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Thanks All!`

MJay's picture
MJay
Posts: 132
Joined: Aug 2004

Thank you all for your wonderful support re: my current crisis. My Hubby has moved out and the kids and I are valiantly trying to pick up the pieces. They are asking me tons of questions (they are 12 and 10) and I would love to tell them that it is their father that is giving up on this family. Not I. But I know in the long run that is the wrong thing to do. No matter what kind of self-centered-selfish jerk he is, he is still their father and they love him.

I am slowly coming to terms that he was never the right man for me and once we get through this tough time and life gets to the new normal I will be better off without him.

I have accepted and owned my side in the problems in this marriage. It takes two to make it and two to break it... but it takes only one to walk away and not want to fight for it. Since he is the one who is walking away then it's time he start to see what life is really like in a divorced family. There won't be the easy unlimited access to the kids, there won't be anymore free coming and going here in our house. Freedom comes at a price. I would never use my kids as a weapon against him... but I will be protecting them and their mom because they need me to.

Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice, words of wisdom are most appreciated. I meet with my lawyer tomorrow. I have appts with two. The next one has a reputation of being a shark and I am thinking that is what I need to protect me and the kids. Not normally my style but I have never been in this situation before.

MJay

kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

MJay,

Best of luck to you and your children. Yes, you are probably better off without him as you would always be living with the turmoil and fear of his leaving. Now you can make your life easier and hopefully less stressful.

I am wishing you the very best. You are a very strong person.

I will be emailing you.

Kerry

mwomack
Posts: 78
Joined: Jan 2005

First of all, I am so sorry for your heartache. Cancer is more than enough for a lifetime.

I would like to recommend a web-site where you can get a lot of support and advise. It is www.marriagebuilders.com. Go into the discussion forums, and they have different "rooms" such as Divorced/Divorcing, General Questions, etc. I found the web-site from the book "His Needs, Her Needs" which was written by one of the site owners.

Good luck
MA

tkd3g
Posts: 768
Joined: Aug 2004

Hi MJay.

Glad to hear you getting thru this crisis. I'm sure there will be ups and downs. Much more ups than downs :)

Go for the shark. I've seen too many friends slighted in a divorce. You should fight for everything you and your children have coming to them.

Love and hugs to you.

Barb

Moesimo's picture
Moesimo
Posts: 1075
Joined: Jul 2003

MJay,

I am sorry that you are going through all this. I know it must be hard to stay strong for your children.

You will get through this. It won't be easy. You are a fighter to have conquered the cancer and you will conquer the divorce.

stay strong.

Maureen

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