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My Partner is blocking me out.

Posts: 1
Joined: May 2009

My partner of 20 years just got done with radiation treatments for tongue cancer. He had part of his tongue removed along with some surgery on his neck to remove some lymph nodes The radiation treatments have made it uncomfortable to talk . He also is battling with HIV and his T-Cell count has dropped below 50. When I try to ask him simple questions or try to communicate with him, he tells me to get away. I have been nothing but help to him and I know he loves me and appreciates all I have done but I can't understand why shuts me out. Has anyone else been throught this? If so what can I do.

Posts: 3
Joined: Feb 2009

i know its hard i went thru that also, michael had throat cancer and after chemo and radiation, his talking was very hard to understand, just let him know u are there and its really hard for u to understand his words, ask him to write down somethings he wants u to know just assure him that u love him , and im sure u do, i know its frustrating as i went thru that, stay beside him.... u will so be rewarded at the end, i have been blessed after 27 years.... he was my best friend and partner....if i can help in any other way let me know


Posts: 3
Joined: Oct 2009

I just saw you post today, nearly six months later. I don't know where you are now but I would say that it would be helpful if you did not take his response personally. Just being around and not showing frustration or anger would be helpful for him. I think his silence is a way for him to control his awful situation where he has been expecting death to touch him every day, every day for years. This is not easy for you either but you seem to have the strength it requires. Do do it alone and get some support for just you. I don't know where you both are now, but my heart goes out to you.

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