Crazy Reaction...

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Susan956
Susan956 Member Posts: 510
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
Ok, I am curious if any other of you have reacted the same way. Where I live it has already gotten hot.. into the high 80's. So the heat has encouraged me to ditch my wig... So I have done it. But I feel so strange and unattrative to have such short hair. (everyone else says it is cute) It seems to make me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. This seems crazy to me... I am doing great... Have beaten cancer... my energy is back... I am back to living a normal life.. I am truly bless... but somehow since I stopped wearing my wig.. I feel naked.... I know I will get over this... but is it normal to feel this way?

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  • LesleyH
    LesleyH Member Posts: 370
    #2
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    Normal? That is a loaded question. I don't know. But I think I do know how you feel.

    I finished chemo a few months ago and as soon as my hair started growing back, I ditched the hat and scarves (never did the wig). Suddenly I felt so vulnerable - now total strangers would know that I was recovering from chemo - or so I thought. I felt too uncomfortable and have gone back to the hat and scarves when I go out. I just feel more comfortable that way.

    Hugs

    Lesley
  • tlmac
    tlmac Member Posts: 272 Member
    #3
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    Hi Susan, I bought a wig but only had it on my head once. I didn't recognize the person I saw. Instead, I tossed on a ball cap for the duration. I've had friends tell me that giving up the wig to go "au natural" was a big step for them. Giving up the ball cap had the same impact on me. I think your feelings are perfectly normal. The person you see in the mirror is different in more ways than one. The face looking back at you now is one of a survivor. As your hair grows in, you'll begin to feel more comfortable. One friend, who lost shoulder length hair, liked her short spiked doo so much she kept it. Good luck!
    terri
  • Future
    Future Member Posts: 133 Member
    #4
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    We're all different. I wore a wig too. It was kind of humorous - I went on vacation and when I came back I wasn't wearing the wig. The guys in the office just thought I "had a mood" and decided to go drastic on a haircut. The women figured otherwise. When my hair started coming back I found a hair dresser experienced working with cancer survivors. She would adapt my hair style as my hair grew out keeping it in a "current style" (spike, freestyle, etc). I had some false tries with other stylists before I figured out what to ask - did the salon have a stylist experienced working with chemo patients.
  • KathiM
    KathiM Member Posts: 8,028 Member
    #5
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    Nah, Susan, not crazy at all. When mine fell out, I tried a wig...ONCE. TOO scratchy and hot for me. So, I had one GREAT day buying hats,scarves, and other stuff. Mainly to keep my head warm and protected when outside. I occasionally went 'naked' and made eye contact with everyone that scowled at me.
    I was EVEN asked if my bald was by choice. I said "Yes, I guess....MY choice is to live!". For serious occasions, I wear the standard stretchy turban in black, but for everything else, I just go with the way I feel....it WILL start getting to feel 'NORMAL' if you want it to be.
    But, one word of caution. I, too, live in a warm area (So California). I went outside 'naked' one day to the swap meet. Didn't put on sunscreen. In MY case, this skin hasn't seen sun for 50 years, when I was born!!!!
    I got SUCH a burn!!! (My oncologist said "Did we not go over the part about head protection"). I now ALWAYS wear at LEAST SPF 50 on my head.
    Hugs,
    'The bald lady with the big mouth'
    Kathi
  • Susan956
    Susan956 Member Posts: 510
    #6
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    Thanks to all for your responses. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who felt odd about this. I am hoping that when I get past bumping into the people that I work with routinely, I will start feeling more comfortable. I managed to work pretty much through most of my treatments so many people never knew that I was sick and I never wanted people to think that I was sick... I just basically wanted to carry on and get to the other side and be healthy again... I have made it there but somehow admitting that I don't have hair... I guess is making me really deal with the survorship issue. What a wonder issue to be able to deal with.

    God Bless all and Thanks again.
  • dhwhiting
    dhwhiting Member Posts: 5
    #7
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    Not crazy at all! It's hard not having hair! I hated my wig and went through chemo in the summer. It was hot and itchy...so I wore scarves and baseball caps! I have been done with chemo 6 months and I now love my short, EASY hair-do! Hang in there!!
  • seraphima
    seraphima Member Posts: 7
    #8
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    Hello Darlin,I have been having a hard time with this also, my hair was to my waist(very long) it was apart of my identity in a silly way. But honestly as a 26 year old and just being a women the world puts women in a difficult position. But hair just like breasts do not make you who you are. Radiate that beauty (that is obvious in your writing) that you have within and then bald, scarves or the occasional wig will just seem like an accessory not a neccessity. Smile a big smile and people that are worth your time won't even recall wheather you had long or short hair. God bless and enjoy everyday!
  • jdubious
    jdubious Member Posts: 113
    #9
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    It does take some getting used to! After I completed chemo, I had about 1/2 inch of hair, which was VERY blonde (white!)so I was still wearing a wig. My mom took me to Death Valley and Las Vegas for a few days, and between the heat and driving a convertable, the wig had to go! I thought that Las Vegas was really the place to go wigless - there's so much going on that no one even looked at my head!
    The other thing I did is look at a bunch of hairstyle magazines. It's amazing what you can do with really short hair with a little gel and a good picture. I felt much better about my appearance when my hair was styled rather than just "there."
    jill
  • 24242
    24242 Member Posts: 1,398
    #10
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    I decided after everything I was going through I wasn't going to spend another moment uncomfortable so that others would be. I didn't wear hates or wigs because it was also in heat of spring and summer when I went through my treatments. Having a bald head was something that helped me with all the night sweats and hot flashes even though at such a young age. It takes all I have now not to shave the hair off when I get too hot because I will always remember what a relief it gave me from the heat and especially hot flashes through the night.
    Besides being told I was in wrong line ups for washrooms it was all good. Nine years later I now see allot of bald heads out there on women and know they too can't stand the heat.
    Be good to yourself always,
    Tara
    could be doing the hot flashing and sweating thing for another 30 years if anything like my own mother.

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