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Waiting for neck mass biopsy results on 14yo son

Keri05
Posts: 1
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi, I am new to this site and in need of some support regarding my son. He's just 14 and we're waiting results from a neck mass biopsy. The doctor said that it could come back just an infection but it's not a good sign that he has no pain. I know that I need to be patient but you see I'm 9 nine post breast cancer diagnosis. My children have been through enough and just don't understand how this could be happening!!! I wonder if it could be the BRAC2 gene that I'm postive for?? This is my baby and I accepted my diagnosis with the thinking that maybe I saved a child. I'm 38 and he is my second oldest of 5 children.

We live in Northern Jersey and not quite sure where I should take him incase he needs and oncologist. My doctor doesn't see peds patients. I know they will reccomend a group in their hospital but want I options. Can any one help? I'm trying to do as much research now to be prepared. Hopefully I'm driving myself crazy for an infection. It's so hard to act normal for my children when I'm falling apart inside.

Thank you for being there.
Keri

soccerfreaks's picture
soccerfreaks
Posts: 2801
Joined: Sep 2006

Keri:

Your concern is obviously well understood. If you can, you need to start breathing a bit more slowly, for your own good, and for his good, and for the good of your family. If you can. And you need to remove the self-guilt at once. Cancer happens for a number of reasons, not all of them even understood yet. And, in any event, if the alternative to your son's possibily having cancer was to not have him at all...what would your choice have been 14 years ago?

You will do yourself and your family a world of good, Keri, by losing the guilt. It is not your fault, even if he does have cancer, even if genetics plays a role.

I would suggest that if you have friends in the medical community, nurses, technicians, anybody in the medical community, you talk to them about recommendations for future cancer-related care IF it becomes a necessity. The insiders do know the reputations of the doctors they work for and with.

A second source, of course, is your local American Cancer Society office. I am sure that if you are in Northern Jersey, there is one relatively close by. They will be able to offer you some ideas about how to handle the situation, and possibly recommend or at least offer possible choices of institutions and/or physicians.

Another thing you may want to do, Keri, is to re-post in the Head/Neck Cancer board herein, where it is more likely to be seen by folks in your area who have had experience with head/neck cancers AND with local institutions and doctors.

In the meantime, as you yourself hint at, Tom Petty's song The Waiting is the Hardest Part should probably be our theme song, whether we have cancer or are waiting with beating hearts and gnashing teeth to find out whether it is so.

I can tell you this, Keri, with some certainty as a head/neck cancer survivor myself: if your son DOES have cancer in his neck, it is NOT a death sentence.

Best wishes to your son and his family. My thoughts are with you, hopeful for the best possible results from the biopsy.

Hope this helps.

Take care,

Joe

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