Hi everyone my name is holly. I was diagnosed with embryonal rhabdomyosarcoma in january 2004 and finished all treatments in May of the same year. I have been cancer free for a little over a year but the mental and emotional aspects are still very much there.
It seems like every time i see or hear anything about cancer it usually ends up with shortness of breath and increased heart rate. I dont know if i would say i suffer from depression because im only sad or down when im alone or not busy. I tend to try to pack my life with stress and over all just being busy to avoid thoughts or real feelings about my cancer.
Unfortunately my tumors were so bad that a hysterectomy was my only option. Being a 20 year old female at the time it seemed unreal. At the time it was the least of my concerns. Now however it kind of messes with my head. When in relationships with guys its almost i feel less like a women/less attractive or desirable because i cant have kids. I feel it holds me back sometimes, and sometimes i feel ashamed of it.
I guess im just lookin for someone who might be able to relate, or someone with some advice or just helpful words.
I know everyone on this site has had terrible experiances and i hope everyone is doing better or at least on their way to recovery.
One of my coaches at college when i was dealing with my cancer always told me a quote and wrote it on everything she gave me...
"god does not put you through what he can not bring you through"
Dont know that quote helped me out many times so thought i would shar it with yall. Thanks for listening