Thanks for the help with my fear of surgery

Thanks everyone for helping me get past my unreasonable fear of the upcoming surgery.I had my pre-op tests today, and the techs were so wonderful. It was strange, but as they talk to you, and ask the inevitable "what is your surgery for" their whole demeanor changed when I said rectal cancer. It was as if they became instant angels of support. One gal even used to work for my surgeon, and she was so helpful. She immediately put me in touch with an ostomy specialist "just in case." (My surgeon had arranged it for after the surgery while I was in the hospital.) She said she knew my surgeon was good, and could probably spot the stoma place all on his own, but why not let the specialist mark ahead of time, and then I wouldn't have to worry if the stoma was in a spot that would be inconvenient - like right where my jeans fit, or something. I feel better than I have in days. The specialist took my call right away and will meet with me Friday. She is going to give me the appliance to wear all weekend, so that I can understand how it feels to wear it, sleep with it, etc when my head is clear, not when I am doped up after surgery. Great idea! And she also said "But we are still hopeful that you won't need it, so you can just give it back the morning of your surgery." Such a positive attitude!

I am so thankful that I found this site early on. It has been a lifeline (including Buzzard's 'rope' to pull me through!)And all of the messages of HOPE have helped as well.

I have my plates all stacked up and ready to smash, but somehow I was in too good of a mood this afternoon. (OK, I broke one but it wasn't the same because I wasn't as angry as I was yesterday!) They are there though, and I will have fun with them. Maybe I'll make a patio mosaic piece with the shards! Of course, that will have to wait until Spring!

Thanks again...much love to all. Vicki