CSN Login
Members Online: 7

Miss my Dad...

pumpkin97
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

I'm 11 years old my name is Liz and I lost my dad a year ago to lung and stomach cancer. Life now is harder than I thought it be, but I'm just as stuburn as my dad was when it comes to letting pain get to me. Today for some reason is harder than usual, for me things that remind me of him make me sad.

Always,
Liz

taleena's picture
taleena
Posts: 1612
Joined: May 2009

Miss. Liz...You are such a brave girl..I am so proud of you.. I know people will respond to your post...they understand your loss too. So many changes in such a short time.. but you are strong... and beautiful and your daddy would be and is very proud of you. I know finding out Aunt T has breast cancer scares you.. but we will fight it honey.. and we will win!

I love you.

Aunt T

pumpkin97
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

aunt t your right, just glad you told me and i didn't have to force it out of you like i did w/my dad. you better fight this, and hard to beacuse if you don't (well there is no IF) i won't be able to handle it.

Always,
Liz

fauxma's picture
fauxma
Posts: 3532
Joined: Dec 2008

Pumpkin,
You have been through a lot, more than an eleven year old should have to go through. But your aunt is a tough, caring fighter. And as far as handling things, you will handle what you need to handle. If you have questions for your aunt ask them. I am sure she will do her best to always answer you honestly. It's hard for us when our loved ones have to fight this with us, especially when they are young in years. But you seem old in your ability to understand and that is good. I lost my father when I was very young. It was sudden and it was the most difficult thing that I have ever had to deal with. If I had then had another close relative ill it would have been triple hard to deal with. But a strong family can help you through this. Talk with them. Your aunt, your cousins, your best friends. Write a journal and let the words flow. Both about your dad and your aunt. And don't worry about what you write, this is for you. I wrote daily in a journal after my father died. It wasn't always pretty. I was sad, angry, scared and writing about it helped. There were just things I couldn't say to my mom because she was greiving too. But don't let the feelings get bottled up. And if you ever feel overwhelmed then go to someone you love and trust and tell them. Talking is good also. You are a brave, mature, tough little pumpkin and you will get through this. Pumpkin was my daughter's nickname when she was younger.
STef

pumpkin97
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

o

Eil4186's picture
Eil4186
Posts: 967
Joined: Dec 2007

Hi, You have been through so much. Your Aunt is right, she will fight and win. You are very strong and I know your Dad is bursting with pride over you. I know though, you must feel very frightened at times. Your family is there for you and their love can be your strength. Hang in there, everything will be ok. You will be in my thoughts and prayer. Eileen

Christmas Girl's picture
Christmas Girl
Posts: 3643
Joined: Apr 2009

Wow, I'm really impressed! I've been on this site for a while, and haven't seen a post from anyone as young as you. I'm an adult, and I bet you're much, much smarter than me about computers! :-)

I know your Aunt T from another subject board. She's a very special person, and loves you very much. I'm here because I want to reassure you that she will be fine. She has many treatments ahead of her still, and they won't be easy; but, I really, truly believe that when everything is done and over with - she'll be OK. My own illness wasn't very different than hers. And for me, that was almost six years ago. My doctor continues to tell me that I will live for a very long time. Of course, you are worried about your aunt. But, please try not to be scared that you might lose her.

Little Liz, I am so, so sorry about your Dad. Yes, it's terribly sad. And awfully hard. He was your Aunt T's brother; and, she misses him, too. But, he was your Dad. Your aunt will not leave you. She'll always be there for you. Your Dad didn't have that chance - your aunt does. There is nothing fair about cancer. Your Dad got a really bad type, and it certainly wasn't his fault. Cancer doesn't work that way.

Everything will be OK, Liz. Go ahead, you be as stubborn as you want. Especially stubborn in your belief that Aunt T will get better, and continue to take good care of you, always.

Kind regards, Susan

dmc_emmy's picture
dmc_emmy
Posts: 549
Joined: May 2009

Liz,

I know that it doesn't seem fair, but I truly believe that we are never given more than we can handle. Losing your dad is something that seems beyond what any child should have to deal with, but remember you don't have to do it alone.

This year, one of my student's (age 19) lost his dad to cancer, too. They were very close and he told me that he misses all the things they once did together. But, one day, my student did something very special. He wrote a poem about his dad and he read it to a small group of students at our high school on "Share-a-Poem" day and, when he finished, the room was silent. Later, he read this same poem at a memorial service for his dad. It was his way to heal. When he returned to school the next week, he told me that he thinks his dad really liked it.

I don't think it matters how old you are when you lose someone you love, you will feel that you will never be able fill that emptiness. But, somehow, you find the strength to move on, because that's what your dad would want for you to do. Liz, your dad will always be with you, because he is a part of you. Nothing can ever change that.

One day, I believe that there will be no more cancer. Doctors are working very hard to make this hope of ours a reality. Your aunt, though I only know her through her posts, seems like a very strong woman and she is there to help you heal. You can be there for each other.

Keep writing Liz, even if it's for your eyes only. It's the best way I know that allows a person to express with total honesty.

Remember, your dad is watching over you...that will never change.

dmc

j916's picture
j916
Posts: 142
Joined: May 2009

just reading your post i would never have guessed you were 11. You write and express yourself like quite the young lady!
I can understand what you are going through, but from a different point of view. I have two sons, they are older than you, but when they found out i had cancer, they were scared too. What has helped the most is all of us agreeing that NOTHING is something that we can't ask a question about, or talk about. The worst kind of worry is the kind you have to hold inside.
I can understand how your aunt having breast cancer can stir up feelings and memories of what happened to your father. We are lucky in the sense that there are so many different treatments available to us now than there were even just a few years ago!! And your aunt is an incredible woman, and is already winning because she is taking care of herself, and doing what it takes to put this behind her, and get on with the fun stuff!! She's a very strong woman, which means that you must be a strong person too....strength runs in families you know :) :) :) You never know...possibly everything you are learning now will have an effect on what you do later, being a doctor, nurse, someone who helps kids like yourself...you sound like such an amazing kid!!
Writing everything down is a great idea, and talking with your friends, find what works best for you...but do not...do not...hold it in. I don't know what city you live in, but some places offer support groups for kids that you might find helpful and fun.

This is heavy stuff for a lovely young lady like yourself...so when you can, play hard, laugh hard, and smile HUGE!!
{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} jeanne

Cindy54's picture
Cindy54
Posts: 454
Joined: Aug 2006

Liz, I am sorry about your Dad. It is never easy to lose anyone we love no matter what age we are. I lost all my family mambers to cancer through the years. My Dad dies from lung cancer the day before my 33 birthday. Every birthday reminds me of how much I still miss him. My Mom dies two years ago. For me, the time right after their deaths was not full of a lot of missing them because I had so much to do and take care of. It has been the 2nd years and on that are tough for me. I go one day at a time and keep myself busy doing things and having people around me who care about me. It is hard, I know. But you will get through this....hugs, Cindy

Akiss4me's picture
Akiss4me
Posts: 2192
Joined: May 2009

Hi Liz,
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I bet you miss him alot.
See the girl in the middle in the picture? That is my daughter. She is grown up now. But when she was just about your age I started to get very sick. (Just like your Aunt T is now). That was 15 years ago.
I use to look at her and could see how scared she was because she didn't ever know what was going to happen. She told me the scariest part was wondering if I was going to die. I have cancer like your Aunt T does and when we get sick there are things we have to do to get better. But once we do that then we are OK once it is over. That is the kind of cancer we have.
Some day I will be looking at a picture of you and your Aunt T when you are the age my daughter is now. She Loves you very much and although she can not take the hurt away from you, she is there for you. I wish I had an Aunt that cared about me as much as your Aunt T cares about you!!.
Don't be afraid to talk to her about ANYTHING!!! She wants to help you with your feelings. Always know that you have someone to turn to when you need to. You are a very lucky girl to have her.
I hope as time goes by that your days begin to get alittle easier for you. You have had alot to deal with at 11 years old, but I feel like you are a very strong girl. Take care and I will keep you in my prayers.......:) Pammy

tommaseena's picture
tommaseena
Posts: 1771
Joined: Feb 2009

Liz and Aunt T,
You are very special people and it is wonderful that you are in each others lives at a difficult time in each of your lives.

Liz--remember that your dad is with you each and every day in your heart and that he will help you through many things--he will help you in spirit.
Your Aunt T is a very special woman to say the least. When the time comes and it may have already---know that she loves you very much.

I know your Aunt T from the other board and I happy to say she is a friend and you have many friends on both boards as well.

Be there for each other and talking helps but just being there with a person is enough sometimes--words don't have to be spoken.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Margo

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network