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Uneasy

Faith4Cure
Posts: 405
Joined: Mar 2007

Hello all. My husband was diagnosed with Stage III rectal cancer a little over a year ago. He has been through all of the treatments and is doing very well will no sign of the beast. I don't know if it is the holidays and all of the stress or what.....I feel so uneasy and worried that cancer is lurking around in his body. I try to be reasonable but with every ache and pain he has these last couple of weeks, I feel a panic. He had some moles removed and biopsied last week and I have been terrified of what we will hear. The doctor said no news is good news this week, so I'm waiting for this week to end! Also, his back has been hurting, so of course, you know what I am thinking. Sometimes I wake up in the night and feel like I'm having a panic attack! I have been so positive this past year. I don't know why I am falling apart now.

Thanks for listening! Merry Christmas to you all!

Faith

hopefulone
Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Faith,A Big Hug. . I know exactly too well that panicky feeling and how hard it is to wait for results. I too think that the holidays add more to our stress level and feelings of being a little overwhelmed. Praying the biopsy results will be negative and your mind will be put at ease. The back pain may just be a result of the colder weather and also a delayed side effect of the chemo regimen he had . Hang in there g/f. All will be ok and a Merry Christmas to you both and best wishes for a bright, happy and healthy New Year.
God Bless,
Diane

KathiM's picture
KathiM
Posts: 7906
Joined: Aug 2005

Faith,

This is a condition many of us refer to as 'canceritis'. Caregivers and survivors alike are finding scary shadows in everything....unlike the general population who sees pain as just, well, pain....not something darker. And remember, hubby was radiated thru the lower back...I STILL have back troubles occasionally...actually, do right now....and it's from LA Fitness...rofl!

The best remedy for canceritis is knowing it exists. And asking hubby's onc to explain. I always made a big joke about it (caregiver and survivor here...lol) when I called and asked...they are used to this phenom.

The difference between we families that have been touched by the beast and those who have not is basically that we now KNOW that life is not endless, and is precious. You both need to help each other with talking it out when you are scared...and comforting each other when it happens. Notice I said BOTH....you, too!!! Caregivers somehow think that they should not burden their loved one with their worries...but you are involved, too! I always laugh at it, but if it's presenting with a real symptom (in my opinion...lol), then I call and make an appointment with my onc....I keep it to a minimum, so they know it must be something when I call...

The other thing is time. As you know, I am almost 2 years past any cancer, 3 years past rectal. If you look at the stats for rectal cancer, the first year is the biggest to get thru, and after 2 years, well, the medical community considers the 'cure' word....hubby is over half way there!!!! YEA!!!

Hugs, Kathi

Faith4Cure
Posts: 405
Joined: Mar 2007

Thanks Diane and Kathi! Kathi, I thought you would be on vacation by now! Thanks for your kind words. I don't know what I would do without people like both of you! I sometimes feel guilty and hate to post these feelings, because it appears that Paul is doing well and I should not be feeling this way. We got a letter yesterday that said all 5 moles were benign, whew!!!! And about his sore back, I don't know. My husband makes such light out of all that has happened to him this past year. You won't believe this one----He has been going to the chiropractor quite often lately. He doesn't see the need in telling his chiro that he has been through cancer, chemo, rads, etc....!!!!!I just shake my head in disbelief. Do you think it is safe to be having adjustments made?

Thanks again Kathi and Diane. I wish both of you happy holidays and of course a healthy new year!

Faith

hopefulone
Posts: 1048
Joined: Jan 2007

Faith , great news. So glad everything was benign. I wish you and Paul a Happy New Year!
God Bless,
Diane

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