Sep 22, 2008 - 12:45 pm
Hi, I am just looking for some support. My dad has bladder cancer, he is living with me as I am his main support. I am not sure what stage he has, but it is not good. He had a cat scan done a week or two ago, and they have found that the cancer has spread. It is now also in his kidneys, his liver, in his lymph-noids and "all up his side" - (my dads words). We got him to the hospital just over a month ago (he is a very stubborn man, it took an intervention of my brother, my husband and myself, telling him he was going in, we had called an ambulance). I just knew that if I didn't get him in to the hospital, he was going to die very soon. It turns out his kidneys were not working and he was VERY low on blood (because he had been peeing out so much blood for so long). He was in the hospital for just over a week, during that time recieved 12 units of blood. He did have his bladder scraped, and a hose put in between his bladder and kidneys. He was in the ICU for a few days after his surgery. For awhile there, things seemed hopefull, I thought maybe he could fight it, but I guess the real "tell-all" is the cat scan. So after the cat scan, they told him that it is too far spread, chemo won't do anything, radiation will kill him. He told me they said he could have a year or two if it slows down, but the way he is right now, I just can't see that. I am reaching out because I am just trying to get some information. I am trying to get my dad to let me come with him to the doctors tomorrow, so I can get some more information. The hardest thing right now is how much pain he is in. He gets huge clots in his bladder, and they can't get through, his kidneys hurt, he is having severe back pain. He has these spasms untill the clot passes and then the pain temporarily goes away. Well now the pain is also in his leg? The only pain meds he has been given are percacets, and they don't work anymore. I feel so helpless, I hate seeing him like this. There has got to be something they can do, or at least some better pain meds. My dad is only 50, not that it matters, it seems there are people who are 30 that are fighting this. I am a stay-at-home mom and I have 5 children (#6 is on the way) so I can be here for my dad. I am just over-whelmed right now, I just want him to be pain-free or at least be able to manage his pain. This is a horrible way to die.