I just lost my wonderful dad to throat cancer on May 14. He was 80 years old and had never been sick a day in his life. He certainly paid for that though these past 9 months. I was dads primary caregiver going over every single day and taking care of his personal needs as well as dealing with finances and helping my Mom out. I work as an elderly caregiver and had been doing that at the same time as well.
Now that the funeral and burial are over, paperwork is sorted out....I find myself lost! My life has just been so full and now I sit here and can't seem to get myself motivated. I am just so emotionally drained.
I am so happy that my dad is finally at peace but yet I can't believe he's truly gone.
I am full of anger at what cancer did to him, reducing him from a 180 lb. handsome man to a walking 90 lb. skeleton.
I myself have had cancer 3 times and now worry about a recurrence even more than usual. I am petrified that what happened to my dad will happen to me and I feel guilty about feeling this way!
How do I handle all these emotions?