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cancer survivors and dating

survivor96's picture
survivor96
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2009

I am 18 and I was diagnosed with ALL (leukemia) about 15 years ago and I had a bone marrow transplant when i was six years old.So can dating be easy to survivors and is it easier to date someone that is also a cancer survivor or someone that isnt.I am 18 now and i am not getting any younger LOL so i was wanting to know some dating experiences of other cancer survivors like me.

rossgipson's picture
rossgipson
Posts: 26
Joined: Nov 2008

I've only dated non survivors, and those turned into disasters. In both situations the girls couldn't get past the fact that I had to cope with so many physical challenges on a daily basis (even though they initially told me they could). The first girl and I existed in this "sort of dating limbo" for the better part of a year before we actually called ourselves a couple in an official capacity. About a month after we made our dating official she told me she met another guy and dumped me in a Thai Food restaurant (before the food came to the table...which made for a very undesirable meal). The other relationship didn't last nearly as long (about three months total I'd say), but at the end of that one she just cut off communication with me and ended up cheating on me, so I just left it there. After those two I've been pretty gun shy about relationships, and have only pursued girls only if I deemed them strong emotionally (because in my estimation it takes a strong person to date a survivor). There have been prospects, but sadly, no one I thought about dating.

That's the reason I decided to come to this site. I thought maybe I could meet a person who I found interesting and who I've shared similar experiences with. I've heard stories of Holocaust victims who lost families in the massacre, and ended up marrying and starting new families when it was over. I've heard similar accounts of 9/11 victims, victims of wars, and of ghastly traumas. Through shared traumatic experiences people can find ways to build new beginnings; it's the whole "death is the mother of beauty" axiom. I just hope I can do the same.

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