This doesn't REALLY have anything to do with cancer :)

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Fergus2007
Fergus2007 Member Posts: 109
edited March 2014 in Colorectal Cancer #1
Except that my father had colon cancer (stage 4)
... and this effects him indirectly.

I think I just dumped my boyfriend of a year (YEeees - I'm a guuurl :)

My boyfriend finaly decided he didn't want kids (eventhough he knew for a year that I did)

All I know is: the whole thing made my dad cry because he can't kick the guy's **** :)

... and there has been a guy who appeared very eager - but the whole thing with my dad made me think I had to much on my plate to meet him for coffee (not to mention I had the iffy long distance thing going :)

So now *SIGH* I'm VERY stressed thinking I messed EVERTHING up at 38.

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  • pamness
    pamness Member Posts: 524 Member
    #2
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    Don't think it is possible to mess up everything at 38. Re-evaluate, decide what you want to do, and move forward.
  • Fergus2007
    Fergus2007 Member Posts: 109
    #3
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    pamness said:

    Don't think it is possible to mess up everything at 38. Re-evaluate, decide what you want to do, and move forward.

    ... at one point it's all going to be too late.

    (perhaps that's just my negative view point right now :)

    I know that if a guy doesn't share the same future plans with me I HAVE TO move on.

    ... I at this point hope I didn't mess things up with a guy that might have had genuine interest ... .
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #4
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    Fergus2007 said:

    ... at one point it's all going to be too late.

    (perhaps that's just my negative view point right now :)

    I know that if a guy doesn't share the same future plans with me I HAVE TO move on.

    ... I at this point hope I didn't mess things up with a guy that might have had genuine interest ... .

    The WORST thing is to be in a relationship with someone who is fundamentally different from you, with different goals/life plans. In the final analysis, you cannot changes these 'core beliefs'. The other person can, but has to want to, himself, otherwise it just causes friction.

    Good for you that you realized this! And, at 38, no your life is NOT over...heavens, many, many men are still single till they are in their 50's!
    Enjoy life, go about living happy...all else will come!

    Hugs, Kathi
  • claud1951
    claud1951 Member Posts: 424 Member
    #5
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    Trust me, there is hope. I didn't get married until I was 52! We even met online! Ha

    Don't worry and fret, it makes things worse. Just take a deep breath and move on. You'll find the right guy.

    Claudia
  • shmurciakova
    shmurciakova Member Posts: 906 Member
    #6
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    Well, can't you try to find out the phone number, or somehow get in touch with the guy that wanted to go out for coffee? Maybe now would be a good time to try to call him or write him a letter.
    You still have time BTW, my boss didn't have her first kid until she was 41 and she had 3 right in a row. So, maybe you are like her "fertile myrtle", lol....
    Good luck and don't worry about it too much. It is what it is.
    Your boyfriend apparently isn't the one, so find a new one. There are tons of men in this world. I know that is easy for me to say, but it's true and the right one will come along in due time.
    -Susan H.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #7
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    KathiM said:

    The WORST thing is to be in a relationship with someone who is fundamentally different from you, with different goals/life plans. In the final analysis, you cannot changes these 'core beliefs'. The other person can, but has to want to, himself, otherwise it just causes friction.

    Good for you that you realized this! And, at 38, no your life is NOT over...heavens, many, many men are still single till they are in their 50's!
    Enjoy life, go about living happy...all else will come!

    Hugs, Kathi

    Yes, I do realize you are a gal...but I was just making the point that if it's ok for them, it's ok for we ladies....lol!
  • Joy1216
    Joy1216 Member Posts: 290 Member
    #8
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    I'm 58, so 38 seems so young to me. I have been married three times - 20, 24, and 51. I was married for 15 years the second time and I should have left after 5, but then I wouldn't have my wonderful son if I did. I was a single parent from age 37 to age 51 (he was 6 when his dad and I separated and 20 when I remarried). It wasn't always easy being a single parent, but my son turned out fine. He is an engineer and has three degrees from MIT. I have been married to the most wonderful man in the world for the last 7 years. We were both praying for God to bring someone into our lives; we met at a Sunday School party two months after my son left to go to college halfway across the country. You have NOT messed up everything at 38. If things worked out so well for me, they can work out for you. Do what you enjoy doing and you'll meet the right man at the right time in your life in answer to your prayers.
    Joy
  • jams67
    jams67 Member Posts: 925 Member
    #9
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    I had a friend named Ann, who was in her 30's and people would ask her if she was ever going to find someone and marry and she would laugh and say that a lot of people she knew had married and were divorced by the time they were her age. Ann would say she felt like she had just missed her first divorce by waiting. Then she found the perfect guy and has 2 beautiful girls so don't give up yet.
    Jo Ann

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