May 03, 2009 - 12:51 pm
I was diagnosed with a stage 1b1 cervical cancer tumor May 28, 2008. I am very lucky to be feeling mostly great...some bowel issues, and still not feeling very sexual..but other than that good physically. As of now I am cancer free accoridng to my follow up visits and PET scans. I have regained most of my strength with only some fatigue remaining, causing an early end to most evenings. My husband and I feel thankful for each new day. For others out there, many bright spots do exist. I am proof of that.
I was extremely ill from my radiation and chemo treatments requiring 3 hospitalizations for the side effects of the treatments. I am fairly small and lost 20 pounds, was not able to eat or keep liquids down. Tried most every known anti-nasuea medications with no relief. Had to have IV fluids everyday. I feel guilty about feeling so good now and not being able to get out of my mind just how sick I was. I worry about the cancer returning and having to go through the treatments again. I was never in pain other than the pain of nasusea and diarreha but was vomitting every hour of the day and so incredibly weak. So many have so much more to deal with, I know I should feel lucky and I do, but I still worry and don't sleep well. I excecise by walking 2 miles a day 5 times a week and am back to working 2 days a week for some normalcy in my life. Are there others out there with these same nagging worries? I am blessed, just need to work things out in my mind.