After an almost three year battle against colon cancer, I lost my wife Martha on March 9,2009.
We were married for 12 years (would have been 13 in June) but we were together for 22 years.
I didn't know such pain and grief was possible. I knew she wasn't doing well the last two months and she was in much pain. Her death was sudden nonetheless. She was the woman I was going to happily spend the rest of my life with, but now life seems so pointless. In 1987,
my right leg was amputated after a motorcycle accident caused by a drunk driver. Martha and I had just started dating. It made no difference to her. I was amazed how such a beautiful, sweet, person could love me so unconditionally. I feel so lost and alone without her. I know
she would want me to go on with my life, but right now I'm just existing from day to day.
Compared to losing my love, an amputation was a picnic. I hate coming home to a quiet and empty house. Most of the people we knew were Martha's friends, so the phone calls and visits
have steadily diminished to almost nothing. I knew when we started dating that she couldn't
have any more children (she had a son and daughter by her first marriage) but that didn't matter to me. I felt like she was a special gift from God. Why would you be given such a gift
to have it taken away so soon? Martha was 52, but looked much younger.I miss her terribly.
I don't know how much more of this pain and loneliness I can take.