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will be 31, and found out cancer is back in lung

DanaH
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2004

Hi all... It would have been 3 years in June that I have been without cancer but just found out last week that it is back in my lung. I had that removed and will be starting chemo again next week. My twins will be 4 in June so it's going to be much harder this time! Any suggestions on what to tell young kids when mommy is sick and keeps getting sicker? Last time I did chemo (CPT-11) it about killed me but the kids were babies so they didn't understand any of it and it didn't bother them much. Well sorry to ramble... I hope this makes sense... Thanks for listening and for the advice!! God Bless all of you!

Shandle
Posts: 205
Joined: Apr 2005

Hi Dana, It crushes me to hear you're only 31 with lung cancer. I'm not sure what to offer in suggestion for your twins. Do you have help? The twins dad maybe? If it were me.. I wouldn't tell them that you are getting sicker, but would tell them that you are ill and it will take a while to get well. (don't give up) Maybe you can teach them to pray with you. My heart goes out to you. It must be very hard to deal with that. I'll pray for you. Wanda

DanaH
Posts: 2
Joined: Jan 2004

Wanda, Thank you for your reply. I do have lots of wonderful support. My husband is wonderful and my parents live in the same town that we do and are incredible help with the twins. I am just scared and worried about the future. I just don't want my kids to worry about what's going to happen. Thanks again!!
Dana

MJay's picture
MJay
Posts: 132
Joined: Aug 2004

Hi Dana~ My kids were 9 & 11 when I was diagnosed. I think you would treat your kids the same way I did mine. Not at the same age level, mind you, but with honesty.

Basically we told the kids that I was sick. For mine I was able to use the word cancer. We explained that in order for me to get better the medicine and treatments were going to make me sicker. But we had to do this in order for me to get better.

That was all they needed to know. They did have questions, so we answered them honestly. Blessedly they didn't have the full understanding of cancer so they weren't as scared as we were.

Good luck.

MJay

kerry's picture
kerry
Posts: 1317
Joined: Jan 2003

Dana

I am so sorry to hear about your recurrance. I know how it feels, I had my recurrance about 2 months before my 2nd yr anniversary of diagnosis. My children are grown and it was still hard on them to watch their mother ill. I too was on CPT-11 the first time around and it just about did me in.

You have 2 good reasons for putting up a good fight to beat this disease. I wish you all the best. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Kerry

bcmeaks
Posts: 22
Joined: Apr 2004

Hi Dana. My kids were 6 and 4 when I was diagnosed. My husband and I handled it similar to MJay, except we did not tell them it was "cancer". I was afraid they would tell someone at school and their friends would say they knew someone who died of cancer. I didn't want to scare them.

I'll be praying for you that you can beat this thing again.

crazylady
Posts: 544
Joined: Jun 2004

Dana,
I'm so sorry that the cancer is back. Be honest with your twins, but only give them the information that they need on their level. Perhaps tell them that Mommy is sick and that the special medicine she has to take to feel better takes a while to work. My children were between the ages of 12 and 25 when I was diagnosed so it was totally different. I had to be totally open and lay it out and answer a lot of questions. I really think that honesty is the best policy.
Take care. I hope that things go well for you!
Jamie

jsabol's picture
jsabol
Posts: 1156
Joined: Dec 2003

Dana,
Good luck to you with this round of chemo; hope it is easier to tolerate. Kids are very resilient and can get through pretty much anything when they know they are loved.
Keep us posted and take care of yourself. You'll be in my prayers.Judy

nettie4
Posts: 145
Joined: Mar 2004

dana. i am sorry to hear of your recurrence. i too had recurrence to my lungs and i will be 36 in july. i have kids who r 6 and 8 right now but at the time of recurrence they were 3 and 5. i told them that the inside of mommys body was sick and the medicine was helping me. i too had alot of side affects and getting through them was difficult and i did not have help with the kids. i have a wonderful husband too. i still tried to smile and laugh and let them lay in bed with me and watch some tv just kept talking to them. i said to them you know when you get a cold and i take you to the doctor and you take medicine and you get better that is what mommy is doing. i too struggle with their future but i now concentrate more on the days i have with them and when and if that time comes i will make plans for that. i hope you have a good medical facility you are going too. Gods blessings to you and your family and i pray you dont get to sick this time from treatment.

nettie

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