Apr 01, 2009 - 11:04 pm
I have been thinking about writing a post for a while, but I don't know why I didn't have the courage to do so until today.
I lost my mom to ovarian cancer last august. She is my best friend, rock, and the most amazing woman. I find joy in thinking about her kindness, and the way she loved the world for all it is. Even two months before she died she was watching some show about animals in the Amazon, and couldn't stop gasping at how beautiful our planet was.
I'm 24, and I was 22 when she was first diagnosed. I know she is gone, I'm very aware of it, but this hole in my heart only keeps getting better. I went back to grad school three weeks after she died, haven't missed a deadline since, but I'm so unfathomably sad, and I want her to talk to me or something.
I know all of you out there have been through something similar, and I would appreciate any words of support or advice. I just feel like its never going to get easier, and nothing good will ever happen to me again. I know I need to let myself feel sad, but I'm worried that I'm despairing.