Scared for my mom

Options
daughterof
daughterof Member Posts: 1
edited March 2014 in Breast Cancer #1
My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer three years ago -- it had spread to the bone. There have been some ups and downs (including one very scary period where it didn't look good) but so far, for the past year, it's been pretty stable. Now, she's got bad pain and swelling near her collarbone. Her doctor has just started looking into it but I'm so worried that it's something to do with her lymph nodes. Since the past year has been relatively stable I've managed to suppress all (/most of) my worries and live day by day but now it's all coming flooding back and I am just so worried about my mom. Can someone please tell me how they deal with bad news? And with all the fear and the worry? And if it's bad news how do I stay strong in front of my mom?

Comments

  • iliana5888
    iliana5888 Member Posts: 1
    #2
    Options
    its hard because its your mother and you see her go through the pain i don't know if you are religous are not put keep faith in god he will help you i went through it with my mom it wasn't easy and now im going through it live day by day she is here know. encourage her be there for her the best that you can ,sometimes we have to be a mask infront of her but take a side for you and just let go your worries and fear first except what is really happening .no matter what is the outcome tell her i love you and except your decission even if its what we don't want to hear
  • mc2001
    mc2001 Member Posts: 343
    #3
    Options
    Hi Daughter,
    I know this fear you have seems consuming, and constantly in the back of your head. This is normal. You love your mom and want her around as long as possible. What always helps me through rough spots is prayer. During the past, before I became more involved in my faith, I used to blame God for all the bad in the world, including health issues. But, as I learned that God had originally planned for a good and pure world, but through our free will and decisions to misuse or abuse our free will, I realized that unfortunately we live in an imperfect world. But that doesnt mean God doesnt care. Even if we arent used to praying.. we can start by asking God to help us with prayer. I say this because without my faith I would have never made it through leukemia. I hope this helps. I will certainly keep you in my prayers. God bless.
    -Michael (leukemia survivor)
  • _Karin_
    _Karin_ Member Posts: 2
    #4
    Options
    You live with it, like you said, one day at a time. If that is too much you take it down to hour by hour. You try to push the fear away by realizing what a waste of time it is to worry about something you don't know anything about yet. That every minute is precious and you need to enjoy and make the most out of it while you can. Not always easy, the fears can be overwhelming at times, I know.

    Speaking as a Mom, I don't need for my daughter to "stay strong" for me. I just need her to be there. And she has been. She is 22 and I have been so moved and touched by the things she has done. She lives in another state so it is hard when you are far. But she came to help me with my surgery. And my little wuss that I still had to hold her hand while she had blood drawn was amazing. She took care of my drains, got up 10 times a night to take care of me and was wonderful. I can be scared with her or cry with her as long as she is there. I don't need her to be "strong" just to be there means so much.

    You know while you are trying to be strong for her she is trying to be strong for you. Don't be afraid to share your fears and worries with her and let her know you can hear hers too.

    Your Mom is lucky to have such a caring daughter. Best of luck to you.

Discussion Boards