Feb 28, 2007 - 12:21 am
I just lost my mom 7 days ago after a 2 year battle with breast cancer. When she was first diagnosed it had already spead to her lyphm nodes and bone. Which was a total shock cause my mom went to the doctor regulary and had her mamograms every year how could this happen. We were devestated but ready for the fight. My mom fought a good fight with humor and dignity up to the end when the cancer spread to her liver and brain. I can honestly say we were very lucky because the chemo (Doxil) didnt make her to sick nor did she lose her hair. We had 2 good years together. But now she is gone and I feel so alone. Let me tell you a bit about me and my mom`s relasonship. I lost my father to cancer 20 years ago and ever since then my mom and I have been super close. I loved her more than words can ever say. She was my best friend I coluld tell her anything and I miss her so much. The last 4 days of her life I spent with he in the hospital and I told her everything I ever wanted to tell her so I feel good about that. But she had a hard time in the very end she struggled for about 1 hour befor she died I held her until her very last breathe but it was so hard for me to see her this way it hurts bad. Now that we have had her services and it was great so many people came I was able to speak at the services which made me feel soo good.But now I think every thing is staring to hit me. When I try and go to sleep I see her and it is always those last hours when she wasnt doing so good. I try to think of the good memories but I just winde up seeing her in that horrible hospital bed fight to breathe it`s driving me crazy. I still in my mind sometimes think she is gonna be home when I call or I look for her in the store. I here her calling me and I go in her room and it`s empty I don`t understand. I`m not crazy I just want her back. Please give any advice I am looking into greif support groups but is this kinda normal stuff I should be feeling. I am 34 and she was 64 and her b-day is saturday and I am dreading it please help.