that, at his wife's insistance, he and two other neighbors pitched in to cut, weed and whatever else they do! And even raked and bagged! I was so moved I started crying right there in the street! He called his wife out and I just hugged and hugged and hugged. It turns out that HER mother passed away a few years ago from CR cancer and they always check on me and make sure I'm okay.

    You are right...it's so wonderful to have people who just help for no other reason but to show love. I'm glad you started this thread...I love reading how there are so many "good" people still left in this world.
  • ADKer
    ADKer Member Posts: 147
    #8
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    luv3jay said:

    I love those random acts of
    I love those random acts of kindness! The same thing happened to me, only I came home and noticed my grass had been cut. I looked across the street and one of my neighbors was cutting his grass, so I asked him who my "secret santa" was. He told me that, at his wife's insistance, he and two other neighbors pitched in to cut, weed and whatever else they do! And even raked and bagged! I was so moved I started crying right there in the street! He called his wife out and I just hugged and hugged and hugged. It turns out that HER mother passed away a few years ago from CR cancer and they always check on me and make sure I'm okay.

    You are right...it's so wonderful to have people who just help for no other reason but to show love. I'm glad you started this thread...I love reading how there are so many "good" people still left in this world.

    Talk is cheap
    You are right although I will add that I have one sister who literally called me almost every day for the first several months after my diagnosis to ask what she could do to help. She lives far away and truly did not know what she might be able to do that would be helpful. That, however, is different from saying call if you need anything over one's shoulderr on the way out the door. Although some of the people who say call if you need anything sincerely want to help, it is difficult to actually ask for the help. A friend who had made the generic offer of help to me and was not asked for anything recently sent me a card listing the best dinner dishes in her repetroire and telling me she just needs a little advance notice. If I have surgery again, I will ask for her help.

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