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results not good

Angelica2003
Posts: 20
Joined: Sep 2008

Well yesterday the Urologist Dr.Ritchie, called us at home at 5:07pm,
which was after hours. So I knew this was not good. He insisted to
see or talk to Brian about the results this week or possibly the next
day. But definatly before we saw our GP, Dr.Grobler. I told him Brian
was not home from work till after 6pm. At which time he stated he
would call back after 6pm.

Well the way he sounded, extra calm and concerned I could read
exactly what was up. I told Brian when he gor home that the Dr was
calling with the results he was really nevious and upset. He knew Drs
do not call with good news usually.

Well at 7:15pm Dr.Ritchie phoned and Brian and I both were on the
line. He stated "well as you know with you being so young and your
PSA being 5.09, a free PSA of 8.45% and an abnormal DRE, we took 12
biospy samples because of the concern of Prostate cancer with the
family history. Out of the 12, 2 came back positive for cancer. They
were a Gleason Score 6. Left medial base 4%. Right medial base 15%.
And Right Apex highgrade 10 diferentiated. Which means not cancer
yet but will turn into cancer in the near future."

So it was not news we wanted. But no one ever wants that kind of
news. He told us our options: watchful waiting, radiation and
surgery. We told him that watchful waiting was not and never will be
an option for us. Not with his family history of all men having this.
And we do not want to go through PSA tests and Biopsies and the
waiting game for results. It is just not in our books. And as far as
radiation, it was not something we were looking at. We have read alot
and studied alot with all the options. Brian then stated he wants
surgery. As he said, just get it out so I do not have to worry and
can go on with life.

Dr. Ritchie is faxing a copy of the results and a letter to our GP
and we see him today after 5:30pm. He is going to refer us to
Dr.Drachenburg an Urologic Oncologist and Laparoscopist. He is with
the Prostate center at the cancer care center in winnipeg and is one
of the best and specialises in this.

Anyways after all this talk with the dr, Brian was very upset and
kept saying, "it was suppose to come back negative." I just held
him, told him I love him, and is not alone. That I will be there all
the way. He then said, "my manhood and dignaty are out the door. I
will lose sex and bladder control." I then told him that with his
age and the dr being so good from what I hear, he will be fine. I
told him yes it will be rough and a major change on him sexually. But
sex was not important to me. I just want him alive. As far as
control, I am sure he will be ok in that department as well.

After he shed alot of tears and went though anger, fear, and denyal,
he went to bed. i went to the bathroom. All night I had a migraine
and was on the verge of vomiting. That is how my body handles stress.

So one of his questions other then knowing he is having surgery,
was "now what is the next step?" I am assuming he means where does
he go now?

This is so much to handle right now

We have looked at radiation and the only problem is that do have a
chance with bladder and ED problems. But that is just not the reason
for the final decission on surgery., It is because we were told after
radiation because of the damage to tissues and nerves, you can not
have surgery later. where as with surgery there are options after
with radiation and others.

And I know it may sound crazy but, I can never feel it is gone if it
is there. I don't know. I have had all my reproductive organs
removed for cysts that I know could later turn. I did not want to
take the chance. Was told surgery is 85 to 98% cure and others were
low.

Right now he is in alot of pain and with alot of investigation and
reseach and talking to other men, surgery just seems better
especially with his age. was even told his age will help with the
side effects. Making them less. He is very potent so that is also
in his favor.

So we are both still shocked. We see Dr. Ann Katz tomorrow. She is
a prostate specialist that helps with the inconstance and impotence.
I was told she can perscribe a med he can take before the surgery
that increases blood flow to the penis. And this will be a help.

We also see a Dr. Drachenburg who is a prostate doctor, who has been
doing nerve sparing for years and Brian is a candidate for it. So
hoping he will have alot on his side and have next to no issues after.

Angelica

rogermoore's picture
rogermoore
Posts: 265
Joined: Mar 2002

Angelica,

I know you are both devastated with the diagnosis. I can remember how my wife and I reacted when I was diagnosed.

However, I was diagnosed 7 1/2 yrs ago when Robotics surgery was not yet invented. It is now considered the "gold standard". At least here in the states. Our attitude was the same as yours, get it out and be rid of it. At the time, surgery was a lot more invasive than it is now. I don't know Brian's age, but you he should be reassured that he will not be losing his manhood. Within weeks following my "Radical" surgery we were resuming our intimacy (I was 58 at the time). Continence was not a problem and our life since surgery has been quite normal.

You must keep in mind that all cases are unique and the results may vary. Just keep in mind that this is Brian's body, and your lives that will be affected. Be sure you research all options and if surgery is selected be sure you are both connected with the Surgeon and at ease with his talents.

I hope I have offered you some comfort. If you, or Brian, have any questions you feel too personal you may e-mail me at this site.

Best of luck,

Roger

Angelica2003
Posts: 20
Joined: Sep 2008

Brian is 38 and has been having some really bad days. Today was the worst.

Anywho, I have been trying to et in the chat and it is not working. I cannot even download Java.

Help.

protectthepackage
Posts: 2
Joined: Nov 2008

Angelica,

I'm not sure what your views are on this, but the least I can do is let you know that someone in small town Wisconsin is praying for you and Brian. It is evident you are a strong woman. To post this story shows how much you care for Brian and that you are willing to reach out for as much help as possible. His courage and strength along with your care and support are an amazing combination. If prayer is a cancer fighting tool you strongly believe in, I would be honored to be apart of it. Please visit www.protectthepackage.com and click on the "prayer corner" link. God Bless you and Brian!

John

JoeMac's picture
JoeMac
Posts: 77
Joined: Jun 2008

Aloha Angelica,
So sorry that Brian is so young, and to hear that he has PC. If you go to www.yananow.net
you can ask any question, and some one will respond.
Please - Please take your time ... and talk to at least 2 oncologists before you make the decision for treatment. No web site is going to give you the info you need to decide. You must make the decision from info that you discuss with your doctor.
The side effects of any treatment can affect you for life.
See about geting a mental check up ... we waited over a year ... much to long ...
Take care,
Have hope,
Joe 67

fcatroneo
Posts: 89
Joined: Jan 2007

Angelica, I am sure Brian will be fine. I was diagnosed at 60 years old. I wore a pad home after they took my cathader out and it was the only pad I ever wore. I resumed having sex with my wife after two weeks. There is life after Prostate Cancer.

Surgery is a good choice. As mentioned, Robotics is the gold standard. More important, find an experienced doctor. My doctor had performed over 3,000 PC surgeries and still does 4 every week.

For Robotics, Dr. Tewari is the best. I believe he is in New York. For regular surgery, Dr. Catalona is an excellent Nerve Sparing Surgeon (probably in the top 5 in the country). Google their names and you can learn more about them.

Good luck, our prayers are with both of you and again, there is normal life after prostate cancer.

Frank

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