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Feeling low

seldom
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2009

I had my thyroid removed a 7 months ago and I can't seem to feel right. I feel low and I am gaining weight, and I try to lose it and I do, and then I eat everything I shouldn't and gain again. I feel sad I had cancer and then I feel like who am I to be complaining? It is curable, I am fine, but I don't feel fine and I don't know if it is in my head or if I am really just off. I am not motivated and I feel like whenever someone asks me about my scar I brush it off as a "thyroid thing" and rarely say it was cancer because somehow I feel like I know that word will evoke emotion and I feel like I don't deserve it because it was curable. I am just having a really hard time. Thoughts would be great.

MacsWifeAngel's picture
MacsWifeAngel
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

I wish I could wave my hand, say a prayer, and these feelings would stop. I am feeling the same way. I don't have treatment until the 16th. I am a medical assistant, and my advise to you about how you feel is not to keep it from your primary care doctor. I have been told that they can regulate everything so that you should feel 'good as new'. I would make sure that they do a complete lab work up. Hormone levels and all, this should include Vitamin D.
The emotional aspect, never deny what your feeling. Feelings are just that, feelings. They are ours. These are yours. I too get tired about explaining about that dog gone scare. My kids have helped make up interestingly creative stories. Try to work through all your feelings and try to find what makes them make sense and how they effect you.
Good luck

jcvolt
Posts: 69
Joined: Mar 2009

Do you ever tell anyone that you came in second in the knife fight? (joke)

jcvolt
Posts: 69
Joined: Mar 2009

When did you have your last tsh lab? Depression, weight gain, no motivation... I'm no doctor but you sound like you are hypo.
Hey have you tried mederma for your scar? I still wear scarves on mine. I had TT on 3/9/09.
I wish I could blame my recent weight gain on my thyroid but I just came back from visiting my parents in PA and this is all mom's cooking. Do you like your endo? maybe you should talk to him/her about how you are feeling. I wish I could offer more than prayers.

dghp71
Posts: 7
Joined: May 2009

Hi, It sounds like to me that you may be trying to convince yourself that you don't have the right to go through the same process as other cancer patients go through. Thyroid cancer may have a high survival rate, but we still go through many of the same things such as surgeries, treatments and a lifetime of adjusting our hormone replacement levels. I had my last surgery in April and am going through some ups and downs as well. I felt that I had almost a mourning period after my thyroid was removed. I was actually sad after my last follow/up appointment with my surgeon, since he was the one to remove it. Like many others, I never had any issues with my levels and have always been an active and thin person. It definitely takes some adjusting. I present myself as full of energy at work, but come home and have to take naps and slow down my workouts at the gym. I have noticed that I really need to watch what I eat/drink more so now than before.
Find someone who will listen and accept all of your feelings and thoughts without assuming you are fine just because it is "curable". I agree with telling people the scar is from surgery. I have to say most people usually say "Oh, you had your thyroid removed, how come ?. I don't usually get into it too much. I work as an occupational therapist in a school system with pre-school age children. One day a four year old girl asked if I had a cat, I was puzzled at first and then she said-"because you have a scratch on your neck"-So that is what I tell most students who ask. I just have a two inch scar on one side that the surgeon used to perform both surgeries. Good luck to you and feel free to continue to chat with people who know first hand what you are going through.

smbb
Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi -
That was very cute! I have two large ugly scars across my neck, one horizontal, one vertical about 4 and 5 inches. I just make sure to slather them in sun screen. They eventually fade but the vertical one will always be very noticable. I always tell adults what it's from but little kids would be different. Good for you!

- Susan

glowingkaren
Posts: 19
Joined: Dec 2004

Hi Seldom,
Wow! Are we twins? LOL I had thyroid cancer 14 yrs ago & my feelings were exactly the same. I'm not sure if it is or was because of thyroid hormone depletion or because the drs make no big deal of it. You almost feel guilty. I used to wear alot of turtlenecks; my doc was like 'you got one of those in every color"? Well, now my thyroglobulin went up slightly & I'm kind of in ;limbo' cause supposedly its 'not high enough to be treated'. Well I'm going for another opinion next month. I wish you the best. I used to tell people I dated OJ (Simpson); my surgery was same time he murdered his wife. I couldnt believe how complete strangers used to come up to me & ask what happened. I didn't want to tell them either. Feel free to vent here; were all on your side. :)

Lilypr
Posts: 32
Joined: May 2009

Seldom...as the others already answered this post you are not alone. I'm just starting my new life (diagnosed with papillary ca on march this year, complete thyroidectomy on april 13th and had my first RAI on may 22nd) but the feeling is the same for all of us. Let me tell you more, my mom is a cancer survivor (breast cancer) and her treatment it was very agresive and because of that I was feeling the same as you (including a guilt sensation to complain in comparison with all the suffering my mom passed thru) but you know what...we deserve to feel all the process like any other cancer patient. Maybe an outsider won't understand how we all fell but we have people on our side (all of us) we KNOW how it is to feel sad, to feel sick and tired, to lose the taste from our meals, to have this metal sensation on our mouth...everything.

The most important is that you can fight and specially YOU ARE NOT ALONE, on this site you can have all the support you'll need to keep going. But also you definetly should talk to your doctor to check your levels and that also will help. Good luck, keep it up and as someone told me on this page: "hang in there...there's a lot of support here".

seldom
Posts: 3
Joined: Jun 2009

Thank you for all of the responses, I cannot even express how much I appreciate each one. I literally have tears in my eyes. I had my last radiation treatment in December and it is only hitting me now, which just seems so odd. The support is incredible. I hope that each of you knows that you made a difference. I had not checked back b/c I figured there is no way anyone would write, but they did!

I too can't eat or drink anything that I used without it really affecting me and I think that is my trigger for feeling bad. All of a sudden, I feel different. Are there recommendations for foods that help with the lack of thyroid? Also, I am taking 112 mg of levothyroxone and doubling up on Sunday--does this sound right to everyone?

I pretend that I am super-woman, working all hours and then coming home and crashing to get up and do it again and that is also something that just doesn't work the way it used to. I feel like I am constantly behind and then I try to remember that maybe I am not 100% yet, maybe the dosage is just not quite right. I wish more people understood that although the cancer is gone, the emotional effects remain.

One more question, I am constantly worried that it might come back, and that if it did I would be mad at myself for not making changes to support the life I want to live...anyone feel that way too?

Thanks so much.

usljh10
Posts: 85
Joined: Apr 2009

Hi Seldom, I had my Thyroid removed March 2008-papillary cancer, so I'm a year ahead of you. I've had my Synthyroid changed 6 times.I'm on 112mci now. I've gained a little weight, my moods are crazy. I don't have the get up and go like I use too, but I manage. Things just don't get done around the house as quick as before.When I get home from work I usually get something to eat and rest till time to sleep. MY mind seems to wonder, I loose track of what I'm doing, or where I put things. My husband says he can tell a difference in my hearing. It may just be getting older.I'm 48. I just did the LID/RAI/WBS last month for my 1 year follow up. Everything came back clear. You can hardly see my scar, I use VIT.E and sun screen. The whole process for Thyroid cancer stinks, but I'm alive and I'm
positive it could be worst. Hang in there!

tamralynn
Posts: 2
Joined: Jun 2009

I had my thyroid removed in November 2007. My husband tells me all the time he wishes he had his wife back. I have mood swings, I'm tired all the time. Sometimes I just don't want to get out of bed in the morning. Halfway thru the day, I feel like I need a nap. I was a go like hell kind of gal for so many years. And now I feel like I've aged ten years. I can't concentrate and I feel like I have to make notes about everything to remember anything.I can't remember where I've put things. If I clean house, we spend a day trying to find what I put away. I don't have a lot of ambition beccause I'm just tired. When I went for my body scan on my 1 year ann., they found a pinhead sized spot. They said it was too small to try to find with surgery so I have to go back for another scan soon. That has constantly been on my mind since they told me. I supposed that might be part of my problem.Of a family of four, three of us have been thru cnacer. My dad, prostrate, my mom, kidney and me, thyroid. Sometimes I just feel lost...

usljh10
Posts: 85
Joined: Apr 2009

I feel the same way. I take extra calcium and multi vit, but I just can't seem to get any engery. Some days are better and I usually over do it.I feel I have aged 10 years also. It's good to know I'm not going crazy. My Dad also had prostate cancer, My mother & brother have had skin cancer. It's hard to find a family that has'nt been touched by the big"C". I know it's hard not knowing and in limbo till the next scan. I'll keep you in my prayers. I hope everything turns out OK.

smbb
Posts: 6
Joined: Jun 2009

Hi all -

Please be aware that depression often follows illness and/or surgery. It may have been an underlying problem before cancer or not. Most physician are able to treat depression quite well these days. It is not a character deficit, it is a disease that can be cured. Please speak with your physician about feeling better. If they won't listen, find a new doctor.

Take care (I've been there and back!)
- Susan

Lilypr
Posts: 32
Joined: May 2009

Hi Seldom, as I read your words it tells me you're feeling much better and that's a good sign. Trust me when I tell you that this site helps, at least keep reading all the post and try to enter the chat (always help). As I told you, I'm new with my cancer and I have a lot to learn. But, at least I can tell you honestly...I'm scared, I have worries, but also I tell myself that I'm Strong and will stay Positive, I'll win the fight and I'll use this experience to help others. Hang in there...you are not alone.

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