CSN Login
Members Online: 11

In a Daze

Posts: 1
Joined: Jul 2007

My grandfather, who is 90, recently was not feeling well-initially had surgery for his gall bladder but didnt feel good afterwards...anyway, turned out it was a bowel obstruction and when they did the surgery, they discovered cancer "everywhere"...have given him a very short time to live. Previously, my father (his son) was diagnosed with cancer in 2001, stage 4, amazingly is still living with it and doing well.
I feel like I am in a daze-I cannot stop crying, stay up late worrying, cannot seem to deal with this latest news. I dont know what to say to my grandfather. I hate seeing him so thin and weak and knowing that this is terminal. I have dealt for years with my father's cancer but he has been a survivor and probably quite an exception to a lot of outcomes. I just cannot seem to get a handle on my grandfather's cancer-it is just so horrible when there is nothing to try to help this disease, no treatments, etc. I know my grandfather is 90 and it is comforting that he had a great long life, but it just overwhelms me with emotion that there are no options. I am struggling with everything-does anyone have any advice? Is it normal to feel like this?

Posts: 10
Joined: Jul 2007

Hi enmom,

My thoughts are with you.
My dad got diagnosed with end stage colo-rectal cancer (he was 64) in 1998. They gave him 3 weeks to live. Anyway I got him into a clinical trial and he lived almost 7 more years and ultimately died in his sleep of a heart attack. Then this past September my healthy 67 yrd. old mom, who was my everyhting, got diagnosed with "treatable" lung cancer. We fought a horrific battle and she died on April 22nd. From September until now all I do is cry. There is never a right way for people and the ones we love, to get sick, to grieve, to fight....We all do the best we can. I think your crying is not only normal it's healthy. Age means nothing, it's our love for those close to us that matters and I know that for me to see someone I love in pain, and to feel so helpless is almost too much to bear.
It sounds like you are coming from such a loving place and your dad and grandfather are lucky to have your love in their lives.

Sending you lots of positive energy,

Subscribe with RSS
About Cancer Society

The content on this site is for informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Do not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease without consulting with a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have regarding your condition. Use of this online service is subject to the disclaimer and the terms and conditions.

Copyright 2000-2015 © Cancer Survivors Network