CSN Login
Members Online: 15

my husband died and i miss him

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

Angel passed away april 16 2009 Now I have to go on alone how do you do that after being married 35 yrs he was 53 and i am 51 Just going home is heartwrenching for me because i will never see him againor talk to him like before. I am a wreck. he did instill in me to be strong and i am trying my best.

michelle

zahalene's picture
zahalene
Posts: 624
Joined: Nov 2005

I also 'lost' my husband, but to divorce after 28 years. And it was a complete break. He immediately moved on to someone else, so it felt like he had died.
There is a grieving process that must be endured but, believe it or not, it will not always be the negative, painful experience it is for you today. There will come a point when you will begin to remember and focus more and more on your happy memories than on the fact that he is gone. And if you are a spiritual person, you may begin to feel a 'connection' to him that you never would have expected, if you have not already done so. Love between two people does not simply evaporate when separation or death intervenes. When I focus on the more positive moments and experiences of my marriage, I can feel a connection to the man I knew when I married him. He no longer exists in 'real time', but I can go to a place where he and I once shared something blessed and it is a great comfort.
God bless and have hope.

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

Your kinds words comfort me and i have gone back and rememberd all the good times i just keep thinking of those but at the same time i can see him lying in so much pain even at the end i wished he didn't suffer so much but he is at peace now.
michelle

tasha_111's picture
tasha_111
Posts: 2042
Joined: Oct 2008

I'm so sorry to hear your news. I will be thinking of you. Jxxxx

hollyberry's picture
hollyberry
Posts: 176
Joined: Nov 2008

Michelle,
You and Angel have been so brave and I am so sorry that you are feeling so lost without him. I know from your posts that he was your world and that world seems empty now, but it isn't. He is with you, looking down and smiling on you. You were his world, too, and he will always be a part of you.
Please take comfort in knowing that he is no longer in pain and he is at peace. Now you have to try and find some peace, too. There is a book that I read when my best friend died and I was having such a hard time dealing with it. It's called "On Death and Dying" by Elizabeth Kubbler-Ross(?). I hope this helps
You're in my thoughts and prayers.
With so much love,
Holly

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

for your kind and comforting words .

michelle

Sunflower's picture
Sunflower
Posts: 12
Joined: Jul 2008

Michelle,
I'm so sorry to hear about your husband's passing. My husband went to Heaven on April 11, 2009 and I'm having a hard time too. I too am trying to be strong, but it is very difficult. We both need to hang in there and lean on this amazing support group that we have here.

When I look back, the cancer was so difficult for him, me, our family, and now it's still so hard without him here. Our worlds have been turned upside down and I pray that we both find the courage, strength and peace to continue to move forward.

Hugs,
Liz

slickwilly's picture
slickwilly
Posts: 339
Joined: Feb 2007

Michelle and Liz. I am so sorry for your loss. Both of these great men had great women standing with them through good and bad times. Its not something we find everyday in our world and an example of what a good relationship should be. Many people would give everything for a little bit of the love you shared together. Both of your husbands were blessed to have such caring and loving wifes. And you both honor your husbands daily by thinking about them. I hope that someday soon you will only remember the good times and the love you shared. And that each day will have a bright spot that helps you make it to the next day. God Bless you both. Slickwilly

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

That was beautiful . Being married to Angel since I was sixteen I tried to be a good wife and i was. I loved him for 35 yrs and will continue to love him. I take one day at a time.
Thanks

michelle

Sunflower's picture
Sunflower
Posts: 12
Joined: Jul 2008

Thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean a lot to me. It's been one month ago today that I lost my husband and your message felt like a "virtual" hug and I needed it today.
May God bless you too,
Liz

Sunflower's picture
Sunflower
Posts: 12
Joined: Jul 2008

I've seen some of your posts before too and I've meant to write to you before now because I could relate to a lot of things you had said. I'm sorry that cancer has touched all of us, but I'm glad we can be here for each other.

Take care and God bless,
Liz

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

Thanks liz, It seems like I miss him more everyday. Ive seem some of your post i am glad you are still here giving encouragement.

michelle

ZOE60
Posts: 2
Joined: May 2009

My husband died May 11, 2009. It is hard to go around the house and remember the things you did together, or were thinking of finishing together. I am trying to keep myself a little numb right now, cause it aches so much to think of all the things we were planning. I am glad he didn't suffer, because it was so sudden and I have the comfort of knowing he is at home with God, but I am alone, without my best friend beside me to hold me every night. We were married 42 years and had ups and downs, but the last 2 years have been the best years of our life. I am glad we had this peace in our marriage, but wish we'd had so many more years together like the last 2. He was 62. I miss him terribly. I am so sorry for your loss, it's like losing half of you. I am stong too, but that absolutely doesn't heal the ache and loss. I kiss his picture good night each night and each morning and ask him and God to follow me thru my day.

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

It seems not real to me that he is gone then it hits me that he is gone forever.

michelle

2young_2fast
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

I lost my husband on May 14,2009. I understand what you mean about going around the house and remembering. We were together for 33 yrs and married for 27 yrs. He was only 52 when He passed. Try to stay busy it really helps.

josie_5
Posts: 6
Joined: Aug 2007

i know the feeling. my hub died on 22 apr. i am so alone. im going to go shopping tomorrow and look around. maybe that will help. pick up a hobby???? how bout u????? josie

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

I did the same thing i went to the mall and looked around i don't feel right alone in the house . I did go bowling and i haven;t been bowling in a long time well i was sore for about a week so i don;t know if i can join a bowling league i go to the cemetary alot it is close to my house. I had some picuters enlarged at wal mart and bought some frames to. I miss him so much i still can;t beleave i will never see him again. well take care i will be going to a berevment class next week at the comunity center i will see what that is about It may help .

michelle

2young_2fast
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

I loss my hubby on May 14, 2009 and I can't walk into a grocery store without being on edge of tears. I start shopping and have to stop and remember it's just me now and I don't need 2 loaves of bread. I try to stay as busy as I can that helps.

ZOE60
Posts: 2
Joined: May 2009

I went to Sam's Club the other night, and it was very hard. We loved to go there and snack our way thru the store on Saturday. We didn't do it often, just thought it a lark. They were giving out food that day, so many little things you did together and didn't see as a remembrance, but the little silly things you did together, can't be shared with anyone else. Hold tight to those memories.
Love to all who miss their loved ones this Memorial Weekend
Zoe

green50
Posts: 318
Joined: Feb 2008

I lost my husband to cancer in 2005 while fighting cancer myself, which I still am after 7 years. Its hard. But time makes it easier to deal with. I am so sorry for all your losses. I have almost 30 years of wonderful memories and kept busy cried and as time when on my sons and I could joke about the fun we had with him and the big strength he taught us. I was 47 and he was 54. He passed just short of our 28th anniversary. Time helps, yes you will always miss them they will always be there, but he told me take one day at a time and make it simple woman, the last words were I love you. I pray for the ease of all of you hurt and that you find the memories to eventually comfort you. For you know your husbands would want you to be happy.
Prayers and Hugs To All
Sandy

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

You are awesome have a wonderful day

michelle

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

you are right and i did miss angel on memorial day we would be riding the harley with our american flag on the back .It is hard to see couples on there motorcycles because that was us just a few months ago. have a good day

michelle

2young_2fast
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

I totally understand. Ours were classic cars. I have a really hard time attending car shows and events.

2young_2fast
Posts: 4
Joined: Jun 2009

I loss my husband of 27 yrs. (together for 33yrs) on May 14,2009. Diagnosised with Multiply Mylema on March 27, 2009. I'm still trying to deal with all of this. I have my work and family and friends right now. I try to be strong but there are days that I'm better off just keep the box of tissue in my hands.

angelsbaby's picture
angelsbaby
Posts: 1157
Joined: May 2008

I hear you on that . this is very hard thats all i know

michelle

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2014 © Cancer Survivors Network