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emotional aftereffects

oldejack's picture
oldejack
Posts: 28
Joined: Sep 2005

howdy folks,
well i wonder how many of us can attest to similiar life events. my ex is a wonderful yet abusive person who i still love to distraction. but one of the decisions i reached during recovery was that i would no longer accept the emotional abuse. despite my repeated attempts to communicate with her she has been unfortunately unable to change her behavior even today and as a result the marriage ended. i refuse to accept her abuse anymore and yet that's my fault...

HeartJourney1's picture
HeartJourney1
Posts: 16
Joined: Jul 2006

I know for myself, as I recover, I've made decisions and then later changed my mind. Lucky for me, I haven't acted on any of the decisions I've been making. In my case, I know that the emotional roller coaster I'm on is in part due to forced menopause after my hysterectomy.

However, the decision to leave an abusive partner is always a good decision. I believe that a zero tolerance policy is the best policy! (Yes, I have personal experience.)

I also know that having had cancer has made me very aware of my own mortality and the briefness of this life. I don't want to waste any more time!

Only you can know what the best decisions are for you. You may want to talk to a close family member or friend, pastor, counselor, etc. Goodness knows dealing with cancer is more than enough and yet the ride of life doesn't stop so we can get off and deal with one thing at a time.

I wish you the best.

Be blessed :-)

TereB
Posts: 288
Joined: Apr 2003

Cancer is not an easy disease and I think that when we have to go through the surgery, difficult treatments and recovery we look more closely at our lives, see what our priorities are and how we want to live thereafter.

Just like HeartJourney says, with cancer we are more aware of our own mortality, how short life can be. Everybody is different. I thought about my life and also whether I wanted to continue living in the same way.

How can it be your fault? You are not responsible for the abuse, you didn't force your wife to be abusive. Your wife could have chosen to take a good look at her behavior and change it, maybe even get help. You cannot change your wife, only she can do that. All you can do is decide whether you can live with the abuse or not. You tried to communicate with her repeatedly, with no results.

I wish all the best and peace in your heart.
God Bless

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