Help please!

nfairess
nfairess Member Posts: 4
edited March 2014 in Ovarian Cancer #1
My mother-in-law had a swollen belly in the fall and a CA125?? that was around 300. Jan. 13 they did complete hysterectomy, removed cancerous tumor that was connected to an ovary and part of her intestine. We were told they got 98% of cancer and chemo would get the other 2%. They said it was stage 3C-4. Sent home to recover from surgery before chemo. She wasn't feeling well and could not hold down food or liquid. Went back for CA125 and dr's decided more tests because her number had not changed even after surgery. Was admitted to hospital where they ran more tests and found "spots" on her lungs. After being sent home, they finally started chemo 6 weeks after first surgery. Was sent back to the hospital with blood clot form chemo port, released 6 days later and was back two days later for fluid build up in her lungs. Fluid has been drained, and procedure has been done, that will keep the fluid from building up again. She is very weak, as she has not been eating and has been in the hospital most of March. She was originally told she would need 6 chemo treatments over 5 months, but was just told this week, that she is no longer a candidate for chemo because she is so weak, and her bod is not making enough healthy red blood cells??? They now say there is nothing else they can do. How, in a matter of 2 months do we go from "we got 98% of it", to "there's nothing else we can do". They have given her 3 months - what do we do, where do we go, does this seem right?

Comments

  • aandj
    aandj Member Posts: 33
    #2
    Help please - alternatives
    Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your mother-in-law - if the doctors say they can not do any more have you looked at alternatives. My wife (35 was diagnosed in Oct 07) had a total hysterectomy and the doctors said that there was not sighn of cancerous cells but they would give her 6 rounds of Carbo to make sure. By April 08 cancer had spread to liver and intestinal surface, continued with various chemos but she got weaker and weeker and could not hold food down and by Jan 09 it had spread to her lungs. We contacted several alternatives cancer specialists for alternative treatments and while in the end there was not time for them to sart to work I can provide you with a document of alternatives if you like. Angela passed away in Feb 09 after a 15 month struggle. If you would like the document of alternatives please contact me on jeremy@africa-in-focus.com
  • groundeffect
    groundeffect Member Posts: 639 Member
    #3
    What does your MIL think?
    In your description of your mother-in-law's illness, you don't mention her age, or what she thinks about trying to find a therapy for her sickness. If she is a lady of "a certain age", maybe she doesn't want to pursue something that may make her a lot sicker, trying to stave off the cancer.

    Through my support group, I've seen individual decisions about treatments, and at some point it has to be a personal decision of the afflicted when not to proceed. It really shouldn't be affected by a family's desperation to keep them alive. Chemo can make a woman very ill, and if it's contraindicated by lack of physical strength, I think it's unfair to press doctors for it.

    I know it's distressing to see a family member who is ill, but you really should think about the pain that prolonging life may bring.

    If you want to talk to someone, I suggest you contact the American Cancer Society. I have found great comfort in my support group; maybe you could find someone you could discuss this with face-to-face who is not a doctor.
  • nfairess
    nfairess Member Posts: 4
    #4
    groundeffect said:

    What does your MIL think?
    In your description of your mother-in-law's illness, you don't mention her age, or what she thinks about trying to find a therapy for her sickness. If she is a lady of "a certain age", maybe she doesn't want to pursue something that may make her a lot sicker, trying to stave off the cancer.

    Through my support group, I've seen individual decisions about treatments, and at some point it has to be a personal decision of the afflicted when not to proceed. It really shouldn't be affected by a family's desperation to keep them alive. Chemo can make a woman very ill, and if it's contraindicated by lack of physical strength, I think it's unfair to press doctors for it.

    I know it's distressing to see a family member who is ill, but you really should think about the pain that prolonging life may bring.

    If you want to talk to someone, I suggest you contact the American Cancer Society. I have found great comfort in my support group; maybe you could find someone you could discuss this with face-to-face who is not a doctor.

    What does your MIL think?
    She is 69. I don't mean to imply that we would force treatment on her if she had made that decision. It's just that as I have read around here, all of the things that she has been going through seem normal...retaining fluid, constipation, low platelets. However, the onc. has said things like "she is baffling us", "we don't know what to do with her". They have told her she is no longer a candidate for chemo because of her complications. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice as to if this sounded right, or if we she do anything else.

    Thanks
  • nfairess
    nfairess Member Posts: 4
    #5
    aandj said:

    Help please - alternatives
    Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your mother-in-law - if the doctors say they can not do any more have you looked at alternatives. My wife (35 was diagnosed in Oct 07) had a total hysterectomy and the doctors said that there was not sighn of cancerous cells but they would give her 6 rounds of Carbo to make sure. By April 08 cancer had spread to liver and intestinal surface, continued with various chemos but she got weaker and weeker and could not hold food down and by Jan 09 it had spread to her lungs. We contacted several alternatives cancer specialists for alternative treatments and while in the end there was not time for them to sart to work I can provide you with a document of alternatives if you like. Angela passed away in Feb 09 after a 15 month struggle. If you would like the document of alternatives please contact me on jeremy@africa-in-focus.com

    So sorry to hear about your
    So sorry to hear about your wife. I will contact you.

    Thanks
  • ladyjogger31
    ladyjogger31 Member Posts: 289
    #6
    nfairess said:

    What does your MIL think?
    She is 69. I don't mean to imply that we would force treatment on her if she had made that decision. It's just that as I have read around here, all of the things that she has been going through seem normal...retaining fluid, constipation, low platelets. However, the onc. has said things like "she is baffling us", "we don't know what to do with her". They have told her she is no longer a candidate for chemo because of her complications. I was just wondering if anyone had any advice as to if this sounded right, or if we she do anything else.

    Thanks

    Sorry
    Hi, sorry that this has happened to your MIL but I would be looking for a good Gyn/Onc and get a second opinion. I just wouldn't give up on what Onc has to say. Your Mom should be trying to build up her immune system, so she can get strong and fight.
    Hugs and Prayers,
    Terry
  • Cindy54
    Cindy54 Member Posts: 452
    #7
    ladyjogger31 said:

    Sorry
    Hi, sorry that this has happened to your MIL but I would be looking for a good Gyn/Onc and get a second opinion. I just wouldn't give up on what Onc has to say. Your Mom should be trying to build up her immune system, so she can get strong and fight.
    Hugs and Prayers,
    Terry

    Always Hope
    My Mom also was not able to have chemo in her fight. She was stage 4 when she had her surgery and ended up with a colostomy.She was too weak for chemo. Her CA-125 was first over 800 and went down to just over 100, so she still had some cancer cells in her.Even without the chemo, she lived another 18 months. There were many problems along the way, including seizures which made her weaker. But she fought as long as she could until the ovarian went into lymphoma. There are other alternatives out there, I am sure someone will chime in with some. There is a lot of information on this site also. I am sorry to hear this news about your motherinlaw. And I wish you all the best in trying to find something to help her....Cindy
  • Eil4186
    Eil4186 Member Posts: 949
    #8
    aandj said:

    Help please - alternatives
    Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your mother-in-law - if the doctors say they can not do any more have you looked at alternatives. My wife (35 was diagnosed in Oct 07) had a total hysterectomy and the doctors said that there was not sighn of cancerous cells but they would give her 6 rounds of Carbo to make sure. By April 08 cancer had spread to liver and intestinal surface, continued with various chemos but she got weaker and weeker and could not hold food down and by Jan 09 it had spread to her lungs. We contacted several alternatives cancer specialists for alternative treatments and while in the end there was not time for them to sart to work I can provide you with a document of alternatives if you like. Angela passed away in Feb 09 after a 15 month struggle. If you would like the document of alternatives please contact me on jeremy@africa-in-focus.com

    Dear Jeremy, I am so very
    Dear Jeremy, I am so very sorry for your loss. The picture of you and your Angela ia lovely. My heart breaks when I think of all of the people who have been taken by this horrid disease. Take care, Eileen
  • saundra
    saundra Member Posts: 1,370 Member
    #9
    2nd opinion
    I am so sorry that your M in L is having this result. Have you considered a second opinion at a large teaching hospital? If not, that would be my next step. The nastiness of this disease is that it is caught too late for many. I will pray for her. Saundra
  • JanQ
    JanQ Member Posts: 236
    #10
    mil
    I would also look for a second opinion, and before I gave up I would probably see Cancer Center of America...
    Good Luck in your fight.
    Jan
  • Susan523
    Susan523 Member Posts: 231 Member
    #11
    Mother In Law
    I would certainly get another opinion; and by a Gynecology/Oncologist.
    Sometimes they are hard-to-find, as there aren't very many from what I
    understand.

    Also, the Anderson Hospital in Houston
    http://www.mdanderson.org/

    My thoughts & prayers are with you,
    ~Susan xoxo
  • maddy123
    maddy123 Member Posts: 2
    #12
    aandj said:

    Help please - alternatives
    Hi, I am very sorry to hear about your mother-in-law - if the doctors say they can not do any more have you looked at alternatives. My wife (35 was diagnosed in Oct 07) had a total hysterectomy and the doctors said that there was not sighn of cancerous cells but they would give her 6 rounds of Carbo to make sure. By April 08 cancer had spread to liver and intestinal surface, continued with various chemos but she got weaker and weeker and could not hold food down and by Jan 09 it had spread to her lungs. We contacted several alternatives cancer specialists for alternative treatments and while in the end there was not time for them to sart to work I can provide you with a document of alternatives if you like. Angela passed away in Feb 09 after a 15 month struggle. If you would like the document of alternatives please contact me on jeremy@africa-in-focus.com

    Alternatives
    I would check MD Andersen in Texas.
    If you check out the website they have lots of new trials.
    Don't have one doctors opinion rule your world.

    Good Luck.

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